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Wanting to cry... is wanting to put pencil to paper, and nothing coming to mind. Looking over past unfinished art projects that I want to touch up, and not being able to move. I have not drawn in so long...



Nothing but memories of having my daughter next to me playing and cooing while I worked on the last thing I put on paper ever... Having her come to me and try to draw on it so I let her go at some scrap paper on top of it. Having her draw and pain beside me... was a little while before she turned 2..... She'll be 7 soon, and that's how long it's been since I've bothered to try a canvas...



This petrified feeling, is overwhelmingly painful.



Slow insanity.

Alone with my thoughts, as realizations of unfortunate things come.



So be it.