The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Note: What you are about to read is true.



Funky multi-colored street-dogs strollin' down the street.

Living by the principals of Discordianism, there will be no time for hotdog buns.

The grass is shining gold like beams from the sun.

Audible jodeling from the silent hills.

Eye pops out - feels good man.



"Right there! Right here!"



"Do not reject these teachings because I am crazy - I am crazy because they are true."



"What a beautiful cranium she has!"



"My God... There's fire... niiiiiice"



"She has a fetish for cutlery"



"Waiter! There's flies in my vodka... CHEERS!"



"What chaos is... how do I explain... hmm.. follow me tonight"



"Welcome to the universe of Discordia... I hope you enjoy the ride"



That which is spoken by God-the-Sun is life; that which is spoken by the Devil is death; Abraxas speaketh that hallowed and accursed word, which is life and death at the same time. Abraxas begetteth truth and lying, good and evil, light and darkness in the same word and in the same act. Wherefore is Abraxas terrible.

—3rd Sermon

Toothpaste of misery.

Glancing in every broken mirror.

Pale showercurtain shivering of fear.

The water is cold.



He didn't notice the hammering on the door until he had dismembered his lower lip by the use of nettles and a joyful scissor.



Happy and lipless he ran towards the door - but when he opened it up there was no one there.

Violently depressed he gazed at the empty rainsoaked courtyard and whispered with his childish and cracking voice "Hello... is anybody out there?".



"I am here!" the noices answered.



"I am not allowed to leave the void, you'll have come in. Whoever you are" - he said before closing the door.



"That was odd" he mumbled to himself with the blood dripping from his chin.



He went back to the bathroom and continued his modifications.

He began pulling out his intestines through his rectum using a wrench and his carkeys.

But in the middle of the procedure he was yet again interrupted by a hammering. This time coming from the window.



He immediately dropped everything and ran towards the window with his intestines dragging a trail of bloody septic goo on the floor behind him.



He opened the window and saw a beautiful rainsoaked woman standing outside.



"Who are you?!" he screamed.



"I am a writing desk" the woman answered in a soothing voice.



"I cant leave the void, you'll have to come in. Whatever it is that you want" he said before shutting the window.



He went back to the bathroom and began squeezing bodylotion into the space behind his eyeballs.

He was passionate about his metrosexuality however the silence became too much to bare - he stormed towards the window to see if anybody was there.



When he got close enough to the window he saw a raven sitting outside in the rain.



"What do you want!?" He cried.



"I want to be like a writing desk!" The raven sang.



"I cant leave the void, you'll have to come in" he said.



"I already am" the raven replied - before he flew away.

Somewhere over the mountain tops,

Where the ravens fly and the snow falls.



Somewhere on the bottom of the ocean,

Where the sharks svim and the mud drowns.



A vulgar demi-god stumbles under the weight,

Of everythingness.



My dear,

What have they done to you?



Eloquently decieving you,

With the wit and charms of artistic thieves.



So distorted your face has become,

Painted with hysteria - a potent dialator for your shrunken heart.



Absinthium, Ad Hoc;

Writhing as a delirious worm.



Hammering your eardrums with articulate semen,

Mental masturbation.



Such a fool you are,

Naive, like a child dancing amongst thorny roses.



Don't you know;

Any hungry wolf will show you to the slaughterhouse.



You bathe yourself in spit,

Provided by licking silver thounges.



Forgive me your flavourless tears.

And please;



Accept my sincerest condolences.

COMMENTS

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Isis101
02:52 Sep 10 2012

Cool...and trippy.

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