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I am sick of this feeling that I cannot explain.

I am sick of myslef the only thing I blame.

Why do I stay here unable to control my lif nad thoughts stuck in this dark hole.

I never do things right, or think of what i should do.

Why I am I stuck here not knowing anything. Inside or out. Nothing seems right. This isn't me, I have changed so much.

I am so different

What have I done to turn out like this.

I dont understand anything at all.

Life itself or my purpose for being here.

I know u think its stupid not knowing the reasons of my life or reasons to live a frusterating tail. To deal with this shit and get over it.

In my mind its harder than those bitches think to end it all, and get along with those who i never get.

I cannot stand this shit any longer.I am not getting anywhere in this fucked up town. Everyone seems to get along, its all happy and fucken preppy where everyone puts on a smile. WHAT The Hell? I know I am judging it quite early since I am not in school yet. But I am fucking stuck here! My Mother wont let me hang with friends, she wants me to freakin hang with here cuz she enjoys it! Be'n with ppl she loves, but I am freakin 17! What the hell will she do when I m gone, even though I may not graduate it makes me entirely legal to live on my own, and i wont be momys little girl anymore! My sister fucken misses me although I am right next to her. We are twins and we are almost completely different. But I hang with her every day! I tell ppl secrets cuz it feels like I cant talk 2 her. I cant fucken be myself around her. I know I act like a stupid imature teen when I am with my friends, but thats what we all do, its freakin normal!

Oh well, I try to deal with it, but the more I am stuck here, the more I go insane, And i am getting that feeling of cutting again.