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Yesterday was my birthday, except it was a very bad day. Its like yesterday was telling me this year is going to be bad. Yesterday it was really warm, maybe showing there's always hope?

Everything happens for a reason. When I was 14 I wrote myself a letter, not to open until yesterday. It gave me hope, and I remembered how I was back than. Ambitious an always looking for answers. So I'm going to stop playing the sad little depressed girl who just sits back and watches life crush me. I'm gunna live life. And everytime I have a question in my head that I can't find the answer to, I will always look for the answer. :)

I want to be normal. but I never will be, will I?

I told my cousin about my life, the secrets that haunt me. I let her read my Book Of Shadows. And she let me drink from her...



The day before Christmas.. i got a new boyfriend. I am terrified to fall for him. For him to learn the secrets of what I am. He'll never accept me... or some cruel twist of fate will lead us not to be together. Just like with Zack... what were the chances of him turning out to be the only thing I can bring myself to hate in my life beside myself?



I told Gaby I can't be her guardian anymore. I promised to protect her so long ago but she's no longer in danger anymore. Her son is born, though the results of who the father was amused me so, but i lost my daughter. Second child I've lost do too what I am. I hate drinking blood though it. I don't hate drinking blood, i hate hurting people.. but now I have someone willing to let me drink from her...



I wish I could run from this life. And I'll try. I don't need to let my life revolve around Gaby and her family. I'm done serving them. I'm my own person. I'm not BOUND to them. I will live my life the way I want. starting Today! I can't wait for the day I move to Morris and can excape this horrible Life.



My Name IS Lisa Nicole. I was Born a witch but got attacked and turned into a a vampire.. well... half because I refused to drink blood and instead had my mother (who knows what I am) convince my doctor that I'm anemic and I substituted with iron pills and absorbed peoples aura to add as energy. But drank for the first time a few months back and now i NEED Blood. I rely on it. Bow my cousin is my "doner". I was the "guardian" to my bestfreind Gaby. Who also is like me. She needed protected last year because people were after her. Now she's completely safe, she has a son, and she now has MY ex boyfreind and doesn't have to tell him about this life because i did when I was with him. I'm expected to always put Gaby's happiness before my own. I have to be her body guard and it's caused me a hell of alot of trouble in my life. I'm done. Cuz now her family hate me, and are making my life hell. I'm done. I'm gunna live a free life. and the fun part? Gaby's gunna let me the minuet I move. I. Can't. Wait.



Bye bye. Thats my thoughts for today.