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I am a complicated individual. So complicated that people just don't understand. My thoughts, my personality, my emotions, my dreams, and my heart are complicated.



I no longer know whether I belong to the dark or the light. My life has been an endless fight between Darkness ant the light. My thoughts are dark. Maybe as much of my personality. My emotions drive me insane. And my dreams drive me to the edge. My heart wants things that I cannot have.



I feel like i can no longer stay in one place. I have to keep moving. I have to keep running. But, I don't want to run any more. Because once I stop it's just "Boom! Rush of memories... rush of guilt." In the past I wasn't good. I made mistakes. I hurt people. But, all out of my own reasons.... now... the pain just won't go away. It just won't stop.



The idea goes through my mind all of the time to just switch of my humanity and leave the compassionate, loving, caring person I am in my rear view mirror. I feel the need to not care anymore. I want to just turn everything off. But, I know that if I do i will become the monster that kills and that's not what I want to forever be.



I am a very complicated person. One who goes into things with and open heart. I work as a writer and write down stories and some of the feelings I have. I am broken. My heart is broken and I need a special someone who can help me pick up the pieces. Because I'm tired of picking theme up myself.



I want to just let go of all of that pain, guilt, and everything that drags me down. And I just want to feel free.



Can you pull me back from the ledge that I'm about to jump from?



Because I can't do it anymore.



Me being around as long as I have... I'm ready to give up. I'm ready to let go... I'm ready to jump.



Selenia Salvatore