.
VR
SilentBlackRose's Journal


SilentBlackRose's Journal

THIS JOURNAL IS ON 53 FAVORITE JOURNAL LISTS

Honor: 0    [ Give / Take ]

PROFILE




2 entries this month
 

Old Introduction

22:17 Jun 28 2009
Times Read: 659


Time and time again I have updated this profile and time and time again I redo it. It is a constant battle of trying to make it out to what I like. But it never seems right. An alignment may be off an image down, or a misspelled word (which I am famous for). I never have understood this part of me that always must be changing and changing, I am like this in real life as well. I try to write things that I think people would like to know and things that I am comfortable telling others. Something I believe are better off left to oneself or at least the people that matter to you the most that you should tell.



I have been on the rave for more than a four year and yet I still have not found what I am looking for, I have found tons of friends that I care about, tons of information but not yet what I am looking for. I joined the rave because a friend wanted me to and told me that it was a great place, It has been a great place yet there is so much petty bullshit that happens on this site. I remember when the rave had no dominars, no societies and no fancy portfolios. The rave has come a long way as have I.



I have become a mother and a wife, a student, and many other things why my stay on the Rave. Yet there seems that is something missing that I can not identify yet I still search. I am not looking for someone to come to me and tell me that what you are looking for is me, or your changing, or anything to do with that. I am not a vampire and do not wish to be one, I am a great human with tons of problems and I am okay with that. I am Renee, I am twenty-two as of May 24, 2009.



I was once scared to grow older because when you start to age it seems that life is telling you that there is no reason to continue trying you will get chubby, start to sag in a few places, and loss a few things that once where so important to you. (Such as you sexual drive.) My mother died on May 15, 2006 and my world fell apart, she was the most important person in my life. Now the pain has dulled and other things have came into my life that have in some way have filled my heart. I still love her but not more than life anymore.



I had a baby girl on December 7, 2006 and she changed my world. Well she changed it way before her birth but she has made me respect life and everything that is in it. I got married to a wonderful man on October 20, 2006 and he changed my world. As of August 28, 2008 I have a son!! His name is Kaleb and his is the sweetest thing. I am pregnant now and am due to have my third child on December 2, 2009.



I used to have a hard time with trust because when I was younger I fell in love with a sweet woman and she broke my heart, she cheated on me with one of our friends. So I had a hard time caring for anyone. Bruce (my husband) gave me time to step up and choose to start are relationship. He never forced me but gave me the chance to let my heart lead me and it did.



2006 had ups and downs yet on the Rave I lost what I was looking for. I stopped reading the forums because I just couldn't stand all the bullcrap involved in there. There are threads that are just annoying and down right dumb. 2007 came around and life changed again my daughter started growing and needing my attention so I stopped really paying attention to the rave. I stopped gaining favor and stopped rating. I have gone from a Necromancer to an Incendiary and Wyvern. My goal on the rave is to meet people and to learn more about Vampires and other supernatural creatures and also to start expanding myself.



I have written all this simply because that is what was sitting on my heart and needed to be released. I am not interested in spell checking this because honestly it is a real big part of me, I suck at grammar and spelling. (Plain and simple). Honestly I am not sure what you want to know... My likes range from Classic to Down Right Nasty. The people in my life that mean the most to me are My Daughter, My son, My Husband and my mother (deceased).



I enjoy the colors black and red and love skittles. I enjoy a good song by Guns N Roses or a slow song by Akon. I am a supporter of Animal Rights. I believe that you have the right to make choices if it be a bagel in the morning or an abortion in the afternoon, those are you choices not mine. You have the right to do anything that you want you are your own person and no one should control you life. I believe that everyone should be equal, blacks, whites, Mexicans, gays, straights, and transsexuals. I believe in love and that no matter you should be allowed to marry whom you wish to. I think that people should sometimes stop and think before they speak. I hate these things with a passion, when someone stamps my portfolio, when someone is doing their job if it is on the rave or off you should respect them.



Faggot that word should be erased from the face of this earth; people who use this word show that they have no brains in their head and can not come up with a good way to insult people. I hate when people message me and ask stupid questions that if they had read my profile they would have been able to find. I hate when people message me with “sup dude”, at least type in proper English.



I just simply am not sure anymore what to make my profile into. I hope that what you have read is sufficient, because it is what came from me and no other, it is the truth and nothing more than that. Not some glam story to make you want to read it, but simply the truth about me and what I feel and believe. I don’t care about a rating, I don’t care that you dislike me, I don’t care that you think that I am slow or illiterate for I am me and no other.

COMMENTS

-



 

My writing. Please feel free to read but No stealing!

00:02 Jun 18 2009
Times Read: 672






I am a freak, a nymphomaniac, an abomination of sorts. A body that yarns with need and never quit at rest. A dream of a phallus and a throbbing pearl and an unquenchable thirst for the sweet release. No longer will I touch myself in a way to make a goddess blush to quench my undesirable thirst in a matter of my lust. My thoughts are always occupied by this dark shadow never to see past into a true enlightenment. As steady throb always lurks to raise its head when you draw near. A slick wetness always present even in the driest of situations. I wish to be absolved of my dark cloak and adorn a simmer to match the sun, to no longer long for a touch of figure tips. To be slick only when the time bids and to stop thinking of these thoughts and be more than this has made me. A stuttering fool, a butt of jokes, and a thorn upon the steam of a rose. I am a freak, a nymphomaniac, an abomination of sorts, for I am a mess.







I dream of freedom for these chains to be absolved of this curse to long no more to be whole. I wish to be more, more than what I am, more then a throb or a moan, more then a blush in the shadows. I wish for release of this silver chain to stand with wrists and ankles unbound. To stroke and stimulate a pearl that should remain at hidden. To be no more the slave to this desire.







A dream I have at the peak of night of my king arousing my queen to rule with might over the unruly peasants. To make them cry in surrender or of the toll they must pay. To spend their coin in exclamation of what has been, and what to come.







For I am a slave to passion and a slave to release.







I have wished upon the white rose a prayer of virtue, a prayer of solace. I have conquered my affliction only to be afflicted with another. The affliction of remorse, for I miss my throbs, my cries, my blushes in the shadows. I miss your kiss, your stroke, your coin of release. I weep tears of sadness for I am without what makes me, me! I am a Freak, a Nymphomaniac, and I am the abomination. I am the thorn, the throbs, the cries, and the blushes. I am the throbbing pearl, the ripe fruit, and I am yours.




COMMENTS

-



LifesHermit
LifesHermit
00:20 Jun 18 2009

Such dark beauty - you are truly gifted. Thank you for sharing.








COMPANY
REQUEST HELP
CONTACT US
SITEMAP
REPORT A BUG
UPDATES
LEGAL
TERMS OF SERVICE
PRIVACY POLICY
DMCA POLICY
REAL VAMPIRES LOVE VAMPIRE RAVE
© 2004 - 2024 Vampire Rave
All Rights Reserved.
Vampire Rave is a member of 
Page generated in 0.0524 seconds.
X
Username:

Password:
I agree to Vampire Rave's Privacy Policy.
I agree to Vampire Rave's Terms of Service.
I agree to Vampire Rave's DMCA Policy.
I agree to Vampire Rave's use of Cookies.
•  SIGN UP •  GET PASSWORD •  GET USERNAME  •
X