This morning at exactly about 8:30 iI awoke to find my brother standing over me and the first words out of his mouth were..
“kynerrahs mother died"
No smile no from just the words. For a moment I couldn't believe it, i mean just last night they went to a party for her mother and now she's dead. They said that she said she couldn't breath....And that was the end.
I learned at a very very young age that I do not deal with death the “proper" way. I do not cry, I do not frown, and honestly I show no hint of emotion at all..because that me. Its not because I'm heartless nor am Icold iit's just me. I suppose its just I was never the dramatic type and I just can't do it. I'vealways thought iI was just f*cked up in that area and as I was made to believe I might burn in hell.
Honestly I didn't care because it was just me I couldn't cry. Maybe because if I started I wouldn't stop, maybe because I understood that death was death and that was the end of the story.
I didn't cry when I heard it on the news, when I went to a funeral. Maybe because I grew up around violence..I've never livednin the suburbs that's for sure.
The only time I have ever Vries over death is when I was about 8 and my cat died. My baby cat. That cat my everything to me. He was my best friend, my family; and my brother had yo ruin everything and accisently kill him.
His head got smashed, and he died in front of me. I mean I was such a loner at that age and I literally had no friends at all.y sister was always popular and I the nerd. I was constantly bullied and I didn't do a thing. I wasn't one to start fights. So I stuck my face in my books.
I had no one.
I didn't even notice the gene pool seeping into my blood even bbefore puberty. I was growing everywhere. I was growing taller than everyone in my glass! My breast were growing big and I didn't know what to do. I started to get picked on even more and I was told that pretty girls get picked on. I didn't know I was.
I started wearing huge shirts.
I was a nobody.
Bit that's a entry for another time people.
Death is death and I'm honestly sorry for those who must expierence it.
I hope all the dead may rest in peace.
And those who awaken live a good life.
R.I.P
Message me if you ever need to talk
-S
For person who writes it seems as though I have the inability to write well about me.My thoughts and all that so I'm taking advice andjust letting the words flow.
SNOW STORM
I live in america. Yes in the city. Its not a bad place.
Until your stuck in your house no where to go because of a huge snow storm. I'm all for snow and the whole bit but I'm not very happy when I have to spend cash on new shoes.
I've ruined two pairs of boots and a few sneakers.
Honestly I am not happy.
I want my boots back.
COMMENTS
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darksideblue
14:26 Mar 09 2014
Your not strange we all deal with death differently I tend to shrug my shoulders and carry on regardless so don't worry about how you act of these things :)