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I couldnt write it down until now...











THis heart is drenched in fear

gazing at the wall of isolation that stands near

It devides the river of blood and i

as the secluded sky begins to cry



left alone in these empty spaces again

you've acknowledge the razor that severs my skin

so why let your eyes shift down to the floor?

Do you not lust my crimson blood anymore?



For years and years you had not allowed my soul to rest

with acid on my skin you left your demented crest

Between the feelings of rage and self-hate

My feelings of confusion seized with your rape



For months and months you stalked my every move

In desguises to make it impossible to view you

Every other random day

You wrote me documents to voice what you say



For weeks and weeks i let the flames kiss those pages

And bleed on the ones that asked for Payments

Nights turned to safe as day turned to Hell

I was locked in my room, that turned to my cell



For days and days my swollan eyes cried

I knew that my shredded body could not hide

A phone call from you to claim your theft

Only hopping I would give birth to my death



Then my disfigured hope was saved

For so many years, months, weeks, days

I waited for the ability to dismember you from my life

But it turns out that your're the one afraid of heights



Whatever happened to you my dear?

Were you unable to live with looking in the mirror

All you could see was a fucking lie

So now I laugh at your suicide



You wandered up to the gates of Hell

The treachorous pain I felt you do as you ring that bell

You gouged my sanity from my brain

Burn you bastard and enjoy your fame.

I think we are dieing. He tells me that we will talk the next day and then it is like nothing ever happened. He tells me how much he loves me then pretty much tells me to fuck off the next. Ignores my calls and never talks. He wants me to stop but this is a fine way of helping. All I want his fo rhim to understand and out of all people I think that he would. I feel like I am not good enough for him. But I dont want to lose him. I guess Im just stupid and selfish so I guess I will remain to keep my mouth shut. The one I know and love seems to be drifting away. I just want reasureance. Am I asking for too much?