The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Why do I do the things that I do?

Answer, I have no fuckin clue. I just go with the moment and for some reason, people hate me. I don't play life by the rules and people hate me. If it happens oh well. Then again, people don't usually find out.

When people find out, it hurts them, then it hurts you because you hurt them.

I have never played life by the rules and do not intend to start now. Shit happensm seconds fly by and whatever happens will come to pass no stopping it. I cheated and only regret it becuase I hurt a person I love.

I do not regret because I consider it a part of life.

I am perhaps dealing with a mad man, but I consider myslef mas at times as well.

As I constantly wish to leave this life.

Recently that has been on my mind an awful lot. I have been to the fucken hospital for this, they didn't do shit! No one can do anything for me. I will go on living like a murdous villan, traveling the earth, taking what I must.

I suppose I will no longer meet another soul, as I only ruin those I attempt to capture.

Every heart I have held within my palm has been left black and burnt.

I don't know how to do anything else but fuck up. I don't understand how I am going to be getting my GED, I almost see it as impossible, completeing somthing? Why the fuck would I want to do that!

I am dealing with alot right now, I am not actually dealing with it. My blood is boiling and my thoughts are raising. A sharp blade coming into my mind every other second. So many times have I said, "God, take me now!"

I am happy when Josh speaks to me, he livens my heart and gives a purpose to my beating heart. But when others speak of him the way they do, when I watched him steal my money TWICE!

Why not just die now! I'm not a strong person when it comes to this shit. I need to be tucked away, never to be seen or heard from again, perhaps that is what I need. What to do, what to do. Whose life should I fuck up next!