Call me depressing, emo, pathetic, whatever...
Lately I'm having a VERY hard time seeing why I should try with humans.
It seems like things are going with the couple of ones that mean everything to me. Then shit goes down. Always. I know, this happens to everyone. But you know what, it's really fucking irritating now. I feel like I should just give up with any sort of relationship. The harder I try, the more of a mess I make. What the fuck is up with that? I know I'm only 19, almost 20. What makes you think I haven't experienced anything? Someone once told me that I've experienced more than most of the adults he knows. This came from a 28 year old. So what the fuck. I really have no fucking clue. I also have no idea about my sexuality. So a part of my identity is not there. I need time to figure it out.
Fuck this shit. Seriously. I want to drive away and tell no one where I'm going. Leave my fucking cell phone behind and just talk to new people so I don't feel completely alone. I need a road trip.
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