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So I am playing hookie today. I don't do it often, but it is sometimes necessary. Today it was a day I needed it. For some reason last night my legs kept cramping up and I would have to get up and work out the muscle. When I woke up this morning I could barely walk. So today was a good day to take off from that place. If you read my rant yesterday... thats just a small bit of why that place sucks. I know I shouldn't complain because lots of people don't even have jobs and I'm thankful I have one but wish often I could find something that didn't stress me out so bad.

Ok so those who remember my old profile are probably wondering where the heck I've been and what I've been up to. Well not too long ago my fiance left me. And I'm still coming to terms with that. I'm trying to move onward and foreward which seems so easy for some people, but not for me. I put so much of myself into the life we shared together, that I lost sight of myself, which was my own mistake. Now I'm trying to find out who I am all over again. Because now I find myself in a place I've lived in for over a year and I don't know anything about it. I never really took the time to meet people or go places. I wrapped my life too tightly around another's. I spent a year of my life working and coming home to take care of the apartment, and be with him. Now that I'm on my own, alot of my time is open. And I have to figure out how to fill that time. And find out what I like and don't like. Because now that everything is so different, I feel very lost and confused.



I'm slowly starting to make friends at work, so I'm becoming more social than I was, but I'm trying to find a way to fill my time when I am alone.



I used to not mind spending time alone, I actually relished it. but now when I'm alone in my apartment, I feel hollow and empty. And I get angry and try to push away the people I care about because I feel as though I am doomed.





But I know as time passes I will find myself again, and find happiness that is not dependent on other people.

I took a break from being online, and so I created a new profile. Im not sure exactly what to do with it yet but I'll figure something out