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Slain's Journal


Slain's Journal

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15 entries this month
 

fuck...

09:02 Jan 26 2017
Times Read: 669


Well that was a delicious bout with food poisoning this morning.



Also, the most memorably painless of up-chucks in my entire life.



FML.

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Anaksha
Anaksha
21:57 Jan 27 2017

I'm sorry hunny :***(((((





 

Holy. Mother. Fucker.

03:04 Jan 25 2017
Times Read: 700


What the flying fuck is with people insinuating shit when it comes to me?



"Have a good convo, later."



Are you fucking serious?



When I am busy, I say so. When I am not busy, I am fairly talkative.



The very idea that I could tell you to fuck off and that I don't have to explain shit to you IF I were to be fucking busy elsewhere, is understood. So why push me to the point of me ever having to say it?



-__-



Is this jealousy like a motherfucking theme this month or what?


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Very strange

07:20 Jan 24 2017
Times Read: 717


Almost like I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight. 7 hour shower... thus far.


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Proof.

01:21 Jan 24 2017
Times Read: 727


Sighs



When you really want something, and nothing and no one is actively opposed to you having it... you'll always find a way.


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Whore

20:32 Jan 23 2017
Times Read: 751


Well then! That's going to prove fucking amusing.



Let the motherfucking snide comments, deflections and sarcasm begin.



Cunt.




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21:42 Jan 21 2017
Times Read: 782


Sometimes, I wonder if those that keep an acquaintance with me actually pay enough attention to know what irks me in the slightest.



A rude, condescending greeting made based on a misconception and willful ignoring of past grievances, just to please your own ego, is a swift way to find me perpetually sarcastic and trigger happy.



Y u so mad doe? :: smirks::

COMMENTS

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Positivity
Positivity
21:48 Jan 21 2017

You? Sarcastic? *gasp* Never! :D





Slain
Slain
22:12 Jan 21 2017

Heh.





xSatansBitchx
xSatansBitchx
04:47 Jan 22 2017

I was thinking more along the lines of Slain trigger happy? Nah ;)





 

16:42 Jan 16 2017
Times Read: 799


I never would have believed

that I mattered to someone that much.



Eggshells... Motherfuckers.



:: smirks::


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and God sprinkles drama on Slain like....

21:19 Jan 14 2017
Times Read: 857


"Tell your girlfriend that there is really no reason for her to visit my profile."




COMMENTS

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VvvLilithaVainvvV
VvvLilithaVainvvV
21:35 Jan 14 2017

LMFAO Love the picture ^_^





LucieferHighCrown
LucieferHighCrown
22:35 Jan 14 2017

MWAH :D





 

... and I still do...

15:29 Jan 12 2017
Times Read: 878


Butterfly Kisses...

00:17:40 - Jan 13 2015

Times Read: 542





Yesterday...



She sat there, toiling away, so focused so determined. I watched as I sat behind her. She worked away on the coffee table as I shaped a piece of clay as she had asked of me. As we sat there, I put on soft music that she'd know from listening to it for so many years before. All having to do with her.



One of the songs finally got to me, and tears rode my cheek as I silently worked away, still watching her. She stopped and looked up at the source of the song and cried out "I love this song! And I LOVE butterfly kisses!" I chuckled and a tear sped down my hot skin. She turned around and looked at me, and I quickly tried to wipe it away and smiled at her. She stood up, and just read me. Looked right through me... she saw all of the pain i was trying to hide. I couldn't say a word. Her eyes just said to me, "I know you need me..." And her lips smiled as I heard that sweet familiar voice. "And now, I'm going to give you, a bunch of them!"



My heart leaped, I gasped for air and thanked god that she was so much faster at climbing my lap and embracing me tightly, than the cascade of tears that was struck from my eyes at that moment. My glasses instinctively removed as I dried my face and her angelic eye lashes touched my skin as she hugged tighter. She was oddly silent... and I was shaking. She felt it. Snuggled tighter... curled up and just lay there, on me. clinging to my neck... closing her eyes, as Butterfly Kisses was coming to an end.



That eternity only lasted about an hour, her holding and whispering "I love you, Dad. I love you so much and I miss you.", every time she fought sleep and her grip around me answered by getting just a bit stronger.



I could have died like this.



...



I wish I had.


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VvvLilithaVainvvV
VvvLilithaVainvvV
21:35 Jan 14 2017

Awwww That was so amazingly sweet!!!! You should show this to her one day when she is older.





 

14:08 Jan 10 2017
Times Read: 898


Listening between the abyss of music and the lull of silence, the ocean seems vast. What is it? What's in it? Why is it so large? Why does it rage to knock me from the shore? It leaps beckoning my body to enter it. Should I?



Thoughts are the ocean. What do they want of me? The beat upon me, to and fro, soaking me with doubt and fear. Why do they make what is eons away seem so near?



This beached world is my jungle no longer. I tiger Slain, just pace; A somber pain in place of my hunger. My paws? Might ache. The hollow growl tells. My whiskers should linger, beyond time like this odor I smell. Stale, gone nearly but surely done. The beach washes in. Another... quite like me, just one. I near it, its fur mangled, molded and calmly. It lay there, breath gone, I paw at it once, my gods what have I become? I shake my head and body at the realization. That's me. This sordid depletion of tissue to be. What cruelty's behest gave my figure such torment? And what in the world possessed this tiger to dive in the current? But no, the water does not gash. What creature in depths would so slash? My body is murdered, my body here lain. What power hath the will do embark to the shores of my being. What source and what cause pray isn't so simple and plain. I teeter and circle my body, in thought. I whip my tail solemnly, as I look at me; Slain.


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Calming Kind Rage

09:54 Jan 09 2017
Times Read: 930


~Calming Kind Rage~



Blood may trickle

Grave may deep

Safe my heart's sound

next to those I may keep



Strangers attract

and funnier than that

is that friends attack

lacking every form of tact.



Truth may fickle

skies may seep

Safe my heart's sound

next to those I may keep



Your bite I have

I'll be careful with that.

Your smiles I learn

next to the spacing of fact.



Hope may little

Lies may brief.

Safe my heart's sound

next to those I may keep



Death knows me better

with each passing day

Safe is my hearts sound

as it pulses away.





The truth lies torrent

within my heart you can't view

Insanity. Craze. Crying in torment.

List my blessings? Why? FUCK YOU.



My anger it seeps through the world of the living

as my skin lies in ruin, and I hate myself breathing!

I'll hate all of you for the love you all faked.

And I'll stand o'er your bodies after having you staked.



Do the pretty rhymes make you smile

do they make you feel better for spending the while?

I'll pour out my thoughts, like the river of blood

And you'd watch me bled dry, with no remorseful thought.



I started this feature with a calming sort anger

but it would seem failed, as my rage wins the gander

I may hate too much for you fools to feel good.

But I fucking fuck dare you to answer is there love where you stood?



I don't know what's opened these floodgates within me.

This hating, this loathing this heart wrenching envy.

But I do know that this.... this just may finally free me.

So cleanse my heart of the morals I sang.I mean Every.



So I'll practice myself into loving what's near me.

so fuck you... your lies and your reasons.

spare me.

But no. Oh no no. Where the fuck are you going?

You're not getting out so easily after my blood's begun boiling.

You're in my mind now, you're in my head.

You'll forever be my lessons, that's why you are not dead.

So sit! Good girl. Stay! Good boy. Right the fuck where you are.

The scars I now carry prove just how brutal you were.

Aww poor me. Let me stop licking my wounds.

The point is my anger fortifies the strengthening tunes.

Ones that I hear with every kindness afforded.

Towards me by randoms who don't check if they can afford it.

They are the one this really is for

appreciation, praise and maybe a little more.

They remind me I can carry everything, if with but a smile.

even if they stay only a while.



In this shitty universe of destroyed existence

The kind kiss of a cute one, quickly, makes in it all the instance.

and safe the shards of my heart are

next to those I may keep.


COMMENTS

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xxSEXYxx
xxSEXYxx
23:18 Jan 09 2017

That was really deep, Slain. All your stuff is deep, but this especially. I could feel the anger and rage line by line. I could feel the relief at the end. Amazing work. Thank you for sharing this. :)





 

12:38 Jan 07 2017
Times Read: 953


The list of things that I'm not fond of is long if picky, and short of moral.



Getting called a liar is about third from top.



sighs.


COMMENTS

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GatsunoKisu
GatsunoKisu
13:32 Jan 07 2017

I feel the same.





 

11:38 Jan 07 2017
Times Read: 958


It's strange how telling the truth can be so liberating yet cumbersome.



You don't have to carry the memory of what lies you've told, but you have to carry the weight of the guilt others put upon you for being honest.



Eh... I know I'm strong enough for that... so... it's worth it.



What's it worth to you?



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Things rust with tears...

23:21 Jan 03 2017
Times Read: 972


♫ Come with me I'll show you how to be a metal man

When the gears are turning and the fires are burning

When the world ticks around you,

voices tocking all the time

And you live for sleep you've never slept

because you cannot sleep







How'd you like to try pumping

lead through your veins

Or have a heart so wet and cold it starts rusting

When the world ticks around you,

voices tocking all the time

You live for feelings you've never felt

because you cannot feel



And what is this leaking affecting my eye?

Does the oil that is dripping mean this is a cry?

Will I ever be something with feelings to hide?

Or am I just a boiler with nothing inside? ♫

COMMENTS

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Anaksha
Anaksha
23:32 Jan 03 2017

Very beautiful.



And you don't have nothing inside. You're an awesome person. ;)





 

03:25 Jan 01 2017
Times Read: 880


Rocksmith on the computer... color me giddy.



That is one of the most expensive game pads I've ever heard of. hahah. Geez.


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