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I messed up. I made the mistake of growing feelings for this Michael look alike...and now I'm paying for it again. Once more another harassment. Another argument. Another mistake. I was so stupid.



But I'm going to make it right and end up alone again. :\

I wish I could ask you to stay, to forgive me, but...I know it will come to bite me in the ass. Better to tell the whole truth than to hide things. But I feel sick to my stomach.



I say I want love and yet...I mess things up every time. Other times, it's not my fault. But this time it is. How can I be so stupid? How can I do this? What kind of person am I? Will you forgive me? Or am I going to end up alone. Probably alone.



How does one start a conversation like this? Every time I say "I need to talk to you" He freaks. And I guess there's a reason why. Bad things follow that saying most times. Maybe now he will assume that's why I postponed the visit. But that wasn't why...



Oh well. I brought it upon myself. Time to pay for it.