The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

How many of you double guess yourselves and the decisions you made? I swear humans are the first living paradox or conundrum to exist. We are also redundantly consistent day after day. Guess this is what comes to be when a soul gets comfortable but what about the few who have a wild flame within them and are not satisfied with "just being"? There seems to be this riled stir in me as of late in just about everything from relationship to waking up in general. I can't help but feel as if I am missing something, that nagging void. Complex, Humans should be birthed with manuals. Then, I could know what it is I am to do or not do. The flare just is not thriving as I wish it to, and though I look daily to find answers, to feel as if everything is finally whole - Failure ends up being at the end of the day. For instance, it is not enough to just love - I want the "in love". I want the unstoppable fury of enslaved passion where you just cannot get enough, you become inseparable....You become the ultimate reason for the other to exist - To wander this ridiculous and unorthodox life in Society together with a sassy heart and sarcastic face when others stare. I do not wish to be "common" - I want bold, wild, crazy - In the spur of the moments. Love making to mean something, eye contact to make each other shiver. I desire to work in a place where a job is meaningful, pleasant...not a dread or a weight at the start of my day. There is just so much we simply "settle" for in our everyday lives. Conscience or not, humans act like bots no matter how hard we try not to..there is always some falling of routine that we get stuck in and it seems to continue in cycle. Where is the breaking point?

The dark grays of the sky have finally passed by and small rays of sunlight illuminate through tinted glass of dust and beauty today. The crisp air of Spring trickles and lingers as my eyes close trying to tame a heart I locked into a slumber for so long. The inferno within my core rages while my mind tries to grip the leash and have control. Desire, Man's gifted enemy. Fault lines about to cave in and without a safety net to catch the falling. Unorthodox, captivation without a face. Still, the want, the affliction of lust, haunts me and causes a restless sauntering of my soul. The battle of my mind commanding my feet to stay grounded and yet the body aches for release. To be able to run and never worry of the path. Will the touch cause my mind to submit, will it bring my body a rush of pain, or my heart to end up wilted. Agony within tantalized seduction. A mockery of what I led myself to believe, I need stay alone. Harboring visions roaming in my dreams, I can taste the salt etched lips. Nightmare or pleasure, that is yet known, surfacing conflictual warps of my on sanity. Judgement comes soon as his eyes pierce my own. It is there I know I will cower, I will tremble in the spite of past. Wandering, waiting, hoping. Will he grant me wings or condemn me to my own inner prison? Time tells all.