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SecretPast333's Journal


SecretPast333's Journal

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1 entry this month
 

crazy

08:57 Jun 17 2012
Times Read: 490


Sometimes I think I'm crazy. I mean, most the things I believed about my life were force feed lies. I don't know what real anymore. I'm scared.. no terrified that one day I'm going to wake up, or go to school and have everyone laugh at me. Have my friends say something like, "you really believe in vampires and werewolves and all the crap? You think your speacial? A witch? Ha! We all made everything up, you believe it?"



I know a lot of my 'friends' made everything up. Like kaitlyn.. she picked the outcast girls, and feed them bullshit, played up their weaknesses to turn them, me, and her 'friends' into her personal bodyguards. Spewing lies about gods, and death, and her being like the key to the world.. she said if she died , the world died. She always was threatening to kill herself. Said she was possesed by a bunch of different 'gods' and demons. She even pretended to be my friend's (who is adopted) real parents. It was all bullshit. Zack played on my feelings for him, feed me bullshit about a guy from my past, said he was a werewolf, and that that guy was trying to kill him. Told me one story, but went behind my back and told all my friends I was crazy, annoying, suicidal, and a bitchy slut. Just general things to make them all pretty much stop talking to. That's when taylor swooped in, lead me on, first tells me she's a vampire. Than says kaitlyn told her that and that she's really a witch and a messenger. The fuck? Said gaby told her that. Gaby didn't. Than tells me some bullshit about being my ex charles's mate, says ima die cuz ima doppelganger and starts dating zack. Again. The fuck?



Turns out zacks kinda a physco... follows gaby around, watches her while she's at home, says their ment to be and is pretty much her personal stalker. Broke into her house multiple times. Was there to witness it once. And he lied about who knows how much. Typical player but . Crazy . Pretended to loose his memories to admit he liked me when I first met him . Did the same to gaby . Made fun of me on his facebook.. and told ppl everything about the supernatural I had told him to make me look crazy............

Taylor... at first I think she just wanted away from kaitlyn,, but than she just wanted zack. Ended up toying with me and gaby, lying, tricking us. I hate her.

And kaitlyn? That's easy. Bitch wanted power.



Now I don't know what to believe... I trust gaby cuz she has proof, to back up what she says. She has all these same fears. Laura is where I am.. broken confused and we all decided to get out. We dropped that world. We dropped it. Even my mom did. She kinda gave up her wicca magic, and I did a spell to turn back into a witch.. if I wanna even think about the thought that I may or may not of been a vampire.



My mom has banned wicca or anything supernatural from being in or spoken of in the house..



But I still practice it.

I can't help it. Its second nature to me. Wicca is in my blood. Passed down from my mom. I doubt that she's gone all this time and haven't thought about trying it one more time....



I still can't help but wonder... am I just crazy?


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