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Same Shit Different Day



As usual, all I do is work..THATS IT pathetic, I know.

wake up, go to work, come home, go online, go to bed, wake up to do it again. Life is a fucking never ending circle. I'm told I need to get a life, to get out more, but that is kinda hard with no friends and no time.

Kandi, a girl I work with says I should go to school to be a Labodamist (or however its spelled) I have to admit I'm not bad at getting blood, but I hate the medical field and I want no part in it..so I don't know.

I know I only submit pictures of my dog, but shes all I have, and I hate myself too much to take pictures of me, and have no one to take any.

I don't know whats going on with me. I need a change, WANT a change, but I don't know how to get one. go to school and work part time? i have too many bills to pay. If I keep the job I have now..theres no telling what will happen. I'm more stressed, have even less patience then I did before and tired all the time since I started working there, and I feel like a 21 year old trapped in a 70 year olds body. I want to just leave..start over, but I know thats not an option since I have nowhere to go and no money.

Maybe I'm just pathetic enough to be dwelling in self pity, I don't know.

Once again not up to anything. Got back in contact with a friend I had in college, the whole 4 months I was in college, been 3ish years since I talked to him, and the loser randomly IMed me. Managers going into surgery end of the month for her messed up shoulder, so I'm stuck in this worthless job even longer. God I need help lol. Getting back into drawing/painting so..thats all thats going on.

New Year..Should bring new things right? Yes people make new years resolutions, but does anyone really follow them? I don't, or else I wouldn't still have this shit job and shit life. I'm going to be 21 on 2-27, and what do I have to show for it? NOTHING except a photography career that wont take off, and whys that? because I'm not sane enough or smart enough to be able to go to college.

I know Ive complained about my job before, but the more I'm there the more ridiculous it gets. I work 38 hours a week, I'm supposed to be full time, so I'm ok with having 2 more hours on a day..but noo, thats not good enough for them. One of my coworkers, Karen, is part time, she works 4 and a half days a week, Debbie, the manager, and whose supposed to be my friend...(thin line to cross i know) but she told me, that Karen doesn't "feel like" working saturdays anymore, so if she stop working them, then I have to. That means ill be working like 46 hours a week. thats retarded! I didn't even go to school for this crap. Debbie said "stop complaining, i work 50 hours a week and you dont see me complaining" SHES THE MANAGER. The place couldn't survive without her since she runs everything, they can do without me!. GIVE THE HOURS TO THE TECH WHO IS HAVING FINANCIAL PROBLEMS AND HAS 4 YR OLD TWINS. If I keep this job up, I know ill end up in a psych ward. I can't think straight anymore, I haven't seen my friends in months, and I don't eat healthy anymore, I'm constantly tired and weak from being worn out from fighting animals all day. The closest thing I have to sitting down in almost 9 hours is walking slow, and I'm made fun of for it. Only reason I'm keeping this job is the health benefits since I get sick a lot (wonder why) but is that really worth risking my health and sanity? I need a new job, but I know they won't let me go without a fight and a few threats thrown at me. My stomach is even too weak to handle this job anymore, at the sight of drool, pee shit or vomit i start gagging, and once again, im made fun of for it. Not my fault I have a weak stomach, blame my genes, my sisters and mother are the same way.

Everyday is new, who knows that'll happen to me. Maybe I just don't understand and I'm complaining too much like they say. Who knows. I know im forgetting to add a few things that are going on, but really, who cares? God help me.

Most exciting thing going on in my life, is, Monday, at work, theres going to be a mini Christmas party...pretty pathetic when you have more of a Christmas at work then with family, but that is my life. Sunday I have to go to richards house..(my father...shh) for dinner...at 1 in the afternoon...with my sister, brother in law, 2 brats called my nephews, and 2 more people that i dont even know....so uh, just shoot me now.

Nothing too new is going on. Got bloodwork done at the doctor last week since I wasn't feeling good and was having dizzy spells at work..and being dizzy and shaking while getting blood on a cat that wants to rip my face off...isnt too good. Nothing is wrong though, just have HC..so working on lowering that. Helped one of the doctors (the only dr that trusts me) with a minor surgery today...that was fun...she let me give the cat 2 shots...woo..my lifes so exciting.

Can't wait until i get the puppy next spring, but not looking forward to the 4am getting up to let the dog outside to pee when it starts crying.