The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Posted: 18:19:26 - Oct 16 2007

Times viewed: 1



My initial impression of magick was negative since I was raised in a very, very strict, Christian household.



Once I got away from that and began to explore other options, I found my first experience with magick - Wicca - to be extremely disappointing, hokey, and just as dogmatic as Christianity. Not judging. It's just my thing. However, I did read the books on the topic that were available to me as well as the many sites that are popular in that community, and learned a lot of things that are somewhat "canon" in that particular magickal community.



I was very vaguely introduced to Chaos Magick, Thelema, and Satanism around the same time, pried enough theoretical information from my attractive source, and then continued to fill my brains with stuffs from tehs amasin books by the likes of Josh Wetzel, Peter Carroll, Frater U.:D.:, Aleister Crowley, A.O.Spare, Phil Hine, the guys from disinfo and the like.



I really never had or suggested that anyone else "teach" me, nor did I really "learn," beyond the basic concepts of reading information and absorbing it for reference, inspiration, or use at a later date. It was an icredibly individual experience with emphasis placed on my own creativity, desire, intuition, discipline, and preference. I decided and pondered what it was I needed or wanted or would like to accomplish out of my various activities and pursuits, and I used my researching and academic skills to learn what I needed, and then the rest was inspired, creative, passionate gobbledegook manifested in my actions and results.



So I'm pretty sure the experience is - hopefully - a little different for everyone.

It's only after being around every single person that you realize just how much like every other person you really are...

And we thought we were so special.



Creativity?

Is there a fiery spark?

Can I breathe flames of consolation?

Can I sing in worthwhile fashion?

If I write, will you cry?

What is the meaning of life????





There's nothing here but isolation and higher knowledge. Higher knowledge is nothing without creativity. I'm convinced that I neeeeeeeeeed to go to Mars now.





PS.

Been drinking a lot of soymilk with female hormone supplements, and I actually feel amazingly better.

Diagnosis?

I was being too much of a man. And fucking with my female emotions. After taking FEMALE body supplements, I mellowed out. I was so far beyond...



Ok, I don't want to dote on my naturally androgynous nature, but I think that's cool that my emotions have calmed down so very much. It's like, I was too far emotional n the other direction, but it was coming out in a female way (since I am female), probably because my inner girl was like, "help! I'm suffocating under all this natural male hormone!"



It's kind of cool. A little strange to me. Not sure what to think.



My baby is so wonderful. I can't wait to see you, honey.

I just can't believe we've been through all this.

And we're still only... barely scratching the surface of the beginning of our lives together.





"First husband and wife team rapists plague the country! Neo Abbey of Thelema turns into Global Nightmare!"

A sri lankan frined pointed me to this on facebook... so funny!





AYOBOWAN/ VANAKKAM/

ASSALAMU ALAIKUM/ SALAAMATH





-Are You Tired of dumbass ignorant people categorizing you as an Indian when you tell them that you're from Sri Lanka...?

-Are you proud of your Sri Lankan heritage?

-Do you wish you were Sri Lankan so that you could look this good? ;D

-Or Do you simply appreciate the Sri lankan Culture?



..Well...this is a group for you and this is the group that started it all!!!





[The following list is random..take it as u wish ( suggest something)..and this group has nothing against Indians either..The title is just for fun]





You Know you are Sri Lankan when....



1. You use banana leaves instead of plates, to eat rice and curry



2. Your parents mark any special occasion by boiling milk until it spills all over your stove..



3. You get it on to baila music.



4. You know Buddhist chants, Hindu chants and the Islamic call to prayer..by heart



5. your idea of a bathing suit is a conspicuous see-thru sarong around your chest.



6. You find apples and oranges to be precious commodities while durian and rambutang are part of your daily diet.



7. You refer to friends by calling them "Machan" instead of "dude"



8. you have encountered; been pursued; or bitten by a snake.



9.Catching malaria is like catching a cold.



10. You don't remember how to spell your long-ass last name



11. You find that Americans will choose death over trying to pronounce your name.



12.You learned how to spell your last name by singing it to the tune of the ABC song



13. You haggle at the dollar store cuz' you know that chocolate bar just cost you a 100 rupees.



14. You eat string hoppers ,coconut milk and a three- course curry meal for breakfast



15.When Arrack is better then any French champagne



16. You have mastered the art of squatting



17. You use Siddahelpe, gripe water and Panadol to solve your medical problems



18.You rock a pimped out three whealer when you drive down main street to check out the hoes.



19 You ride an elephant to school.8 )



20.You make $100 per month and buy petrol at $4 per gallon.



21. You tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.



22. You have a Singer sewing machine at home.



23 You call an older person you've never met before uncle or "aunty"



24.Your relatives alone could populate a small city.



25.EVERYONE is a family friend.



26.You went to a university as far away from home as possible and you still came back home to live with your parents after you finish.



27.You use Kist or Maggi chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.



28.You parents always say "on the light" instead of "turn the light on



29.When "Aney".. or "Aiiyooo" or "Alllaaahhh" is a standard word in everyday conversation



30.You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.



31.You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family



32.You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go



33.Your parents drink 3 cups of tea a day



34.When the car allows 7 people yet you seem to fit 20 in there!!



35.Your parents compare you to all of their friends'

kids.



36.When cursing the Government is the highlight of every dinner conversation



37.No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.



38. Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor/engineer.



39.Your parents worry what other people will think when your seen out in public with boys or if your "carrying on with someone"



40.Your parents worry what other people will say about you having a girlfriend/boyfriend or better yet "an affair"



41.At a function or party your parents say that their leaving, but often take another hour saying goodbye at the door.



42. You find overlapping last names in the display area for this Groups' members. (if you dont see this, refresh your page. it'll happen eventually)



43. When u tell people that you are from Sri Lanka and they say "oh the country that got hit by the tsunami" (apparently the tsunami finally put us on the map!)



44. Whenever something sad happens to anyone or any animal for that matter you automatically say "aney pouuuuuu..."



45. When your parents talk shit about your American friends in Sinhalese/Tamil while standing right next to them



46. When something gross happens or talking about anything thats disgusting,bad,etc. you say "Chi Chi Chi...".



47.When you see guys in Nugegoda walkin comfortably on the street holding hands and wearing flourescent shirts and yellow BATA slip-ons..And hey! no one looks at them twice!!



48. When u see middle aged guys with the dogiest mustaches and a head full of puffy toupee-like hair.



49. You drink tea after every occasion



50 You walk in to a Sri Lankan party with one pair of shoes and walk out with a different pair that don't even match.



51. You salt and pepper your mangoes, and every other fruit you eat



52.You have a Sri Lankan driving license which does not have a date of birth printed on it!



53.when you tell people you`re NOT from India, and that you`re from Sri Lanka, they say "ohh okay," but really, they think its all the same thing.



53. You look for that plastic bowl after taking a dump...cuz' wiping it is just not good enough!



54.You go to a restaurant and ask for Fanta, Portello or a chocolate SMAK instead of a Pepsi



55. When on your 18th birthday, you find out that you are pre- arranged to marry a person that you have never seen or heard-of before.



56. When your 17-year old third-cousin's wedding reception is bigger and more grand then the Kandy Perahara.



57. When the differences in skin complexion within your family can only be compared to a color wheel.



58. Your parents smuggle tea, juggery and every possible spice into the country when they return home from a visit to Sri Lanka. At the customs office, they would check off "NO" for the question regarding "food, exotic plants, hazardous chemicals or firearms".



59. Your parents leave folded plastic bags from expensive stores under their mattress so that they can be reused to make ghetto presents look really expensive.



60. Your Parents aren't afraid to chase you down the street and slap you if you talk back...



61. You cover tv remotes with plastic wrap to the point where u cant even see the buttons



62. You often went to school looking like a brown mime because your mom smothered your face with talcum powder.



63. When you were a child, your parents randomly dressed you up for the sole purpose of taking pictures.



64. You see middle aged Sri Lankan women on the bus with frizzy hair, magenta lipstick and faces that have been liberally smothered with "Fair and Lovely".



65. You grew up on Marmite and Glucose powder...and often faked a stomach ache so that you could drink Gripe water.



66. You know that Cheetos aint got nothin' on Tipi Tips..



67. Your parents describe every foreign exotic place in the world as either "down-south" or "up-country"



68. When you visit your Sri Lankan aunties, they always serve you a plate of lemon puffs and Tang before anything else.



69. When in Sri Lanka, you find 9 wedding halls on one street while a library is often non-existant.



70. Your Parents' idea of a day off is sitting through loooooooong sermons in temples, churches or mosques



71. When you'd "tap that Toddy" just to get that nice taste.



72.You're not allowed on msn or facebook, yet u still sneak off and go on. Your parents wouldn't allow you out of their sight, simply because "Anee, you'll meet boys and get raped!"



73.When every Lankan girl that you meet is the daughter of the auntie whose grandfather is the cousin of the father of your uncle who is the brother of your dad!



74. When your parents INSIST on carrying an emergency stash of mosquito coils in their first aid kit!



75. When you've had chili smothered in your mouth because you talked back to your parents. : @



76. When your parents call Scotch tape 'sello tape' and refer to Washing Powder as 'Rinso'.



77. When you know that "NO" actually means "YES" in Sri Lankan English...NO?



78. When you know that there are people in Sri Lanka who could probably out-bobble a bobble-head!



79. If you think Sigiriya Rock should be the eighth wonder of the world.



80.When you know the words to that very annoying 'surangani' song...



81.You know exactly what your parents mean when they hold up a bata slipper and say " I shall give you one, nicely"...



82. When your parents say you can be anything in life...but really mean you either have the choice of being an engineer, doctor, lawyer or marrying somebody who is an engineer, doctor or lawyer.



83. When despite the fact that you have eaten a full three course meal prior to visiting your "auntie", refusing to eat another three course meal in the same evening may result in dire consequences.



84. You often see trucks or three wheelers with either people's names or things like like "Sudhu Kella" or "Sinna Kutti" plastered on the back.



85. You get invited to dinner at an "uncles" house for 7:00pm; You get there at 8:30 and dinner is served at 11:58 pm; The arrack induced fathers start singing at 1:00 am while the mothers start making idle chit chat about the "old days in Sri Lanka"...By 3:00am your "auntie" forces you to drink coffee so that you can get a good nights sleep when you get home at 6:00 AM.



86. When you've spend at least one afternoon wrapping your school textbooks with "brown paper" so that they don't get damaged!



87. When you walk into a crowded room and EVERYONE looks up and just STARES at you for no apparent reason. Along with head bobbing, it is a custom to stare!!!!!!



88. When you know that Odel's is the best place to do an entire decade worth of shopping!



89. When a game of carrom is used to settle minor disputes.



90. When you know that Thambili is not only a fruit, but a color, a cure for diarrhea and a way to solve hangover-related issues!



91. When you see aunties/uncles you haven't seen in a long time they give you the Sri Lankan "sniff kiss" where by:

a.They bring their cheek up to your cheek

b. The sniff

c. Switch cheeks and repeat.



92. When your version of cookies and milk equals to"Marie biscuits" and Pure Ceylon Tea.



93. When your mother doesn't want you going outside at noon because she thinks "you'll get dark".



94. When you know that "short eats" are nothing short of delicious, fattening and extremely addictive...

That I could be in my lovers arms right now.



And that I could be playing Morrowind.



I miss the game!!

It's been weeks. Why do I still have these random undying bursts of energy for days at a time? I'm wondering what it is that I do as far as stimulating the mind goes in the process of me randomly gaining more energy.



It started out with me checking VampireRave, facebook, myspace, email, iwon, bank account, livejournal. Then, I starting working on upping my status here on VR. I started reading and posting actively in the forums, looking up book links on amazon to reference for chaos magick, playing around. also, i began adding more programs on facebook. One happens to involve books and I can't seem to tear myself away.



I wrote my lover a note on facebook and can't stop thinking about how much I miss him and can't wait to be with him and in his arms again... only 11 days away! AUGH! so excited.



then looking up peace pictures, cool pictures in general, organizing mine, continuously uploading and organizing on facebook, editing piece of my profile here, considering getting premium membership when i get paid, thinking about my lover., wondering why some people have to act so incredibly mean, inconsiderate, ignorant, and apathetic.



Come on people... you can change your life! get up and do something about it! Don't sulk around complaining about old fashioned stereotypes and people online who you will NEVER EVER even really know or meet.



If you choose to pull the trigger - should your drama prove sincere - do it somewhere far away from here!

When I was younger, I used to have moments of scarce and fleeing fear and abandonment of self-control - I would feel like I was losing it, or I would actually lose it. I realized though, that that behavior would classify me with a certain negative stereotype, and since I could control it or at least combat it, I did. I didn't give in to the urge to cut myself just for the sake of cutting. I didn't give in to the urge to not keep up with myself. I didn't give in to the urge to lose myself in various drugs or other restricted behaviors. I didn't give in to the urge to give up what I had dreamed for.



And now that I have a decent world view and a lot of self-control, I wonder if it's even possible after, years after the fact, for people who chose to give in, to come back.





Girl

you've got a pretty face

But don't let that go to waste

Based on narcicisstic dreams of glory

Hoping to make yours a worthwhile story



Boy

Don't you have it all under control

You've always done just what you're told

Lest you see things differently

And then you take whatever you need



And I'm not sure just where you get it off

But it seems quite more than likely

That you've got a mission to knock off

And you just keep embarking nightly



On your self-fulfilling dreams

Waste and delusion come for free

Just sign the dotted line

We'll fix you up real fine.

Just maybe... the spam on myspace wasn't really from bots...



Perhaps...



it was from neglected VR members!!





^0^