Fairy Tales01:45 Nov 17 2009
Times Read: 532
Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow. Mary decided to take the lamb to school one day, and all the kids pointed and laughed. So she got angry and took the lamb home and slaughtered it. She knew she couldn’t go eat supper with blood all over her because her mother would complain that she was staining the white carpet (also made out of lamb fleece), therefore, she went off into the woods and thought of Hanzel and Grettle and hoped she’d find her long lost friends. And honestly, she was hoping to meet this witch, because to her, she sounded like a pretty cool chick, I mean, who would have thought to make a ginger bread house?!
Along the way, she saw this little girl with blonde curls running out of this tiny cottage with her hair all matted and something that looked like oat-meal all over her mouth, with three men that were the size of bears looking at her longingly through the upstairs window. Who knows what she was doing!!
Walking briskly so that she wouldn’t be noticed… She ran until she saw two wolves dancing… One in granny pajamas and the other was so bloated it looked like he had just consumed three pigs. They must be gay, she thought. Adverting her eyes from this merriment, she caught sight of a rock wall. Curiosity struck and she went to it with cautious steps. That is, before she noticed a man sitting on the top right hand corner, and believe it or not, he was humping the wall! Staring in amazement at the man’s desperation and audacity, she saw him fall off! Suddenly, a whole bunch of horses and men rushed to help him up, they were draped in royal attire that made her think of a king. She had no idea why they would help someone that was humping a wall, and to be frank, the man looked like an egg.
Scurrying faster through the moss covered trees, she entered a world of… kids? They were everywhere! She’d never seen so many children in one place in all her life! And apparently they had to use the restroom pretty badly because they kept looking around shouting “PP!” and “Tink!”. Shaking her head miserably, she diverted her path so that she wouldn’t have to pee as well.
And then, she wished she hadn’t. She ran right smack into well, a beauty queen. Seriously, she looked like some sort of princess. When she turned, Mary got a glimpse behind her and there were more! One that could have been a mermaid with bright red hair, one that was talking to a bunch of animals with black hair, one seemed like she had been a servant of some kind with blonde hair. And little miss blondie in front looked like she’d just woken up from a long slumber. They were all talking about some man name Prince so obviously they were whores.
Darting around to retrace her footsteps, Mary dashed home. She didn’t care if her clothes were still splattered in gore, or if she never found her friends or the witch that trapped them. She needed to get out of this mad place, and quickly! Screaming with fright, she woke up. Dripping in sweat, she searched around her moon-lit bedroom and found a magazine next to her pillow. A lamb farm. She had fallen asleep looking at an advertisement for lambs.
COMMENTS
-
LordOfNoctemAeternus
20:44 Nov 20 2009
thats hot