The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

How do you describe the feeling you get when you finish a book that you are engulfed in? There is an eager ness and delight but a disappointment also, for I have closed this book. Even if I race to the bookstore to pick up the next its not the same to start a book as it is to be in the midst or even nearing the end, And yet there is an excitement about it, for I get to start a new adventure and fall in love all over again, It is so hard to describe that it almost pains me to try. What is worse than that is waiting for the next book to come out. I get this feeling after reading Laurell K. Hamilton Books. I fall madly in love with the characters and there individual personalities. I am for ever shaking my head and wondering what was he/she thinking? Yet never taking my eyes off. It is the first book series that I would got to the book store immediately after finishing a book so I could start the next one and fall in love all over again in new ways. They are the most captivating, interesting, and sexy books I have had the pleasure of reading, From Anita Blake Vampire Hunter to Meredith Gentry Faerie Princess to what ever she can think up next. I hope these books never stop.

I wish I could live one big dream. That seems the only time I’m happily confused. Every one is there doing what I want them to be doing. I still have one of those pills Brooke gave me. I am so tempted to take it and DREAM. Dream like there is no tomorrow…and maybe there wont be, maybe we just live in some one else’s dream… how would that make you feel… I’m sick of being asked that… because I don’t know what I feel I just to and hope for the best.

I want to shout from the mountains, nothing important… anything will do really. I’m sick of dying and that’s all we ever do. I want to live, and I want to know what it is about you that makes it ok for me to send this to you… normally I would have saved it some place that no one could find it… then die some more. I want to be heard and I have so much to say until they listen, ‘they’ as in anyone… I freeze when I’m unprepared and I have terrible stage fright. That’s why I dream…you are all my little puppets, the whole world is.

I want to fix everything, I want to make it all safe. HOW? How can I do that with out jeopardizing every moral that I have, yes I have them… I want that white picket fence with a great husband and two and a half kids a dog and cat…

Then again the feminist in me is saying ‘Umm… I think not’ and the self doubt says ya she right no one could love you, and you think your going to be happy FORGETT IT! So I dream.

I'm leaving on a jet plane, not to return for a while, looking back at what I've done for the pas 5 years I wish I would have done some things diff, but the people I have spent the time with I wouldn't replace for the world, well maybe some ... but u know who u are. I will so totaly keep in touch with everyone that wants me to. So this is my big good-bye, I wish I had some profound words of wisdom ... but I'm only 18 give me a few years. I will miss you all...



There is no such thing as good or bad emotions. They all serve a purpose. They are there to protect us, to guide us, for us to understand and to grow.

xoxo Jenn

Properties. Marijuana and hashish come from the hemp plant, cannabis sativa, which grows throughout most of the tropical and temperate zones of the world. Marijuana is typically sold in the form of cut, dried leaves, stems and flowers of a hemp plant. Marijuana may be rolled in paper and smoked like a regular cigarette, or in pipes. Hashish oil is extracted from the hemp resin; a drop or two of the oil on a tobacco cigarette produces roughly the same effect as a marijuana cigarette. While marijuana is neither a stimulant nor a depressant, it has features of both -- many regard it as a mild psychedelic. Marijuana has been used in treatment of asthma, glaucoma, and nausea caused by cancer chemotherapy. The major active ingredient in marijuana and hashish is tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). The exact nature of its action is not entirely understood, although it is believed to change to a psychoactive compound in the liver. Unlike most other drugs, marijuana components are not water soluble, thus traces can remain in the body for weeks. Some street names for marijuana are: "grass," "Mary Jane," "pot," and "smoke"; marijuana cigarettes are called "joints" or "reefers"; hashish is commonly referred to as "hash".

Last night I sat with a friend and talked about all the good times, how much we have changed and what it to come. Like so many of those convorsations it ended in arguement, not because either of us did anything to the other but because we have different ideals. I want so much for her and shes seems almost happy where she is. I know thats she is stubborn and so am I, but we have learned to live with it and we have become better people since we met.



I have gone through so much with her and wouldnt give anyof it for the world. We can sit and talk for hours about things that we've been though toghter. I have held back from everyone even her, but I have told her more than anyone else, even the person that I've known for twice as long.



I have done some pretty shitty shit to her. Few and far between, and I have talked shit about her, but the moment anyone agreed or said something else I jumped there shit, I stood up for her as much as I could, and I wish I had done so much more.



If I had to do it over again I would do what ever I could to keep us in school blah blah blah, all the would have could have should haves, but I wouldnt trade her for the world, and when she reads this today I hope she knows that all I do for her now, is what I wish I could have done for her before.