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I've been getting the sleep that I need. But latley I only dream of a eturnal sleep. Where everything is perfect and nothing goes wrong. No one sings a sad song. The more I dream, the more I want it to come true. Because I'm tried of all the abuse! I'm tired of doing nothin right, and everyone beinning mad in my sights. So, to stop all that I do wrong, for the last time, I'll sing my little sad song. Close my eyes and go to sleep, and stay in my eturnal perfect dream!

In the center of my soul, it's blacken. Over the years it has darken. Which I don't know why. I no longer want to die, but the pain's still there! My core is just a liitle darker than the back of my hair. I thought all of these feelings would fade. but I guess that's just another mistake that I've made! The anger hasn't changed. I still have the same old stitches in my heart! it was nearly torn apart. Maybe the pain I thought ws gone is just represses. And I'm still just depressed!

It's time to put on a happy face! But being happy isn't the case! It's nothing but a lie. Hidden behind this smile, are the tears that I cry! I can't let them know that my happiness is untrue. I don't want them to know my ''boo-who''! This trick that they come around, I put on a show, just like a clown. I can't let them know my smile is turned upside down! but it's okay. It's getting eaiser everyday. And I leave no trace for them to find, the maske I hide behind!

I am the Queen of all darkness. I am what makes your ignorce bliss. I am the cause of your nightmares. I am what you're afraid to share. I am the monster under your bed! I am everything you dred. You know when I'm near.Because I'm the noises that hear. I make your blood run cold, when I come for your soul! I am pure evil. The Devil has nothing on me. I give you gift, but leave you with a curse. i'm what makes everything worse. I'm the thing that goes bumb in the night. I'm still there when you turn on the light. They have no name for me, but one. I am the Queen!

Her blood wet my body as if it were rain. it may be insane, but it leaves me young. I may take her innocent soul, but it makes me beautiful. I look up as her virgin body was full of holes. I watched as she ran into the spikes in the cage. her screams helps lessen my rage. I bathed in her blood as if it was holy water. And when I'n done with her, her body will bath in fire. No matter, her innocent blood, makes me happier and prettier then what I was.

I feel something at my back. I turn slowly, and I see nothing. I hear a strange voice, wispearing my name, in my ear. There's no body around me, but the wispering's getting louder, and clearer. I walk into my room. Scard about what i'll find. The moons light shines through my window and lights a large squard on my ceiling. Shadows of trees design the square. As I look closer to the moving shadows, I notice branches are turning to bones. Bones that are shaped into hands. my heart Starts pounding to where it hurts my ears. And it's all I could hear. I turned on the light thatb was on my night stand. My eyes are taken to my bedroom floor and I notice blood leading to my bathroom door. As I walk along the blood, the wispering calls my name again. before I open the dooe, I had to count to ten. I scream as I look in my tub, and my legs give out as they went numb. I look stright into the eyes of the girl that lies with her wrists cut right. her eyes have no life in them, that's when I knew she was dead. I dropped my head into my hands. I cried into them, and the tried to stand. but my knees were to weak to hold my weight. I thought to myself, how could I escape? my heart was pounding in a very fast pace, as I looked myself and Death stright in the face!

What is this darkness that I feel all around me? Why is this happening? Where does all her hate I feel, come from? All that thoughts up in her head are saying, "Kill, Kill!" Pictures of blood slowly running down my face. Then suddenly she hears my heart at a slow pace. She punches her hand through my chest, feeling my ribs break. She squeezes her hands around my dying heart. All I can do is shake apart. As I look into her eyes, she smiles and kiss my lips. She whispers into them, "I'm nothing more than your darkness!"

Were you thinking about her when you're arms were around my waist? Did you say you love me back because you really do, or is that not the case? Did you not have the guts to tell me, that you wanted to be with someone eles to my face?

Yes, it would have hurt. Yes I would have cried, but at least I would had known the truth. And I wouldn't have poured my heart out to you and waisted both of our times.

Why did you have to make me think that you still wanted me? Why did you have to make me think that you and I were a possiblity? why oh why do I have to cry? Why oh why do I even try?

But if she's who you want to be with, then go! I'm not going to make you stay. And I'll just won't let you know that I'm wanting you in every way!

Fuck all this bullshit, fuck all this pain, fuck this life I'm living, it's alla fucking game! All I ever do now is cry. No matter how hard I try to hold back, the tears, they fall anyways. Poeople say that love is the answer. I say that all love is, is cancer. it spreads and causes. And there's no way of stoping it! I've tried to wash it all down with pills and water. To deal with all this love-pain is getting stronger and harder. To this emotion that everyone calls "love", I say suck a dick. I say fuck all this love bullshit!

Is it normal for a young teenager to feel all this shame? I look at life as a game! I don't think anyone in this world could tame my pain. Many have tired, none have succeded. Wondering if I'm even needed.

People tell me that I can't feel a curtain way. And when asked, I have nothing to say. The person that I would run to has been taken away. Is it normal for a young teenager to wish to die every day?

I have cut and scatched myself so many times that, that kind of pain doesn't phase me. Is it normal for a young teenager to think this is the way her life will always be?

And if so, then I don't want to live. I don't care what I have to give. Because I don't think it's normal for a young teenager to feel all this pain. Or to eve think all life is, is a game. I'm tried of all this shame!