The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

What is this feeling?

A darkness spilling upward and out,

I’m nearly drowned by it,

Two arms wrap around me,

Fighting with me, for me,

I hear a heartbeat then silence,

You try to help me,

But still I fall…

I whisper your name my only sanctuary,

All night I toss and turn your voice whispering in my head.

“I love you don’t do this.” You whisper.

Your name is upon my lips as I give you my pain filled kiss,

“Depression is all I feel, Lies, Pain It’s all to real, almost like being sliced by a knife…”

“I can make it better…” Tears like a bloody river trail down your face, almost like a sacrifice.

I kiss the tears away unable to stand your pain.

As we both knew your light saw me through and now I need you,

Your touch, Your smile, Your gentle kiss, Your body near mine, Your understanding, Your hopes, dreams, even fears, But last of all I need your heart.

Why is it he always make me cry?

Why is it that I always want to die?

Everytime I try to escape he returns,

The person he used to be,

Then when I talk to my friends,

It all starts again,

The beatings,

The Abuse,

The harsh words no one hears him say,

All behind closed doors,

He's masked,

More than one man,

He claims he loves her,

Yet he stays,

Perhaps all I am,

Is just a personal punching bag,

The bruises on my arms,

Grow more everyday,

So much so that I'm fading away.

It's the darkest night,

As if the stars could no longer shine,

Outside a kid sits on the ground and softly sighs,

A lifetime of tears would soon be wasted,

As the childs parents walked up the driveway,

'Get in the house',

They angerly snarl,

In fear the child enters the house,

Only to come face to face,

With a fist to the face,

Blood drips onto the white tile floor,

Even as the kid tries to stand,

The punch had the kid on the floor,

Before the kid could rise,

His father flung him against the wall,

His time was short,

He felt the darkness consuming him,

With one last slam of his head into the wall,

He was gone,

The mother screamed,

Her baby boy had been killed by a man who,

Was supposed to love him,

The dad turned and smiled,

A knife was pulled and she was soon dead,

By the time the police arrived he was already gone,

Leaving behind only two dead bodies,

But nothing more.

Slowly the past fades away,

Into today,

As I sit alone,

I wonder why so many people choose to leave,

I remember ever since I was little I walked alone,

Shunned from society,

Like some common disease,

I look around me and all I see,

Are books of forgotten poetry,

All of them I had written,

Each dedicated to someone I knew at the time,

Yet now they lay forgotten upon my floor,

I sigh,

Why did everyone leave,

It's as silent as a tomb in this house,

No people,

It's like a ghost town,

Not one car passing by,

Faintly I hear music but,

Maybe I'm just hearing things.

I've locked myself within this room,

Trying to figure out what was wrong,

I leave the room only to come across blood spattered walls,

I scream as I see the bodies of my loved ones all around me,

In the center of it all,

Stands a man dressed in black from head to feet,

'Come child' He beckons me,

I stay frozen in place looking into his golden eyes,

I'm scared and alone,

What have I got to lose I think as I walk to his side,

He lifts me with great ease and holds me close,

Sweeping away all the darkness in my heart,

He leads me away from the blood and into the cool night air,

That plays with my hair,

Yet I wonder is he my guardian angel or my worst nightmare?

It's midnight on a summers night,

All around me is silent as I sit upon a rock in the deepest part of the forest,

Not even the sound of animals can be heard.

Softly I began to sing,

A haunting melody of betrayl,

However,

Still there is no other sound,

As my voice echoes through the forest I shake my head,

All at once the singing stops,

A frightened look appears on my face as I look up,

I lock eyes with a man,

Tall, and strangely handsome,

His blue eyes glitter in the pale moonlight that filters through the trees,

He makes no move to approach me,

And I stare in wonder,

I stand but do little more as the man continues to watch me,

I shiver as a breeze begins to blow.

The mans face is hidden from view,

Yet I can sense he is thinking,

I move closer to him in a curious daze,

And he smiles,

All the fear I felt melting away as if it never existed,

With no spoken words he begins to leave..

I have a choice to follow him, or remain where I am never knowing what things he held deep inside.

I choose to follow,

Though I soon learn the path is long and never easy..

I have gone from a small innocent and happy child,

To a dark person,

My soul is tattered and torn,

And my heart is destroyed,

I remember all the good times but,

Their light no longer pierces the void,

I'm somewhere between life and death,

I dress completly in black trying to hide who I am,

Everytime someone gets close I lose another piece of myself to the black abyss,

People look at me and whisper about the person I used to be,

I ignore them,

Even my friends worry,

I lock myself away in a dark room,

Sometimes the sound of the radio can be heard,

Other times one might hear sobs,

Rocking back and forth on the bed I look around,

Just once I want to be excepted,

Not hated because I'm diffrent,

It's been 3 years since I lost my grandfather,

My parents picked up and left,

Now I have nothing to live for.

Even I know that if I remain nothing will ever be right again,

As I walk outside I hear voices calling my name,

I can't tell if it's reality or a dream..

I head for the lake,

Where I remember how my ex held me close,

I close my eyes and walk into the lake holding my breath,

Water rushes through my open mouth,

I open my eyes and see only black,

I soon stop moving and beneath the water if one were to look close,

They would see the innocence of who I used to be,

Versus who I had become.

Love is seeing someone how no one else does,

Making you able to see both the good and the bad,

Love is when you know someone's not perfect yet you see them perfectly,

Like a clear sky after a storm,

Love is thinking about someone night and day,

Unable to sleep,

Without them running through your mind,

Like the Fire burns the trees,

Love is when they mean the world to you,

And nothing else matters,

And in your heart you know that no one could take them away from you no matter what,

Love is when no one else knows how you feel,

Because you can't explain it,

It just comes naturally to you,

Love is the purest feeling you can feel..

It makes you feel like everything will turn out right...

Watch as the life you had,

Begins to fade away,

Watch as the one you love,

Is slowly leaving you,

They tell you it will be alright,

But inside it's hard to find,

The confidence he put there,

The night suddenly becomes,

The only thing that still exists,

And even that is slowly fading away,

In the end you will find,

You only have yourself,

Because the boy will forget,

Forget the times,

He laughed, he cried,

The times he actually was happy,

Those will be pushed aside so he can,

Do his duty...

In the darkness I wander,

Alone and unafraid,

A little startled,

By the unusual silence as normally it is chaotic,

Still I remain calm,

For I know that at my side,

Walks another,

Someone who protects me,

From a world I have yet to understand,

Around me time moves on,

But still I remain,

In the darkness,

Walking alone.

As I walk slowly through the meadow,

The sun slowly begins to sink behind me casting shadows upon the ground around me,

I'm not alone because beside me walks my shadow a calm part of me that doesn't leave me feeling alone,

As I watch the sky turn pink I smile and continue to walk it's beautiful,

Calm like the waves of the ocean,

No one is around me,

It's so nice watching the sky turn it's mysterious colors before fading into night,

When the stars will fill the sky,

With their pale light,

Twinkling like the lights of a large city,

Even as I walk the moon slowly rises,

A beautiful backdropp against the midnight black sky.

Time stops,

As if by some unseen force,

I am frozen in time,

To face my life as it rushes around me.

I am not afraid but confused,

What should I do?

I ask myself for I cannot move,

My body is locked to the bed,

A quick glance around tells me I am alone,

In the approaching darkness,

The walls seem to be closing in around me,

I shudder violently and then lie still,

I am fearful,

Sweat drips from my forehead landing on the,

Soft silken sheets below me,

I cannot remember who I am,

Or what I was,

Thoughts rush through my mind,

Causing an unceasing headache,

I struggle to free myself from the thing that binds me,

But it is no use,

I hear laughter in the distance and sense my end is near,

With a silent prayer I look up only to see blood oozing from my wrists,

Maybe I should have listened,

Gotten help,

But it was too late I realized,

For the world grew dark,

And my soul was released from my body,

I took one last gasping breath,

And then I was gone.

Pushing back her long silky red hair,

Tempest walked through the door,

What she had seen had caused her great pain,

Her boyfriend had been with another girl,

The dream she had was no more,

She had hoped to marry and have kids with him,

But that dream had been crushed like flowers in a powerful grip,

No longer would she be used,

Down her cheeks tears began to run causing her to tremble and stumble blindly,

Her thoughts were not filled with pleasure nor pain but a black void that began to consume her,

Nothing she did could make it better...

With A sigh she dissapeared,

No one found her...

Or explained that she was loved.

Tell me,

Could you feel it if your heart was broken?

Would you be able to walk away like nothing happened?

Would you regret it?

Of I walked away what would you do?

Well looking back,

If you broke my heart I know I would feel it,

I wouldn’t be able to walk away,

And if I did I would regret it,

If you left I wouldn’t survive…

I will always be there for you…

I reminisce on the past,

So many forlorn memories of,

Friends walking out on me,

Family disowning me,

Followed by,

Depression of the worst kind,

An endless all consuming thing,

A time of peace runs through my head,

Even as I grab the knife,

Four quick cuts and it’s done,

They, Friends, Family, and Schoolmates enter my room only to find my lifeless body,

Laying upon the floor,

The tears they shed I never got the chance to see,

For I had been gone by that point,

Since they never cared I took the easy way out and ended it all unable to take the pain,

Because I needed the suicide.

A child cries alone,

No one bothers to see what is making the child cry,

They don't care if it starves to death,

In so many ways this child is alone,

As the child grows all around him laugh,

He is skinny,

Though it belies his true nature,

He fends for himself allowing no one to come close to him,

He refuses to love anyone,

Even though he would give his life for any child in need,

Deep inside he thinks it's his fault for the pain,

Despite his attempt to hide,

A girl appeared to help him through his troubles,

She was younger than him by a year,

But it didn't matter,

She made his heart leap for joy,

And she gave him hope,

That is until she died,

That's when he lost it,

With an animalistic howl he dropped to his knees and began to sob,

Unlike so many times before he allowed himself to break into pieces,

He was afraid of being alone again,

Isolated,

From a world who didn't even want him,

So he did the only thing he could think of at the time,

He faded away,

No one could find a trace that he ever existed,

Nor could they prove he lived...

For nights he wandered,

Until he eventually passed out to rest until next he was needed.

Things never used,

To be this bad.



People wonder why,

She is so sad.



So much pain,

In those much to young eyes.



The man she loved,

She had hurt.



A year of abuse,

Had only been the start.



Fists and words,

Broke his heart.



A whole year he waited,

He prayed.



One day a ring on the phone,

Her voice he heard.



His heart was torn,

For another he was with.



She cried at night,

Wanting to make it right.



At the end of the night,

She hates her plight.

It's silent within these walls,

This house is completly dark,

No movement can be seen within it,

For it's only resident is lying in a pool of her own blood,

The phone rings and no one answers,

The person on the other end,

Hears nothing but an unearthly silence,

They assume she is asleep,

But the truth is she is dead,

Her skin so pale,

Her lifeless eyes gaze at the ceiling,

As if she had died for it,

A door could be heard opening,

The rush of feet upon the stairs shattering the silence,

The girls bedroom door creaks open,

To reveal to her lovers shock,

Her dead body upon his sheets,

She looked almost like an angel laying there,

But he knew the instant he entered the room she was dead..

His sobs echoed throughout the house,

Even as he fell to his knees on the floor,

He couldn't believe she had killed herself,

He had tried so hard to keep her from doing it,

But she had slipped away from him,

And now he was alone just like he had been just before they had met,

That night he was going to tie the knot,

The ring fell from his hand and he began to shake,

Without her there he would slowly began to wither away,

Days passed slowly after they removed her body,

He hid and refused to move from the room,

Deep inside he knew she wouldn't want this,

But he wasn't ready to face the world again,

As the months slipped away,

He slowly began to leave that house,

Sometimes he could still feel her with him,

Laughing as carefree as can be,

Other times he felt more alone than any person should,

With a heavy heart and pain filled memories,

This man no longer a boy,

Decided it was time to start anew...

She's slowly letting go,

Of the memories of that day,

When they came together,

Her friends always told her,

It would never work out,

But she ignored their words,

And now that boy is gone,

His heart destroyed,

When she left to find,

Them a new home,

Now forever she will,

Be alone,

Unable to love,

Another as fully,

As she did.

So much blood,

Upon his hands,

He was once a boy,

In love with a girl,

But that all changed,

The day he said goodbye,

He looked her in the eyes,

Not a tear rolled down his cheek,

His mind spun,

There were words she could not say,

The two had barely known each other,

Some say it was just a fling,

To the girl there was so much more,

But she did not dare say,

As he climbed into the jeep,

She watched him drive away,

Never again to feel the same.

Your teardrops remind me of rain,

As they fall steadily from your eyes,

You deny that she hurts you,

Though I know the truth for I have seen,

The scars that she left causing me to weep in despair for you,

You say I don’t car but inside I die every time you two are together,

You claim to be alone but you’re surrounded by people,

I spoke of a love so pure,

But you laughed and called me a liar,

Saying that love only brings forth pain,

I still only see your tears and hear the rain falling from a midnight sky,

Deep inside I could feel your pain cutting through my flesh like a dagger that someone uses to kill their lover,

Even as I try to dispel your pain my own slowly begins to overwhelm me,

Forever and a day I will still see your teardrops fall like rain,

To hide the inner pain.

When the sun rises,

We fall to the ground,

Blood staining our hands,

Murders from the past,

Haunt us day by day,

Nothing we do seems to help,

Our internal decay,

As blood falls to the floor,

Death surrounds us like a broken dream,

Still we remain,

Praying the deaths are fake,

And hoping that all that is wrong,

Will soon be right in this world,

Where people die,

And others cry....

Who is she?

The people in the halls of the high school whisper,

Look at her she’s a freak,

All these things could make a person lose it,

She tried to be a fighter,

She was beat,

She tried helping,

But got walked all over,

All this girl really wanted was a friend,

Someone to talk to,

She was 14 though she had been cutting since 9,

She was beaten and abused,

However her peers didn’t care,

She was known simply as the dark angel a soulless being,

She wore all black her features hidden from view,

One night she pulled out a gun and shot herself,

Only then did people care-shedding tears wanting her back,

But now her story lives on in those who are so like her.

Close your eyes and trust the ones you love,

To you they mean the world,

But there will always be one person, who shakes you,

And it hurts when they leave,

You would do anything to have them,

But it’s as if they are quicksand,

Slipping right through your fingers,

You long for them to press their lips against yours,

For a moment you just want to be locked in their arms,

In your soul however you know that you want to stay,

And never leave their side,

But for some reason or another they leave you,

However the truth is,

Like you deep inside they are falling apart because,

They realize you were their everything,

You gave them space when they needed,

Shelter from the storms of life,

Love when they so desperately needed it,

Courage to face their toughest fears,

A life when they had none,

Never will they admit these truths aloud,

But it is written across their faces,

Like the pages of a book,

Maybe without your knowledge one day,

Your significant other will return,

And beg for you to take them into your arms once again,

It’s then you decide are they worth the pain and the shame,

And the heartbreak,

Or are you going to leave them alone,

Like in so many,

Heartbroken songs?

Shadows consumed the dark alley,

In which I walked,

Trying to stop the memories of you and her,

You held her close betraying me,

All that time I thought you actually cared,

All the words between us left unspoken,

As those painful memories swirl through my mind like a raging wind,

I slide the blade over my wrists in a slow almost dazed motion,

Carving your name into my pale skin,

When you enter your room,

The body on you bed is covered in cuts,

That spell your name like a sacrifice I lay there dead,

Beside my body you find a note that proclaims:

Now you know the truth I really did love you, I don’t blame you not one bit. I want you to burn my body and scatter the ashes across the sea where I may still feel free…

Everyone laughs at the girl,

An empty shadow of an angel,

Darkness shrouds her innocent heart,

Until she no longer seems to live,

In her chest her heart ceases to beat,

Then another man walks through the door,

With promises that he will love her,

Until the day he dies,

She is not sure whether she can trust,

Him,

For too many times has she lain awake,

With her heart broken,

She asks herself if she should give in,

Except him with everything within her,

Love him with all her heart,

For every time they talk her,

Heart skips a beat,

She feels weak in the knees,

Never could the girl admit that she has,

Fallen for him,

Because no matter how much she loved him,

His heart belonged to another,

So with the passing days she pretended all was well,

Wishing this man would save her from the pain she feels,

Inside,

Knowing that every minute of everyday brought,

Her one step closer to death,

And one step closer to loosing him,

How had her love turned into that,

Of Romeo and Juliet,

Causing her much pain,

He was her Romeo but she was not his Juliet,

At night he would lie awake thinking of another,

Talking of how he wished to be by this other,

Girls side…

And she the foolish girl,

Never expressed how she felt,

One night,

Deciding that the only way she would be free,

She wrote him a note the contents were all about,

Her undying love for him,

That night when he went to find her…

It was too late,

She was sprawled upon the forest floor,

Blood surrounding her pale body,

That was only made brighter by the full moon,

In the sky…

He found her there..

And realized that she loved him,

His howl of anguish filled the night,

Two girls gone,

What was he to do?

He took her and set her gently on the ground,

Kissed her soft,

Dead lips,

And buried her body along with his heart…

Nothing would ever be said,

This memory never repeated…

Black claws squeeze my heart,

Everything within me screams in agony,

I feel my heart bursting within my chest,

I scream,

Love couldn’t save nothing could,

My friends burst through the door,

Why? Their eyes seem to ask me,

I’m bleeding they see the scars from the past that cover my body,

One friend steps forward,

“Why? ” He asks me softly,

My reply was simple or so it seemed in the depths of my tortured mind,

“I did this all because of you. You didn’t understand when I said I loved you. Instead you walked away laughing.”

Tears slid down my face,

They were blood red and streaky looking,

My body fell backwards and you caught me,

“I’m sorry” you say as I feel your tears upon my face,

It was as if I didn’t hear you…I snuggled closer to you and fell into the eternal sleep of death.

I can hear it calling my name,

Beckoning,

Forever it will haunt me,

That soft chilling voice,

That dark insidious scream,

The love that will never be mine,

To temptation I know I will fall,

And to end end I will break,

And forever alone will I stand...

The rain falls from the sky,

Silent as a shadow,

Covering me,

Hiding me,

Protecting me from the eyes of others,

It is my friend,

And my hated enemy,

It is the tears I cry,

The pain that remains within my heart,

It is my conscious,

Telling me which way to turn,

It is my fear,

Magnified till I can no longer live my life,

It begs me to remain,

Yet pushes me away,

As if angered by my actions,

Nothing I do makes it leave,

For everyday the rain falls,

Upon my head,

My black clothing soaked through,

Matching the way I feel inside,

The rain so like me is filled with an inner turmoil,

A battle for it’s right to remain strong,

It is steady like the mountains surrounding me,

It is dark and fierce when the nights are long,

It has no true form,

Not human,

Not demon,

It is nothing but drops,

Scarring those who dare to challenge it’s whims,

So much like me…

One cannot see within the depths of its shadows,

Never does it stop,

And allow the sun to shine,

To warm the earth,

Allow a rainbow to show,

Just as my feelings will never change,

After having lost you.

As I sit in my window crying,

I remember your touch,

Like a gentle caress,

A deep longing for you spreads throughout my body,

You hurt me once how can I trust you not to lie again?

I drown myself in painful memories of you,

Because it’s the only thing I can do,

Sometimes I hear you whisper like you used to do,

Your breath warm on the back of my neck,

You always told me it would work,

But you’ve left me with nothing but a hole where my heart used to be.

Sing me a song,

A bedtime lullaby,

I know your leaving me for her,

But please sing me one more song,

I will miss your voice like the sound of soft summer rain,

As you laughed and talked with me,

You’re slowly becoming a painful memory,

I was wrong to think you loved me,

You made me happy then left me in the cold to die,

I told myself I didn’t need you,

But the truth is without you…I just want to die.

Late at night I fall asleep,

Dreaming of your arms around me,

My body pressed against yours,

As we both have sweet dreams,

I dream so vividly,

Of my back against your chest,

After you've kissed my lips,

And told me goodnight,

I feel the strength in your arms,

When I roll over at night,

And bury my face in your chest,

Because i've had a bad dream,

I feel the love you have for me,

Growing each day,

And I know one day this won't be a dream,

You'll be laying with me,

Holding me as you kiss my lips,

The love and memories will fill me with joy,

Once this becomes our reality,

All will be free.

The night was dark,

Painful memories of the past fresh in my mind,

I breathed for you,

That night I made my wish,

To my hearts apocalypse,

I felt incomplete,

That’s when I saw you my dark prince,

You came to me like a moth to flames,

My night’s wish,

You held me in your arms,

My body cold,

Your eyes were full of pain,

It was to late,

There was no hope for me,

To this day you remember,

My night’s wish to die in your arms,

You still visit my grave,

Still place roses upon it,

Still you don’t forgive yourself for my death,

Though you know I still watch over you,

Needing you,

Wanting you because,

You are my night’s wish.

A loner,

A animal friend,

And a predator,

When the nights are dark you run through the forest,

Your fur blends in with the snow falling on the ground,

Even as your golden eyes gleam in the dim moonlight,

A howl of loneliness echoes in the night,

Leading me to your side…

I join you and stand by your side,

For a moment you remind me of someone,

But the vision fades and all that’s left is a young girl standing next to you with silver eyes and a teary face…

It’s Valentines Day again,

To think another year has slipped by,

I think of you on this special day,

And wonder what your up to,

The thoughts in my head whirl,

Wondering if you’re thinking of me to,

Silently I count the minutes,

Until the moment arrives,

When you will call me or just simply come over,

Our laughter will ring through the night,

As we picnic on the beach,

We watch the sunset,

Holding hands,

Both lost in happy memories,

I smile and lean against you closing my eyes…

Hoping this day will last.

Who are you?

You appear in my life out of nowhere,

You make me feel all right even when everything is wrong,

You make me complete as if you’re my other half.

I dream about you day and night,

What is this feeling?

Will you always be there?

A knight with a black rose there to save me…

What if you don’t feel the same what will I do?

I ask myself these questions,

Will you leave me like so many others?

Many thoughts run through my mind…

So many things I can’t say to you for fear of what you’d do.

The only thing I know for sure is that I’ve fallen for you,

Please don’t break me I can’t take it…

I know this is foolish this poem you won’t like,

But it’s all I can do to keep from dying.

I’m lost in agony,

I have no hope to survive,

I see you yet you belong to her,

Bloody tears leak down my cheeks,

Tribute to your selfless lies,

Before my eyes your body fell,

Blood making a puddle on the floor,

So many lies,

I watched with pain filled eyes as they cut you up,

I found you half dead,

The last words you said were:

“I’m sorry about this everything I did wrong…Forgive me.”

I laughed “Forgive you when you hurt me? ”

With that said you finally let go,

For moments I cradled your body to my chest,

My tears hit your cold lifeless face,

I slowly dug your grave,

Then I gently placed you within the soils waiting arms,

I covered you body and on the tombstone I wrote:

Lost in lies you long to own.

That night I walked away with nothing else to say.

The room is cold,

I’m breaking out in sweat,

Trapped in unending nightmares,

Hell is on my heels,

I got to get away,

I’m trapped,

I scream a shrill sound in the impending darkness that surrounds the bed in which,

I sit rocking back and forth my eyes filled with pain,

Bloody tears run unchecked down my pale face,

Even as my lungs labor for breath.

I gasp for air I can’t breathe…

But just as I suspected I’m all alone no one’s after me,

But just as I start to drift away again,

I see it now before me a fiery path,

I walk into it my body going up in flames,

It’s then I realize I was never meant to exist in this world or any other.

There you are standing there,

Your blue eyes glitter as you turn,

And smile at me I close my eyes,

Your face the only thing I see,

Day and night you haunt my thoughts and dreams.



My friends all say you want me,

Then that want turns to need,

I fell in love before,

But you swear it won’t end the same,

You claim you can make my dreams come true,

But so many others betrayed my trust.



You take my hand,

Look deep into my silvery eyes,

“Don’t run” you whisper,

As I felt myself give in,

“I love you” I say,

Giving you love’s last chance.

Everyone asks if I know what love is,

The answer to that is yes,

I knew it a long time ago when I allowed myself to fall in love with someone,

But that someone took my heart and broke it into a million pieces,

With only a few simple words,

My world fell apart,

Like glass he shattered it making it non exsiting,

I felt it and I still do,

It reminds me never to allow myself to fall into something,

I can't escape unscarred,

So if you ever want to know what love is,

Find out for yourself,

Maybe you will get lucky,

And your love unlike mine,

Will last and leave you whole instead of pieces.

Mike’s caress was gentle upon the young girl’s face,

She didn’t think he could ever hurt her,

But in the end he fell for another,

The young girl loved him with everything within her,

His eyes mesmerized her,

Sent heat pooling in her stomach,

He ripped her heart out that night after she admitted her true feelings,

Three little words we can’t be,

Is all he said before he walked away never looking back…

Years later he came back,

Hoping to find his beloved,

What he found made him shake,

She had waited for him,

She had died with her love of him,

Unable to take it Mike killed himself to once more be by her side.

Visions light my life,

A cress comes from the darkest shadows,

Of the abyss,

My mind is in chaos as I lay there,

Vulnerable to seeking eyes,

A mystery,

To those around me,

With eyes of silver,

I stare,

Standing alone in time,

As if it no longer moved around me,

It is then I realize,

I truly am alone,

For nothing,

Can change the emptiness,

Within me spreading,

Like a thousand flames through my heart,

I feel the pain yet do not respond,

Since I rather like the pain,

Maybe I am wrong to view life this way….

You whispered that you loved me long after we met,

I always thought your words had to be true,

Forever,

You said...That we would last forever and more,

I also believed this foolish lie that you told me,

Maybe you believed it to...

Two months after the fact you told me it was over you had found another who was better than me,

Three months later I allowed you back into my life,

Since once again we had found our love,

But again you lied to me,

By taking another,

Now It's a little over a year later,

I still love you and don't want to live without you,

But your to busy telling some other girl you love her,

So you can break her heart as well.

Blades of silver shine in the night,

By us they ignored as we fall to the bed,

Landing atop silken sheets,

Your body covering mine almost instantly,

Your eyes remain open asking permission,

I nod my head and smile,

With one push your inside of me,

When you come to my barrier you stop,

Looking at me with an apologetic stare,

I don't blame you,

And before I can blink you surge within me,

Breaking my innocence,

I whimper in pain as my body adjusts,

Then you move slowly,

Tears sliding down your face,

Landing upon my cheeks,

For you had hurt me,

And this was not something you could bare,

I smiled and lifted my hips,

Urging you deeper,

Then as our lips met the pain faded,

And all there was,

Was our pleasure,

Mixed with love.

She waits for a closure,

That she will not find,

Not in the darkness,

Not in the light,

Forever she will search,

For the truth to what went wrong,

The man who had loved her,

Is now fading away,

Forever on this dream she will live,

Never knowing what she had done.

No longer can I take the pain you put me through,

In my heart I know I will always have feelings for you,

Maybe I will get lucky and some day you will care,

For now I can hide my pain deep within my broken,

Heart,

The time we’ve been apart,

Made me realize with guys there is no second chance,

You almost came back to me,

But of course you changed your mind,

You have told me so many excuses,

I know them all by heart,

But still they rip me apart,

You ignore me as if I was never a part of your life,

But at least now I know what loves all about,

It starts out happy and then ends in a rush of tears,

Truths turn into lies,

It never ends in happiness,

But who said it would?

Hope,

What is it?

Could it be the answer to the unknown?

Can we really hope for anything?

There are times in life when I ponder these questions,

Because sometimes situations seem so hopeless,

I have been crushed by hope,

It holds me back,

But when I hear your voice,

It makes me hope that one day I will meet the one behind the voice of an angel.

She wandered through life,

Knowing little of life,

A shadowy prince came to her one night,

Making her fall deeply in love,

She caused him pain,

Not meaning to,

And with each fight,

She feared they were through,

In her mind the thoughts did race,

For the truth was clear,

She wanted him,

More than life itself,

Even though deep inside,

She burned,

Cried for the things she had done,

Bringing him pain had been her worst mistake,

Now he was given the choice,

To keep his worst mistake,

Or lose her.

I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy,

A boy who doesn't understand,

Or maybe he just want to,

All I am doing is asking,

Praying that he will love me,

His eyes the color of the sea,

When it is stormy out,

Reflect my image,

He speaks not a word,

As if he does not understand the way I feel,

Frustrated I say nothing more,

No more words of love are uttered forth,

As I look into his eyes,

His hair so strange to me,

Long,

Wild and untamed like the spirit running within him,

I could feel his hair sliding through my fingertips,

Though I laid not a hand upon him,

His voice was soft,

In a way almost childish,

I had heard him speak many times before,

We were close friends but I wanted more,

He shoved me away,

Telling me we could never be,

That we lived in two different worlds,

That night I went home,

Saying nothing,

Calling no one,

I took a knife to my body,

He found me..

Laying there,

Rushed me to the hospital then left,

Not caring at all..

As he had other things to do...

The sound of gunshots,

Echoes through the tiny village,

Screams of anguish can be heard,

As the people run from an unseen enemy,

The gunshots continue to be fired,

And more people fall to the ground,

Sadistic laughter can be heard in the distance,

Yet one girl remains standing in the village square,

Within her mind the soft words of her lover echo,

“Don’t worry you shall be safe”

A feeling of warm arms surrounding her filled her mind,

It is then before her eyes,

A man appears with eyes of gold,

He joins in the fray,

Killing those whom had tried to her the girl,

With the night shadows he blends,

And when his body is still it is like the very mountains,

Surrounding them,

With worry for him in her eyes,

She watches him without blinking,

He takes down the enemies,

With an almost feline grace to his movements,

Above him the skies whirl angrily,

In a rage that is his own,

His fury seems to feed the raging storm,

Even as all the attackers fall dead,

He turns to face the girl even as the,

Bodies seemingly disappear,

She runs into the warm strength of his arms,

Once more they are reunited,

Never to separate again.

Your are the ones,

Who see me through,

All the tough times in my life when I need a hand,

The ones who will always be there no matter the problem,

You protect me from the pain,

Telling me all will be ok,

You laugh at my jokes even if they arn't funny,

You are the ones who can make everything right,

Even if it is wrong,

And I can't seem to make it better,

You guys are my friends through the good and the bad,

And like most things in life I will need you till the very end,

When my heart stops beating,

And I fade from this world.

Look at the girl,

The people snicker,

As she walks down the halls,

Her body hidden by a black cape,

A hood pulled over her head to hide her face,

She is a freak,

Come the whispers from around her,

Too different to be one of us,

Eyeliner runs down her face in streaks,

Though she does not attempt to wipe it away,

Her sobs are silent,

But if the light hits just right,

You can see the silvery tears fall from her eyes,

Alone and forgotten,

Everyday she is seen with no one beside her,

No friends to call her own,

If one were to see her without the cape and black shirts,

They would see scars and cuts covering her slender body,

Never do they see her as a human,

She is only 14 but she is still an outcast,

Not even the Goths will befriend her,

The closest thing to a friend she has,

Is a small wolf,

Named Hawk….

Around me the wind swirls angerly,

As if it had been tortured then released,

I catch a glimpse of a wolf in the shadows and shiver,

It slips closer silently,

A flash of lightning reveals it's sleek black coat,

It's eyes hold me captive it's emotions swirling in their dark depths,

Slowly that wolf turns into a man before my eyes it seems,

As the man glides closer I notice fire flashing in the depths of his bottomless black eyes,

I cannot move any longer it's as if he is controlling me though I am certain that's not true,

The urge to run is strong within me but all I can manage is a small sob and a silent prayer that goes unanswered,

He smiles and I know I am lost to the world forever never to return to those I love,

Before I can protest he picks me up in his arms and holds me close as if I weigh little more than a child,

His words promise me forever a chance to live and love and never be forgotten till the ends of time,

Still I do not trust him because in the end I am always betrayed by those closest to me,

I try to struggle but he only holds me closer to him trying to sooth my whirling thoughts,

With sad eyes he looks upon me not wanting me to fear what is to come,

It's then I know he won't hurt me at least not like the others he would die easily for me making my happiness come before his own,

With a sigh I give in not willing to fight him anymore unless he hurts me,

I relax in his arms burying my face in his chest,

Knowing that this is something that will last forever,

And then some.

I have been forbidden to talk to you,

I don’t know why,

Maybe because deep down I lie,

Wanting to know,

To touch your face,

What if you don’t like the way I look?

Will you hate me?

I no longer know what to do,

Because you muddle my brain,

Every time I think of you,

Everyone wants you to be someone knew,

Isn’t it ironic?

That I dream of you,

And still have no clue what to do?

Fear,

All she feels when she sees her father come near,

What eill it be this time she asks herself,

Her body is covered in bruises and cuts,

Her father is always drunk,

She screams as he beats her with the belt,

She flies into the wall when he slams her against the wall,

Yet this girl fights him,

Refusing to give in,

People tell her to end her life,

But like her mother she looks at life as a gift,

Sometimes she swears her mothers light shine down on her and help her survive her fathers brutal attacks,

If her father knew about her boyfriend,

He would beat her worse,

Late one night while he was at work she snuck her beloved into the house,

Her father came home earlier and noted the two watching a movie,

With a glare he headed straight for them,

The boy then stood protectively in front of her,

As her father flew at him with a knife,

It happened in slow motion as both fought for the knife,

Her dad smirked as he plunged the knife into her lovers stomach,

And then turned his gaze to her,

With a desperate attempt to save her,

The boy ripped the knife from his stomach and killed her father,

Quickly she alerted the police,

And drove her love to the hospital...

Everytime she thinks about she knows that she isn't alone anymore.

What is a fate worse than death you ask,

Simple,

Losing you,

Without you my heart would cease to beat,

My blood would run cold,

And I would become a lifeless doll,

Trying to get over you would be like trying to hide in an open area,

Not many things in life are worth dying for,

But you are someone I would easily fall victim to.

More than anything else however losing you…

Would be a fate worse than death.

Fate brought us together,

Now it’s ripping us apart…

Forcing us,

To give in to,

It’s insidious call,

Haunting our every thought,

No longer do we walk together,

But apart in,

A land of 1000 memories,

Brought upon us by the darkness,

Within our hearts,

We long for something more,

Something unseen by mortals,

We pray fate,

Will once again draw us together again,

Even if only for a day more,

So that we may see each other,

One last time,

And ask ourselves Why…

Why us?

Why now?

Why did we drift apart in the first place.

Is it possible to get everything you want in life?

I used to ask myself that everyday until I found you,

And then you became my everything,

I never thought I would like to be with someone so much that I would talk to them 24/7,

Then there was you,

Making me laugh,

Suddenly all my thoughts began to revolve around you,

I found myself worrying that you would get hurt,

Or that I would find out you were just a dream,

Though all along a part of me knew,

That these thoughts were very true…

I chose to ignore them,

And found out you can get everything in life as long as you find the right person to share it with.

The sky has turned black,

Too many times have I watched others die?

My friends look at me with smiles on their faces,

Telling me all will be ok,

But deep inside I slowly die,

Blaming myself for their deaths,

My best friend died when I was younger,

But her death haunts me,

Like a reoccurring nightmare,

Threatening to consume every last piece of my soul,

It is then a few years later that they call and tell me,

My uncle is fading away day by day,

His three daughters don’t care,

Only wanting his money,

I realize that I haven’t spent much time with him,

And all those years that slipped by,

I can never replace,

So hard it hits me,

Cutting like a knife through my very heart,

Sometimes I wonder if I am even alive,

I look to the sky for answers,

But it gives me none,

The choice to choose life over death,

Is before me,

And I don’t know what to choose,

No god can stop the pain ripping through me,

It’s as if no longer can I live,

Even my grandfather,

Died before my eyes,

Oh the pain of seeing him in so much pain,

Only few people I trust,

And when I place trust in them they leave…..

Maybe I should join them…

Pain is ever present within me,

It has a life of it’s own,

It’s no normal pain,

But one of loss,

Throughout my life I have lost Family,

Friends,

Pets and countless other things,

No matter what I do,

To hold them to me,

They walk away…

All I feel anymore,

Is an endless pain?

That can only be stopped,

When someone decides to stay forever.

I sit in the window,

Looking out to see the world,

With a child’s curiosity,

Shadows sneak and creep in the distance,

Bringing the sound of soft footsteps behind me,

I feel two arms wrap around my waist,

I smile and see your face,

The eye in the storm,

My heart,

My life,

All of a sudden my eyes snap open and reality sinks in,

Your not there it’s nothing but a far away dream.

I know better than anyone dreams never come,

True it’s nothing but a lie,

Spoken to little children,

To give them faith in something that doesn’t exist.

Deep inside,

A lonely little girl cries,

In the darkness she is kept,

For no one has found her yet.



On the outside rests a girl,

Dressed all in black,

Hiding her true self,

So that she doesn't get hurt.



The little girl inside,

She begs to be released,

To exist once more,

In the outside world.



The girl on the outside cries,

Little drops of blood,

Splash upon the ground,

She begs for it to end.



The little girl,

She knows it's done,

Never again will she be free,

For on the outside she is dying.



On the outside,

A corpse fell to the floor,

Blood spread around the body,

When the cops came it was too late.



Words were whispered,

Upon the wind,

'This was my fate,

And thus is my end.'

No longer can I feel the pain,

I’m numb,

Dead inside,

With my large gray eyes,

I look around with tears streaming down my face,

Splashing upon my floor soaking into my blood red carpet,

Your lies and betrayal did this to me,

I used to be so carefree and happy,

Now look at me I’ve become so dark,

So filled with rage,

I myself cannot control…

I feel so empty,

Like you left a deep void,

Deep within my shattered soul,

The only thing I can do is cry,

I’m nothing now,

Without you the pain will never stop.

Angels have pretty faces,

But so does death,

The tempt us constantly with loud insidious whispers,

With eyes so beautiful,

And skin so pale,

They lie within our dreams,

Waiting for us to release them,

From their chained boxes of ivory,

They rest there,

Bound till we release their fury upon the world,

They are the darkness that every person carries within them,

The half people fear…

It’s dark outside,

Dark and cold,

I feel left out,

And looked down on,

A void of loneliness is my only refuge,

No light can penetrate the darkness,

I look around with all knowing eyes,

I’m slowly being swallowed,

I embrace death like a long lost lover,

It’s another life for me,

At least in that eternal darkness,

I won’t have to suffer anymore.

You embrace the darkness,

Like the most intimate lover,

I feel it deep within you when you are near,

It’s like a fiery storm trying to escape,

Your focus is shaken,

As you try to control it,

You are torn between,

A world of life and death,

Where you have no choices,

You fear that I am not safe from you…

Though I know you would never hurt me,

Even if it meant having to leave.

When night falls,

Do you know where to turn?

Hiding won't do you any good,

Because they will find you,

No matter where you run,

Their home is eturnal darkness,

They live forever,

and never forget the wrongs,

Done to them,

They hunt their enemies down,

To save their dying race,

I don't blame them,

Do you?

Would you do the same?

To protect those you love,

Or do you only live for yourself?

They know what they must do,

So tell me do you know what,

Must be done to protect you,

And those you love?

Can you look me in the eyes,

And tell me you wont try to stop them?

Will you run from them,

When they come?

Or am I wrong and you,

Havn't done wrong..?

My friend I hope I don't find you,

Gone from this world,

Taken by these creatures,

Simply because you...

Hate them.

When I was younger I remember walking around school,

But one day behind the school I saw a boy crying,

I approached him and knelt before him,

What is wrong? I had asked,

He looked up revealing scars on his smooth face,

I reached a hand out to him and smiled,

He looked at me with frightened blue eyes,

And I whispered softly,

Don't be afraid I won't hurt you,

He was older than me by a few days,

But I couldn't leave him there,

So taking his hand I led him to the swings,

And waited for him to speak,

With a trembling voice filled with so much pain,

He slowly began to tell me,

About how others abused him,

Not caring about him one bit,

At this I hugged him tightly and sighed,

From then on we became friends.

It’s funny how,

One day you’re in diapers,

And the next your older,

Slowly you began to realize,

That as we get older,

Life becomes harder,

Because life is no longer fun and games,

But hard work and suffering,

In life you meet many people,

Some leave,

Some stay,

But in the end what it really comes down to two things,

Living,

And Dying.

I see it now all so clearly,

Again I have been lied to,

But instead of crying so much like I want to,

I run into the forest where I feel at home,

The night calls to me,

And a small breeze caresses my face,

I close my eyes,

And all my memories of you flash through my mind,

A single tear slides down my cheek,

Landing on the soft ground below my feet,

I am calm and collected unusual for something this big,

My parents are out,

And I am alone,

But that's ok I need to think about your sudden betrayl,

I thought you could do no wrong but,

Look what you did,

I can't even walk away unscathed,

Even now I am losing another piece of myself,

I stand still your words of pain haunting my very thoughts,

The more I think,

The worse it gets,

Around me I can hear the animals of the forest,

Softly making sounds as if afraid of me...

Agonizing pain rips through my soul,

Once again I was betrayed by someone I love,

I should have known,

You would lie,

That your promises were not true,

But now I see,

The things my friends say are true,

You did nothing but lie,

Kissing other girls,

Just to watch me cry,

In the end you realized it wasn't the right choice,

You wanted me back,

But it was much to late,

For I was too broken inside,

I would not be able to handle,

Your lies anymore,

So with a single red rose,

I left you standing there,

Tears falling down your face,

As you watched me walk away.

My room is blacker than the night,

I can’t hear a sound,

Because there is no movement,

Out of the darkness,

You slowly appear,

Bathed in a shining light,

It is almost as if the sun surrounds your body,

For I cannot see the person,

Within this magical aura of light,

I sense a kindness emanating,

From you as you hold out a hand,

Quietly I take it,

And for a moment I believe you smiled,

With no farther words you make us disappear,

You whisper to me,

To hold on to my life,

Not to foolishly end it,

You show me all the good things I have to live for,

With that we appear in my room,

And slowly you fade away,

Not leaving a trace that you exist,

I return to my bed and think about all you said,

I pull the knife from under my pillow,

And set it on the dresser,

As I fall asleep that night,

I realize I have an angel to watch over me.

It’s dark outside,

Rain is falling from the sky,

Like the teardrops of a broken heart,

Your parents have been drinking again,

I see it in the bruises upon your face,

You tell me that you are fine,

But I still see your hidden pain,

It lingers in the depths of your blue eyes,

I sigh and with a gentle fingertip,

I trace the bruises,

Maybe I shouldn’t worry,

I can’t help it though,

You’re my world,

My everything,

And in my eyes the bruises,

I see them continue to hurt you,

More than you might like to admit,

I also know that no matter what,

You won’t turn out like them,

Because you’re just not like that…

Who is this girl I see,

Looking in the mirror,

She's staring right at me,

The eyes I don't know,

The pain it all shows,

Every chance she gets,

Is just another big hit,

Alone she stays,

Wonder who she is,

Coming to the conclusion,

That forever she will stand there,

Looking the mirror,

Wondering who that girl is,

Looking back at her.