There's no room at the inn for anyone not already in, so whats the point in asking?
Sometimes, life sucks.
Perhaps it is good that I won't now be going, since it appears that I am no longer considered worthy of even a hello.
I am now certain that the happiness, comfort and joy which I have now known, far outwieghs one night in the company of strangers.
Sometimes, life is the most beautiful.
And I can be happy with my lot.
£385 + £30.
Leave at 6am.
Arrive at 4pm local.
Wash.
Go party.
Catch flight at 6am.
Arrive back 8am local.
Wash.
Go to work.
Somewhere in there, I could try to fit some sleep.
IF I can pull it out of the bag...
I'm sooo close. Like...my fingertips brush the edge...
*strains*
*farts*
Oops.
Do I smell or something?
I'm lonely and all the only message I get is about a closed thread.
Fuck me.
Yes.
Thats about the size of it in some circles. lol
But yeah, would have been nice to speak to someone.
At least I have had one smile this evening.
So, I've had a couple of days off...
It's amazing how fast the forum threads move. Took me ages just to read one forum. Balancing life is a tricky old game.
But at least I sorted out bills, payments and work. It helps to have goals. Targets and dates. makes it easier to live really. Focus. Drive. I need more drive. anyone got a 4x4 the can lend me?
Or a plane would be better.
I'll settle for a ticket...
Some people I know are off to the Himalaya's to climb glaciers and such. Crazy moons, but they have a lovely house in a quiet area...and the spare bed, is Very comfy!
So a few good nights sleep. Nice to have quiet time, to collect ones thoughts. I miss them. I have major construction works right outside my window.
And i'm not kidding. When I say major- they're building a shopping mall, literally on my doorstep. Jackhammers, road surfacers, angle grinders. And I don't even need to be up as early as they get started.
And parking massive vehicles on my road. Huge deisel engines roaring through the building. Nice alarm clock...
At least it's better than running the gauntlet of gangs and street fights. And riots and constant sirens. And the club next door open till 5am...
And anything beats my last place really. it's a toss-up between the prostitutes and the drug-dealers.
*sigh*
I detest the city now. I need to get back out, into the fresh air and open country. Trees and wild flowers and gardens....with Koi ponds.
So much to do, so little cash...lol
I may break my oath and ask my family for some help here. Much as we don't get on, there's been a river of water under our respective bridges. Sometimes, it's good just to say hi. And remind oneself that we don't have to do it all on our own.
This is what a family is, yes? Mutual support when the need is really there. forgiveness is a much maligned trait in our society. Perhaps if we were able to reach a point of reconcilliation before it's too late, we might find ourselves being more at ease with who we are.
Holding grudges and spiting our enemies serves only to take away from the time which we spend being happy.
I look at what I have and I know that there are friends. That I find hard to trust, admittedly. But my direction took me away from many of them, not because I chose to move away from them, but because my life wasn't meant for this city, this country even.
Decisions in my mind are already made and I have no other desire but to be and achieve all that I can, be it making someone happy, or changing the world. Both have equal wieght to satisfaction of the soul.
And who knows, maybe I can get a ticket and a flight tomorrow. Stranger things have happened.
All I need, is to make it so...
*does a Jean-Luc Picard impression*
*pointy finger, but more hair.*
where is one's fairy godmother when she's needed?
I really, raelly wish I were going to Arizona next weekend...
Does anyone have a spare £500?
lol
I would take out a loan, but I have enough debts.
Grr.
Lambasting my utter inability to organise my finances...or catch a plane on time, I end up with a sore head and a heavy sigh.
*SIGH*
but some people do accuse me of taking a very circuitous route to making my point.
It's nothing to be proud of, apparently, in using so much english to make a point understood- enequivocally, crystally, clear.
I like to say what I mean, otherwise, how can others know what it is I'm wishing to put across?
yes, I overcomplicate the issue at times, but this is where I invite conversation and contribution from others, who might be able to make the point more clear...
So, in retrospect, I can see how my ramblings get off topic and wander into tangents, but that I use an extended vocabulary in order to acheive this, is not something I should feel ashamed of, nor quit doing, since it's how I talk in normal conversation.
I am a bore to many, I'll freely admit it. I can talk shit until the cows come home, fall asleep and wake up again to provide the milk for my frosties.
But such is the way my mind works. Nothing is ever a singular stream, nor is there any well-defined plan, agenda or purpose to what I say and do. I just do it, because it was there in my head at the time...
And it's likely that fifty percent of those who read this will be bored by the time I finish typing.
Unless I stick an incredibly humourous joke in, but I'm too cheesy for any great sophistication. Though I did come out as 'the wit', which supposedly makes me darkly sharp, with intelligent undertones.
supposedly...
All I ever see whan I read my shit back, is sillyness and self-effacing BS. With the odd banal sarcasm and a bit of light relief. But, I suppose I can be satisfied that I have found what it means to be truly yummy.
In this, everyone else on the planet ought to be envious, since there seems to be so little of it around in peoples lives nowadays.
My own was an empty shell for months, until a chance meeting, a slipped word and a smile.
How the world turns on a dime sometimes...
And where it stops, only fate will tell- sadistic minded bitch that she is.
It's Samhain psychadelia at Tribe Of Frog...
Ought to be a very yummy night.
:D
I'm 76% of the way through downloading the demo of Battlefield 2142.
Played it earlier on my mates machine.
Oh my.
if I needed somehting to while away those hours without the yummy, it is this healthy expression of my rage.
KILL KILL KILL!!!
Thats my fucking tank, you asswipe!!
Bail out!
*BOOM*
I did warn you...
lol
No.
Seriously- This game is the best first person shoot 'em up ever created.
And I need to trade myself a new video card...128MB AGP NVIDIA Gforce4 just aint gonna cut it...
512MB NVIDIA UberPCI coming up...
Now where to steal one of those...
Arse...I need a new motherboard for it..
Grr.
And yet more.
Might as well grab some memory whilst I'm at it...
Oh dear.
I must.. resist. need to save...cash...
Or get a better paid job...
*sigh*
Karl von Clausewitz- "War, is the continuation of state policy by other means"
Ok.
Some fucked up shit going on in Korean Cinema.
I thought 'Brother' was a twisted mindfuck.
I lost the plot with 'A tale of two sisters'...
Goodnight?
Not likely with that madness running through my head...
lol
I just realised that I forgot the link for that last entry...
Duh me. But it was late.
I haven't been sleeping a whole lot lately.
A lot of worry to consider.
And lonely thoughts.
The internet wars would be kinda cool...
Virtual reality contests in 3d robots and tanks with big guns, a bit like The new Battlefield game...(I will be having a go)
A far cry from 'Tron', but it could happen in the dark future.
Perhaps even big investors would bet on the winner?
Or world leaders...lol
Americans - "If my lot, beat your lot, on Saturday night, we'll relax our trade restrictions and reduce import taxes for your products."
Chinese-
"OK, but if our lot win, you have to keep buying the crap stuff."
British General... Run Away! Run away!
Did someone forget to mention something important before this all kicked off?
Such as the fact that the Muslim majority hate us more than the secular ex-allies did.
I would hope that the US pulls out as soon as possible, though it may mean that they will be handing it over to the Islamic Theocrazy...
Who knows what the idea was for taking this on, but I don't think either of plan A, B or C is working very effectively.
But the will must be stronger than the skill. `Muhammad Ali.
Apart from my not being able to get to the VR Ball, due to my leaking cash from every available oriface on my recent trip...(which I DO NOT regret)
My boss told me today that I won't be going to Japan to set up the new offices' network and he will do it.
Retribution for getting back late...
At least I didn't get sacked.
I got away with a slap on the wrist really, but this is a painful punishment.
All I can say, is that every extra minute I gained, was worth a lifetime anywhere else.
I'm going to try and go to bed. I have work in six hours...
I will imagine that I am sleeping on Egyptian cotton sheets.
:)
Time to get with the program...for real this time.
No more pussy-footing procrastination.
Lets call people on this BS which I keep reading.
It's gone on far too long and filled the forum with relative ease.
I hate shovelling shit and so, expect more grr-ing.
grr.
:P
And why do I decide to take this on at 1am?
Hmm...
Right, thats it!
Theres the cinch!
The dude is becoming impotent- because of the lack of nutrient energy and fat clogged arteries, which pump the blood to the penis.
So, no more junk food for this nympho.
:(
Appleton, Winsconsin.
"Healthy food program solves juvenile delinquency problem."
Go figure.
I know I like a bit of booty.
'Tis sexy...
But damn- I ain't neva' gon' eat no fast food eva' again!
This includes Sonic foot-long chilli dogs...
KFC zinger burgers...
And....fish and chips...noooo!!!
I love my deep fried Cod and big chunky and ever so greasy chips....
But now, after seeing this movie (it's on UK TV now), I feel like having a cholonic irrigation.
No shit.
Well, actually, loads of it.
I want this poison out of my body, right now...
One of the Doctors said;
"This is poison..."
McDonalds even admitted in writing that;
"The processing used to produce McDonalds products enevitably makes it more harmful..."
Now, at least Subway isn't this garbage.
Thank you Lord, for small mercies.
*goes to throw up*
Maybe this will make me anorexic....Like...eat my junk food, then go regurgitate it.
Tonight, I made mince beef, with carrots, leek, onion and mushrooms. In gravy, with broccoli and buttered new potatos on the side.
It was Uber Tasty.
Cost me less than a KFC meal deal.
That is fucked up, right there.
I guess it comes down to convenience living and sugar addiction.
Lucky me, I stock up on sugar through chewy sweets and beer.
None in tea and rarely drink coffee. None of my cereal. None on anything, except maybe demarera on my porridge.
Yes, I like porridge.
:P
And check out sodexho.com
They supply schools with junk....and prisons.
Nice.
America needs Jamie Oliver.
I'd laugh, but it's fucking sick.
Vista finally gave up the ghost.
I am currently reinstalling XP...
Be back later.
mew.
Now here's an observation of VR.
Probably isn't a hard and fast rule, but, consider the Coven Lux Aeterna, where a sizable number have their home in Malta.
Great place, long and proud history.
And then I thought that there can't really be that many people in such a relatively small population that have an interest in vampires.
Which makes VR the holder of the internets largest Maltese Vampire Appreciation Society.
Unless they all leave...er.
lol
But I wonder at how the covens are evolving, the polarisation of different personalities towards certain Covens, the influence of location and friends, offline and on VR.
It's kinda cool, in a geeky kind of way, to watch VR's demographic changes...
I can't sleep.
I'm tired and hurt like the devil is beating me, but I don't want to go to bed.
I'm missing something...
*goes to try again*
I have a whole load of pics to upload and post here soon...
But bed calls and it's a hard day at work tomorrow.
Lots of sunset, a few sunrise...One good one of the mississippi...and some other random bits.
I hope y'all will like.
lol
I just took a machete approach to the forum.
Har har.
>:)
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