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I stare out into you dark blue horizons,

wondering about possibilities.

I look at at my possible future,

my last forever out on the see.

And at last I know I am welcomed home.

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Who said love had to mirror corny love songs?

That red roses are always covered in thorns?

With all the thinks i can sit here adn imagine, i just cant imagine happy ending ever really ending happy.

Did anybody ever ask Cinderella if the prince was really her soulmate? I just cant help sit here and think that life is about supposed to's.

Am i one more major sinic?

Propbably but right now i dont care about tiles, happy endings, corny love songs or anything else...but then again isnt that what i am supposed to do?



Dissapointment

Its hard to go and live my life.

Hour by hour working with no profit.

Its hard just living in made up shoes, a story made up so as not to embaress the family.

Its hard to know that I am just like my father, when his failures are the only legacy i have,

But then I guess everything else should be easy, since nothing is harder then facing a life knowing your a dissapointment.



self inflicted love:

The deepest wounds I've ever felt,

were given to me by you.

They left the deepest scars in me,

and proved you could be cruel.

Too bad the thing that hurt the most,

the things that were reflected.

Was all the things i let you do,

my torture self inflicted.



Evil Is:

Evil is not some biblical feature,

a lost angel condemed for his pride.

Evil is not some litereary metaphor,

veiled in victorian prose.

Evil is not the a man dressed in black,

lost in shadows witha greasy mustache.

Evil is not even the uncareing capatlist,

apathetic to the lifes he ignores.

Evil is the ignorance of life, the conformity of a society,

a society where the minority are cannon fodder for the masses in thier size zero prada.

Evil is a human palgue of bipedal parasites,

draining the life out of its mother and host.

Evil is us when we refuse to act, for in out laziness the few damn us all.



Passed over:



Taller,

broader,

bigger,

thicker,

Always moving yet left standing,

In a world that feels like hell.

Never speaking yet always shouting,

soft as a whisper but loud as a bell.

People keep moving a look and a shudder,

thinking i too stupid, so dub i cant tell.

Running when they pass me, a secrative glance,

Another strained moment and still it will pass.

So back i receade into my corner, darkness and quiet becoming my friend,

Back up inot my little black limbo passed over bye people again and again.



I warn ya peopel this one is going to get rather off beat:



Life, Love, and Death

Singlar emotion defined as physical motions bring creation.

Mental processs defining courses.

Emotional connections leading to lifetime commitments.

Psychoscial almost metaphysical surender leading to much more.

Actions takeig shape in heart beats, spaced in seconds and measurd in eternities all leading to the same conclusion....

Life>>>>love>>>>death.



This one gos out to all the exes that ever broke our hearts:



Your alwaysseem to run away from me.

TO avoid me, push me and at times hurt me.

This is too soo you say,

We are moving too fast you say.

Living in wedded bliss must 2 rings equal happiness?

So you got you wish...I am giving you a away out.

Take it, Seize it

Go for the carpe diem illusion, who knows maybe its better this way.

Afterall not all friends can be lovers, and not all lovers are really in love.





Illusions:

People say they love you,

they say they'll never leave.

But when they just cant take you,

they learn to sneak and steal.

They say that want to hold you,

they love you to your core.

They say it till the bitter end,

they say it from the door.

I thought you really listened,

I thought you really cared.

I thought you were a kindred child,

reaching out when you were scared.

That was untill i needed you,

I needed you to understand.

I wanted to be honest,

you were happy with pretend.

So instead of dealing with me,

you ignore me and like i'm not there.

Thats what i get for trusting,

for hoping life was fair.



Ok here is my venting point. People suck!! Why is it when you try and be friendly they treat you like crap, and when you want to left alone they want to be your friend. Why is it something as polite as a hello never seems to be enough and when you try and open up, you get shunned. Friends what a joke!!!



venting point 2:

Note to self...dont ever develope feelings for people...you will only be dissapointed in the end.

I was born into an unfinished world,

an incomplete person waiting for the climax.

Born into flesh I knew wasnt mine,

Born to a mother I cant really love.

I thought I understood myself,

But not untill you did I find clarity.

Your lite surrounding me a halo of self realism,

Your children pulling at me to join the run.

Your face offering me confort,

a sensation not found before.

Your my answer, my conclusion,

My guide, my moonlit mother

I stand outside in space,

waiting for natures baptism.

Each drop cascadeing over my body,

kissing me with promises of forgivenes.