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I absolutely love the movie "8 Mile".



The realism, the dialogue, the music, even the fact that it's a semi-biographical story of Eminem's life, all combine to an awesomely accurate experience of street life.



Funniest thing is, it's just like that here, but with less guns (sometimes).



I can't say that I'll miss it- the sideways look at the white guy walking down the front line, the backhanded remarks, the kiddies with the up-front abuse. Walking through a gang of bad boys outside my house on a Saturday night...



Still, at least it's been a bit quieter since I moved into the red light district. Sort of. The neighbours are just as noisy, but I think I preferred the Jamaicans to the Pro's, at least they had music I could chill out to.



It's even funnier how I've never been mugged, robbed, attacked or felt that I was in any danger. Must be something in the back of their minds telling- "White boy with no fear. something's not right with that picture..."



I've been here for a long time and learned that it's all about front- the walk, the imposition of personality.



So, in the shop today, two girls from the North side of the city, born and bred west country, are looking to work out if they have enough cash to buy ten cigs and still get the bus home, debating whether to walk or not. Talking to the inevitably Indian shop-keeper, they ask "Is St Paul's dangerous?"



Behind them I flash a grin to the guy behind the counter, who knows me by name, our eyes meet in mutual amusement at these two white teenagers, planning on walking through St Pauls on their own. He caves and tells them to get the bus.

Just reading the front page of the sandbox and I realised that I wanted to respond with "Yo Momma", to almost every thread...





Who do you love? - Yo Momma



What is your phobia? - Yo Momma



Jokes - Yo Momma



Weirdest Word - Yo Momma



feeling at the moment - Yo Momma



Favorite Disney movie?? - Yo Momma



how much you can love - Yo Momma?



What are yours nick names? - Yo Momma



one thing you can live without? - Yo Momma



what food would you never eat - - Yo Momma





Amazing really...

The calculation for the Coven score makes no sense, at all.



I crunched the numbers, three times, to find it doesn't add up.



How can two people, with ratings over 9.something, have an average of 7.something?



I swear it is designed to give people a headache...lol

OK.



I finally did it. Took a lot more work than I expected, but it exists.



Straight in at number eight, I present to you, The Coven of the Darkest Blood.

Homo Lamia Dissolutus





lol Works for me...

Seems that it is for certain that I will never rejoin the company of House Eternal.



Thanks for showing me exactly what I'm missing.

My thanks to vladimirlocke and Raziel, for making my day even better.



A thank you for my response to a post and a polite asking of my advice, which makes me feel that there is hope and life left for the Forum.



Funny how one is from a person I've never met and the other, whom I once argued with.



Amazing how it turns around after time, in that people I once held respect in their forum presence, now denigrate it and others whom I held contempt for, have provided much needed quality.

See, it's all about perception and communication.



So, after I express my opinion on the behaviour of some in the public box, this is the response, after some personal argument over whether a person knows me or not.





"You have become so arrogant, and power tripped!



If anyone needs to get a GRIP, IT's YOU!



You have become a total complete jerk!



You used to be so kind, and so gentlemen like. Now you just come into rub elbows with other Dominars, and look down upon us lil people.. NICE!"





Well, there you have it. People claiming to know me and yet, this is their assessment.

I'm not yet sure why, but I keep coming back to thoughts of linking vampirism to Himalayan theological ideas.



A while back...more than a year ago, I posited a (very) tenuous relationship between Bhuddist precepts and the nature of the vampire's existence.



The most recent thought I've come across, is the concept of Devachan, described thus;



[Tibetan, bde-ba-can, pronounced de-wa-chen]



"A translation of the Sanskrit sukhavati, the "happy place" or god-land. It is the state between earth-lives into which the human entity, the human monad, enters and there rests in bliss and repose.



When the second death after that of the physical body takes place - and there are many deaths, that is to say many changes of the vehicles of the ego - the higher part of the human entity withdraws into itself all that aspires towards it, and takes that "all" with it into the devachan; and the atman, with the buddhi and with the higher part of the manas, become thereupon the spiritual monad of man.



Devachan as a state applies not to the highest or heavenly or divine monad, but only to the middle principles of man, to the personal ego or the personal soul in man, overshadowed by atma-buddhi. There are many degrees in devachan: the highest, the intermediate, and the lowest. Yet devachan is not a locality, it is a state, a state of the beings in that spiritual condition.



Devachan is the fulfilling of all the unfulfilled spiritual hopes of the past incarnation, and an efflorescence of all the spiritual and intellectual yearnings of the past incarnation which in that past incarnation have not had an opportunity for fulfillment. It is a period of unspeakable bliss and peace for the human soul, until it has finished its rest time and stage of recuperation of its own energies.



In the devachanic state, the reincarnating ego remains in the bosom of the monad (or of the monadic essence) in a state of the most perfect and utter bliss and peace, reviewing and constantly reviewing, and improving upon in its own blissful imagination, all the unfulfilled spiritual and intellectual possibilities of the life just closed that its naturally creative faculties automatically suggest to the devachanic entity.



Man here is no longer a quaternary of substance-principles (for the second death has taken place), but is now reduced to the monad with the reincarnating ego sleeping in its bosom, and is therefore a spiritual triad. (See also Death, Reincarnating Ego)"







What I am supposing here, is that the reincarnation principles, purported as the means of inheriting identity by significantly influencial groups in the community, are in some manner linked to the above Eastern philosophical idea.



Perhaps it is the avoidance, or the inability to acheive this state, which brings about the vampiric 'disconnection' from 'the oneness', which then generates the energetic need factor.



Another idea which this allows for, is the immortality of the soul, in it never being recreated, that both the ego and the id are maintained as an individualised pattern(s), between existence and oneness, time after time, death after death.



Of course, this is just a work in progress...

So, back in reality, I saw my mother today.



Yes.



Hmm.



I suppose, it makes me happy.



She seems happy. I'll see her again and my Grandmother, before my flight.



Might even bump into a few more of 'the family'. turns out, that my Uncle Donald, is doing the whole genealogy thang, charting everyone in the family. He's a bit like that. Very dedicated. And has an interesting job. Attache of some sort. My mother and her new husband are both cops....thats funny My mother, married to a cop AND working for them.



If word gets on the street, it'll be a good thing thaT I'm Leaving the country. lol

Are you worried about demon attacks?



Do you have mysterious 'things' attacking you?



Are you a dimensional traveller?



Then beware!



For The Hounds of Tindalos, are literally awaiting you around every corner.



:P

"News of a seagull in Aberdeen who's causing a flap. The SUN tells how, every morning, he lies in wait outside a corner shop, waiting for the door to open. When it does, he waddles in and pinches a bag of crisps, before wandering back outside to scoff them. The following day, the feathered shoplifter is back for another bag. A shop assistant tells the SUN the seagull is picky: he'll only take spicy Doritos - nothing else will do."





Of course, it's a Scottish seagull...clever, yet tighter than its own ass. lol

...I think I may start back on the trail of dodgy forum posts...





Ninjun-lightsaber-cutting-remarks-ahoy me hearties (and other such nonsense...)

Can you hear me calling
Out your name
You know that I'm falling
And I don't know what to say


I'll speak a little louder
I'll even shout
You know that I'm pround
And I can't get the words out


Oh I...
I want to be with you everywhere
Oh I...
I want to be with you everywhere
(Wanna be with you everywhere)


Something's happening
Happening to me
My friends say I'm acting peculiarly


C'mon baby
We better make a start
You better make it soon
Before you break my heart


Oh I...
I want to be with you everywhere
Oh I...
I want to be with you everywhere
(Wanna be with you everywhere)


Can you hear me calling
Out your name
You know that I'm falling
And I don't know what to say


Come along baby
We better make a start
You better make it soon
Before you break my heart


Oh I...
I want to be with you everywhere
Oh I...
I want to be with you everywhere
Oh I...
I want to be with you everywhere
Oh I...
I want to be with you everywhere
(Wanna be with you everywhere)

Well, it's about time...



I stayed up late, just to get that extra lot of page views before bed.



*sigh*

A lot of people want to talk about it?



Or do they actually just want to mouth off about it?



I think its the latter.



But oh, it's ok to let people post obnoxious flaming shit about other websites, cus they did it first.



Whatever.



Some people have their head way too far up their own ass.

vamplez reminded me...VR made it onto something awful.



Truly, there is no higher accolade to the success of this site, than to be featured in the Great Halls of Sarcasm.



From my forum post:



"So many panties in a twist!



I think it's rather a amusing. And while I can see why you might get upset, consider that I'm on there too, but it doesn't bother me, even though as a moderator of this forum, I am partly responsible for the content which has been allowed.



However, I take issue with the inclusion of a cut from another website, which is a silly error for them to make.



But that they take the time to go through and find the most inane commentary on the site with which to rip the piss, shows that VR has reached a level where it needs a little bit of outside observation and sarcasm."





In other words, "I agree".



>:)

This is my kind of art....

My clicky finger hurts, as does my pinky and the base of my palm.



Eyes are stinging and it's 4.45am.



Forty threads...read and cleaned.



I have been ruthless.



Many, many deleted posts, which were either;



- Off topic

- Nonsensical

- Exceptionally poor English

- I agree

- Interesting

- lol, thx, lmao and similar

- I never knew that

- I have no idea

- Thanks



Every open thread is now capitalised.



Over-Large fonts have been reduced.



Many duplicate posts have been removed.



Several edits made to spelling, where I could be bothered, or it was only a minor error in a decent post.



No-one was banned, no-one warned either, though a few came close.



A few threads deleted outright for being just plain stupid and a couple RIA for redundancy.



Several hours and a headache later, I am going to bed...

Amir Khan just beat Willie Lamond.



I was torn- as a Scotsman, I wanted Lamond to put on a good fight, which he did, but in the end, Khan's class told and it's all over before round eight.



Fantastic fight.

I will of course, be polite, as I cut a swathe through them.

I know that there are people I know offline, here in the UK, who read my journal.



It doesn't bother me half as much as it used to. I guess going to America has been part of easing my mind, but mostly, I just don't care what they might think.



I have my own mind, my own choices and wants, needs and life in general.



Once, certain of these people chose to make anonymous comments on one of my journals elsewhere on the net. I deleted it immediately, the whole journal and cursed them for thinking that they had any right to say what they said.



But now, frankly, their tiny, blinkered minds, can think and say whatever trickles into them, because I've passed the point of being upset that those who would call themselves my friend, would do such a thing.



And if they must say such things, then at least they should have the balls to be up front and let me know who they are.



Funny thing is though, I know who they are, by the manner of their tone, their way of 'speaking' and of the whole feel to their words.



They are no friends of mine, since my friends speak to me as equals, not as some blank and cowardly face.



Au revoir, mon amis.

Commentary on it...



I'm going to be straight up.



I'm not in The Hallowed list, because I have never been able to afford the cost of a lifetime PM.



I also don't remember exactly when I was given the mark of The Prince, but I know that it was not long after being asked to do the Dominar role.



I also wasn't a Sire then, but the mark pushed me over the brink into it, which I kinda liked.



Recently, I feel I've not lived up to expectations, but a nosey biddy told me to remember that if I was doing a bad job of it, I wouldn't be a Dominar and I wouldn't have the mark.



;)

With some twenty or so threads read and cleaned this evening, I wish I could stab myself in the eyes and wake up to find them miraculously healed.

"Transformers sucked."



The very words which I prayed I would never have to read...



*sigh*

I can scarcely believe that I was born almost twenty years before the majority of members on VR...



I keep seeing grey hair in the lift mirror at work.



Damn those neon lights.

Dirty fucking bastards.



Thats all I have to say about them.



Well, actually, it isn't, because my rant to someone got cut off because of the 255 character limit on email to their cellphone, so...





Delta Airlines. Grr. Apparently, the ticket I bought, because it flies through Cincinatti, which isn't a Delta 'gateway' to the states, means that I can't 'backtrack' from Orlando to Atlanta on it, so it would cost me an extra $400...



This, in many legal definitions, is extortion.



But, I got a refund and bought a new ticket, direct to Atlanta, then down to Orlando and back again.



Cost me an extra $150, but ho hum, at least I got a direct flight on a 767...ahh, leg room. lol



The lesson here? Buy early and NOT during peak season! lol (some of us have no choice) :P

I have a burning need to take a flamethrower to the sandbox...



But I'm in such a good mood.



Odd, I know, but there it is. I actually think I am happy.



I managed a smile too.



:)



See!



*sigh*