The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

A guy walks into the local welfare office for his monthly check. he marches straight up to the desk sits down and says, "hi. you know, what I just HATE coming in here drawing welfare month after month. I'd really much rather have a job."



The welfare worker behind the desk says, "your timing is excellent, we just got a job opening from a very wealth old man who wants a chauffeur-bodyguard for is nymphomaniac daughter. you'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes, because of the long hours, meals will be provided. you'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. you'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. the starting salary is $100,000 a year."



the guy says, "you're joking!"



The welfare worker says, "yeah, well, you started it."