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Is Wicca really the path for me? That's the one question I keep asking myself over and over again recently. As I get deeper into my studies and embrace the darkness more complete, I have come to a basic understanding of things. I've heard that Wicca is mainly a path of goodness and light. Darkness is most likely shunned and considered taboo to most.



It's been almost a year since I thought the Wiccan way chose me, but did it really? Or was I blinded to believe it was the path for me. Only to be living a lie these past months. Until I finally realized where my true abilities and powers are. And where might that be at? Why, the night of course! Nocturnal Witchcraft is my true calling. At least I believe it to be, as it has found me. I tried blending it into my Wiccan beliefs but they keep having conflict with each other.



Why is it that I seem to be drawn, to be lured to the darkness? Simple answer really. I've always been curious and interested, drawn to the night and lunar energies. Always favored black clothing, silver jewelery and the darker things in life. I've always prefered the nighttime hours to the daytime sunny hours.



My vampirism most likely has a big impact on it as well. Being that I have photosensitivity and don't care for the sun much. Seriously though, if I'm outside during the daylight hours too long in the sun, I get ill and feel sick, not to mention I burn easily. If outside I most of the time, if not always have sunglasses on. But anyways, enough about my vampirism, back to what this is really about. My path.



I believe even through my childhood I have embraced the darkness. Have had natural psychic abilities, being I could see Demons and other things considered "supernatural". Have always had an ability for Telepathy to a certain degree. And a way with animals where I felt some comforting in their presence and they seemed to be soothed by me as well. Especially cats and rabbits.



Being raised in a strict Christian town can sure confuse a kid growing up, who feels they don't belong there. Having the feeling that every Sunday the preaching was directed your way with eyes always on you. Having an alienated feeling, like I was from another planet and trying to find my way home.



It wasn't until after the sun had set and all was quite and peaceful that I could feel secure and safe. Safe from judgement and ridicule. As I grew older the lure to the night got stronger. Expressing itself in different and many ways. I tried to keep it hidden for years from my family and others. But I knew it wouldn't last long hiding it.



It was Summer of last year, 2007, that I finally brought my true self out of hiding and let it come to it's full potential. My parents totally freaked of course, saying I was possessed by Satan or a Demon and tried laying hands on me and annointing me with "blessed oil and holy water". I of course would have nothing to do with that. So the months went by and we continued to argue. It was during this time that I ran upon Wicca. And thought that's just what I was searching for. So I started considering myself Wiccan and working it into my daily life.



After a couple more months went by, my parents cooled down and accepted me for who I am. Well, my Mom did at least. My Dad still denies who and what I am. He says I'm "in a phase". Whatever, a phase I guess, I'll be in my entire life? Eventually I hope he'll get over it.



It wasn't till last month, December of 2007 that I started to realize that Wicca wasn't working with the darkness within me. If anything it was trying to drive it away, which just made me crazy. Things started going through my head. I just wasn't feeling right anymore. But then I came across a book. Nocturnal Witchcraft by Konstantinos. Things couldn't of gotten anymore clearer than that! Finally, it came to me.



No wonder I still felt alienated. Wicca isn't for me. It would not embrace my darkness, my need for the night. But oh, Nocturnal Witchcraft. Yes, indeed, that's the path for me. It has found me and will never leave me. I have never felt more complete in my life. So gradually, I'm leaving the Wiccan path behind me. And I feel the need to explore more things in the Occult that intrigues my interest.



So, there it has been said and now it is done. So mote it be! I have now claimed my true way, the way of the Night and of darkness. Believe what you will, but Darkness, does NOT mean, is NOT, evil. Darkness and Light, are simply the 2 paths taken towards the 2 ways of choice to Good or Evil. What is my soul type you may ask? Why, it would be Good-Dark!



Darkest Blessings,

Shadow Chaos

~The Night Witch~