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I was online and talking to some people that I really like earlier.



Unfortunately, my connection is quirky and killed me in the middle of a moment of realisation.



A year ago today, I received a prosthetic in my ear.



It seems that recent problems have been related to a problem with it and I will need to go back.



And it brought me to sit here thinking about the past year.



I have a new job, I've moved home and have learned a lot. My life has changed irrevocably in many ways and it doesn't look to be stopping any time soon.



Sometimes, I wish life could be boring, just to give me a bloody rest.



But, I still feel as though I have underachieved somehow.



Its silly really- I have a good job that pays well, lots of friends and even some people that care about me...



But I still feel lacking. Am I being greedy?



I know that a whole lot of people in the world don't have as much.



But, I want more out of life. I feel like there is something else waiting to happen to me. Another series of dramas to add to my memiors.



Its infuriating to have dreams that are already in my hand, but I don't know what to do with them now I have them.



At school, they asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. Being a techie geek, I said 'systems analyst'. Now, I've been there, done that and I'm, to be frank, bored.



I think I need a challange. I think I am set for another tectonic shift in my life. The signs are all there.



I simply need to have the courage of my convictions to grasp my desires.

COMMENTS

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Joli
16:45 Oct 08 2009

You have the courage...we know it together now.

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POST COMMENT

I have a mental block the size of a glacier... and I fear shifting it will be just as slow.



I am also missing something. Someone.

M'Lady, where are you? I need you in my heart.

Its really winter here now. The mornings are cold and I want the touch of warmth to be there beside me.

Your touch.



I can't seem to let this emotion out right now.



As though I were waiting for something.



Who knows?

I have to admit, the last few days have been tough and I am thankful for those that care.



I will be back soon, but for the moment, I have some things to take care of and can only drop in to collect messages...



I am working hard on a number of things, so please be patient with me!



:D