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I have not been on in a while, I have not had any strange dreams, but life seems to be steady, looking for more adrenaline to keep me going. What next? I need to push myself to the limits, no regrets, heart racing so I feel close to death, sky diving was not enough for me, I want more.

I have not had a dream in a few days now, i cant sleep and i need to get energy, i tried to get some adrenalin by jumping 13000 feet out of a plane yesterday but it has not worked, I need to feed, what can I do? I feel lost without him.

The day of the dark is upon me, i vow that if i can never be with my true blood than I shall feed on the energy of every man that I come across, I will take them for all that they are worth and leave them for death to collect them. No remorse, only blood, I now have no heart, to this I swear.

Last night I had the strangest dream I have ever had, before I went to bed I felt that he would visit me in my dreams. I closed my eyes and had the deepest sleep I have had in a long time when I woke the next morning I discovered that my PJ's had been torn to threads. WTF is that even possible that he could be that strong mentally?

To face your fears can be a challenging task but I ask, why do I do this to myself? I'm scared of heights, so two more weeks and I jump out of a plane. I crave the feeling that turns my stomach.

We finally met, it was more than i could of ever imagined, he truely is pure vamp royalty. Together we can be so strong. Less than two more weeks and I get to bite. The nights seem so long not being able to have any contact with him. Why can't I make time go fast?

I sleep only four hours, they sleep eight.

I feed on energy, they feed on food.

I look young, they look twice their age.

I get what I want, they have to try.

I am strong, they are weak.

I will bite you hard, torture you and make you want more, then I will crush you and not shed a tear as I only belong to one.

Add me if you want and i will talk, but only the true blood will make it through.

I found my other and now I seek ones of my kin and to destroy the rest of you.

It's nearly been a week now and I have not bitten anyone, I just need the feeling of that control, that power. But I choose to give it up just for him, so he better watch out this Saturday, I will control, demand, bite and take his soul to a whole new realm.