The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I should be a mom, one way or another....but because I was so afraid...afraid to disapoint my mother, my family...as she put it...my father and grandfather....i gave in to something i said i'd never do....my mother...as far as i know, didn't want them, in any shape or form.....i was afraid....so i aborted my child....it happened twice...and because i was so afraid, i repeated something that i swore wouldnt happen again...all because the father didn't want it...dont know in what way he didnt want our child, but he didnt.to this day....i wonder...i ask myself what that little face would have looked like....sounded like....how they would have felt in my arms.....

i really tried....i wanted him to love me...to continue to love me like we'd promised...i really wanted the baby...but my body just wasnt ready for it....he left me...i tried so hard to stay strong...its soo hard though...i dont have anyone...i never told my family....my friends here feel sorry for me....but they dont know what its like....i wanted him to love me......now i found this other guy....he's so nice....we like so much of the same stuff....he has a kid....which i should have had twins along time ago....he may be older....but he's really nice....and honestly i'd love for it to work out.....i'd love to meet him....hell...he sent me a kiss the other night.....i felt warm....even though it wasn't real in a flesh sense....but i felt warm for the first time in a very very long time.....