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I wonder if he even notices that I’m there…I notice that he keeps staring at the horrid human, why? What is so special about her that he’s enthralled with her? Why won’t he look at me like that? Gods, I remember when he used to look at me like that. His eyes filled with love, that small smile on his face…he was so beautiful. Goddamn you!



Sorry, lost my temper…rare but it happens, which is strange, I shouldn’t be able to get so angry so fast. What is happening to me? Am I becoming human? Ludicrous.



I had a dream…it’s been a while since I last dreamed.



My human was on the ground holding that vermin woman he cherishes so much and tears were streaming down his face. Why does he cry for her? She is nothing but a thorn in my side. She should have been destroyed a long time ago, but no, she has stolen my human from me. Anyway, he glances up at me and I see something that I have never seen before. Hate. So much hate. He hates me. Why? That’s when I realize that I have a little bit of blood dripping down my chin. I wipe at it and I know it’s her blood. The satisfaction and horror I feel is clashing inside me, but I can only stare at the blood. So lovely, so intoxicating, so…right. That’s when he speaks, “What have you done? What are you?” The hate is still apparent in his eyes…why does he look at me so? Even when they forced him to become a creature like me, he didn’t hate me…why now? Because I have destroyed the one thing he loves: Her. I stare down at that thing in his arms and study her. She isn’t what you would call Beautiful, but there was something about her that was vaguely familiar, as if I knew what kind of person she was. She had long mahogany-colored hair that draped over his arm and curled onto the floor, her eyes were wide open: her once lovely shade of chocolate eyes now murky depths of nothingness. I suddenly had the strange sensation as if I was floating away from myself…I could see what was going on, I could hear what was being said, but I wasn’t me anymore, instead I was floating above the scene…that creature standing before the couple on the ground wasn’t me anymore. It was a…monster. Unexpectedly, I felt arms holding me. I looked up and found my human holding me…but it wasn’t the creature me…it was the human me, the human woman he had been holding…it was me! I stared up at him, memorized. I could tell he hated that creature standing before him, his features said it all, but I couldn’t understand why he hated her. She was so exquisite. Nothing like I had ever seen…he should be with someone like her, rather than a plain one like me. He turned his attention away from her and stared down at me, but to him I was dead. I wanted to reach up and touch his face one last time, I wanted to taste his kiss, feel his lips on mine, hear him whisper he loved me…but I couldn’t, it had all be taken away from me, why?



I woke up shaking and almost had a panic attack. I am ashamed to say that dream got to me…was she really like me? Am I really a monster? Do I even have the right to take him away from her? I don’t know…all I know is that he looks at her and he doesn’t see me. I am nothing but a shadow, watching over him. I yearn to be held in his arms, to hold him in return, to say how much I love him. I wish I could say that at least to him…but I can’t, he isn’t mine to cherish. He isn’t mine to protect, to love, to live eternity with. I can’t seem to stop this chasm that is opening inside me, a bottomless ache that is everlasting…My human was there and now, I have nothing but the rest of eternity to dream about what I had. I couldn’t help myself, I started crying. I took his shirt that I sleep with every night and just held it, imagining that I was holding him one last time, anything to be able to touch him, to have just one more chance. Please? Just one chance…or have I already had that chance, and I was stupid enough to let him go?

COMMENTS

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Angelus
02:03 May 20 2009

..this is well excellent. I do like it.

Nice use of emoton in the piece: and, it's very descriptive.

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I forgot how to woo humans…ever since I lost my human, trying to gain their affections was far from my mind, and now that my human is back…I don’t know how to steal him back.

I lost my graceful ability to lure humans to me because I was more consumed with thoughts of surviving and waiting for my human. Gods, I missed him so badly. When the others learned of what I had done to him, they tortured me for days to strip me of my emotions once more, to get rid of the lingering heartache, tears, and love that I still bore for him. And they succeeded until I found his shirt. He had left it behind in my apartment…I slept with that shirt for days until his scent slowly faded from it. I couldn’t help myself, I cried every time I pictured his face, his smile, his sparkling eyes, him so perfect. And now the fates has given me a second chance to make everything right…but they don’t hand everything to you do they? No, they like to make it almost impossible that you’re close to giving up.

Should I expand on my torture that they put me through? Simple, they starved me until I couldn’t remember who I was, what I was, what day it was, who anyone was. I was in a daze and all I lived for was to taste the sweet nectar of life: Blood. If possible, they would have done this to me earlier and fed my human to me, but they knew that would have destroyed me completely. I don’t know how I still call them family, but perhaps they are only looking out for me, god knows, I don’t know myself any longer. I doubt I could have survived this long without their help, but I draw the line at them changing my perfect human, how dare they?! They had no right to force him to become a creature such as they, such as I, but they think they are gods…such foolish conclusions.

There I go again, defaming my own kind. I am seriously losing myself. How can I value humans more than the friendship of my own kind? How can I put a human above the survival of my own kind? I shouldn’t and that means there is something wrong with me. Humans are weak. Humans are only good for use, not for love, nor for being cherished.

Maybe that’s why they sent one of my own kind to make me forget my human. Oh, did I forget to tell you that? It seems that I have but that’s no surprise, my mind is slowly withering away…and I’m afraid the only person that can stop it is my beautiful human. Yes, they sent a sexual predator to make me forget my human, to drive him out of my system…he did everything right, he was satisfactory, but he was no where near comparable to my human. My human is perfect with his small flaws, the predator was flawless…see the difference? Obviously they don’t, because they think perfection is all that matters, they think that I love my human because he is perfect and that they can make me forget about him by sending someone who is perfection incarnate. Now only one question remains unanswered:

Did the predator succeed in making me forget my human? No. And no one can do that. He is mine, and he always will be. He just doesn’t know it yet.