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ok from june ta now has been pretty much hell on earth for me it is the 2nd worse year of my life it is now dec... and its almost Xmas there is no money for presents for anyone in the family my arm hurts like hell i have no pain meds ive been in and out of relationships my doctor is stupid and my lawyer is pissing me off i was origianly supposed to get 100,000 dollars but now i am only getting 33,500 because they r settling out of court which fucked up my plans on moving to cali... but anway guys ive pretty much told u all what has happened since my last post so if i can think of nething else that has happened ill post about it as well.... oh and ontop of that ill try to post on a regular basis thanks for reading

while i was living on the streets i met a guy named blake who i became friends with

he invited me into his home with his wife sareys and sareys mom and dad so a month later which wud make it sept i moved in with them and i had the time of my life living with them i was finally free of my family again thinking things are finally going to turn around they became family to me hell turns out blakes wife sareys was actually my cousin by marriage so it was pretty interesting how things turned out then a week went by and i was in a car accident i dont remember that day at all other than before it happened i through my cigarette out of the car window and the next thing i member is waking up in the hospital at 6 30 pm we left out at 11 30 am so i was in the hosptial that entire time i shattered the ball in my left arm and cut an artery above my right ear and i bled out until 15 mins until i left the hospital they finally found it and stitched me up... from what i was told that day sareys showed her mom a piece of paper her mom looked at it and ran off the road at a place thats called devil stairs heh the night before our accident there was another accident same exact spot and then after our accident there was about 6 more wrecks in the same spot needless to say i ended up back home with my family in hell....

After the house burnt down and all i tried living with my family in a bunker type area i couldnt do it we argued a million times more than what we used to so i got kicked out i had no where to go my local friends had nothing to do with me my mom well heh i didnt want to live with her so i didnt

i ended up spending a lil over 600 dollars on a cell phone with internet so i could talk to my fiance at the time... i lived on sidewalks old buildings and all just so i could talk to her with my phone since it had net i spent over 2 grand on motel rooms and food here and there i was kicked out of walmart for using their electricity to charge my phone heh if i only knew what was to come in the near future.... i would of never did any of that i wouldve staying in Pa

ok so my last post i talked bout moving to Manchester Pa with 2 friends and so on right?

well like i ended that post with the phone call from mom... she called me and told me that my grandparents house burnt down... see ive lived with my grandparents since i was 6 months old.. thats another post in its self.. but anyway so my mom called told me that their house burnt down and that the fire started in my room and the only thing i could manage to say is are my sugar

gliders ok? and my mom started bawling more telling me no they didnt make it they never had a chance i fell to my knees and i couldnt think of anything what so ever to say so my mom and i said our goodbyes after her saying she was going to pick me up from pa and bring me back to nc so we hung up the phone and i called my friend letting him know what was going on he was speechless

and then i told my friends online what had happened and that i was moving back home to the hell hole life style i led before moving.. in hope that things where different well it was hard for me to leave i hated myself for it soooo much i was only in PA for a fucking week before i moved back the entire ride home my mom bitched and moaned and complained about every little fucking detail like always and i listened to it for 8 fucking hours then i got home and as soon as i steped foot out of the van hell was unleashed once again... how could i of been sooo fucking stupid to believe that things would be different?

In june my family and i got into a huge argument which lead me to being kicked out onto the streets and i called a friend from manchester Pa to come pick me up so he did and he and his roommate Troy accepted me into their small apartment as a close friend and business partner

i met alot of cool people the time i was in pa i became a bizness partner in a biz called Pre Paid Legal Services i met so many inspirering people that way as well i enjoyed being away from my family and my local friends back home here in Nc i was living on my own as i considered it with friends it was an amazing experience i learnt that i can only trust certain people while i was living there and one day out of the blue i got a phone call from my mom.....

Ok so do you guys remember the blog/s i posted about essy? heh well we was together 5 months and 5 days from april 19th through sept 24th the time her and i were together was rough we had alot of good times and alot of bad times we got engaged we adopted her cousins daughter we was gunna get married on hallowen of 2o1o. and one day on sept 24th i got an email at 3 3o pm saying she passed away at 3 03 am my time... the letter was from her uncle daniel saying she passed away

from enternal bleeding because she just recently had a heart transplant well i litterally just broke down right then and there i lost everything i didnt want to live 2 weeks went by as i cried puked cudnt eat cudnt sleep i resorted to popping pills just to help me sleep so i could dream about her

then one day i was browsing myspace and i happened to find a profile with one of her pics on it... that pissed me off i searched FaceBook for essys page wasnt there so i tried the name shannon which was on that page i just had found on myspace to my surprise there was over 575 pics on her page on facebook so i added her and then i asked essy's friend macy what in the hell was going on and she freaked out saying she had no idea so i waited for shannon to approve my friend request and she did i added sum of her friends who looked alot like essy's friends just with different names and when shannon did add me i let her know what was going on and i told her the whole story and she was really pissed off.. lets just say shannon had more proof of being the girl in the pics than essy did including going on webcam which es never did do shannon and i became good friends since then... so all in all i was stupid for falling in love over the internet cause i was played for that entire time... and essy faked her death just to get away from me which makes me think was i really a father at all did she really adopt the lil girl isobel or was iso really essys lil girl but didnt wanna say the truth or was she just made up like the rest of it... heh the one time my family was proud of me for finding sum1 who accepted me when they cudnt the one time i was truely happy it was all nothing but lies.. needless to say i wrote a song bout it called Crimson Doves about a couple who split and the guy tries to find a way to fix his life and it was all based on a true story and true events im hoping to get the song recorded soon and posted up on my bands myspace page.... but yeah neway like i was saying i am now single and im enjoying it and at the same time im not enjoying it