TLDG's Vampire Journal

TLDG's Journal

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4 entries this month

← Jul 2011

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00:40 Aug 21 2011
Times Read: 569

Men are like...Coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like...Computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like...Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like...Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like...Bike Helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Men are like...Government Bonds. They take so long to mature.

Men are like...Parking Spots. The good ones are taken and the rest are too small.

Men are like...Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like...Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like...Bank Accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like...High Heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like...Curling Irons. They're always hot and they're always in your hair.

Men are like...Mini Skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

Men are like...Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like...Department stores. Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like...Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like...Chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like...Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like...Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like...Plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like...Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.

Men are like...Parking spots. The good ones are already taken and what's left is handicapped.

Men are like...Snowstorms. You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long he will last.

What should you give a man who has everything?

A woman to show him how to work it.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that make dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

How do you save a man from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

We don't know, it's never happened.

Why are men like tile floors?

If you lay 'em properly the first time you can walk all over 'em for years.

What do you call a man with half a brain?

Gifted.

Why do men become smarter during sex?

Because they're plugged into a genius!!

Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive,

caring and good looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends

COMMENTS

Nicnic
00:43 Aug 21 2011

That list was a little bigger then I was lead to believe!

Also, to poke a hole in this entire thing; as a male-type thing my self, last I checked anyway, I hate beer. I mean, I fucking hate beer... So, you know.

tr1n1ty01
02:05 Aug 21 2011

LOL! Leave it to you to find this! Made me smile girl!

DestroyingAngel
18:32 Sep 07 2011

LOL

dragonjss31
21:29 Jan 27 2013

thats just cold lol

08:54 Aug 17 2011
Times Read: 577

-looks at a certain someone and yells- Sail -giggles-

COMMENTS

00:03 Aug 03 2011
Times Read: 608

I should keep track of people who add me..so when they take me off I can..

If only I cared enough..lol

Someone took me off their friends list -throws confetti-

COMMENTS