I am smitten with life today.
All over again, I feel bubbly. I feel ... fresh and like I've a sappy grin on my soul.
Today is good.
Which Family Guy character are you? Stewie Griffin You are an anarchist, a thespian, and you hate your family (especially your mom) as well as pickels. For Christmas, you want either a dead Lois or some plutonium. Also, you can do a lounge version of Rocket Man by Elton John. |
Click Here to Take This QuizBrought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. |
I just got told that I am almost normal enough to know that i'm weird, but too damn weird to do anything about it.
As if that were a bad thing.
*hmph*
My doctor is rather interesting, I think.
He is trying everything we can to avoid putting me on antipsychotics.
Ahh, I see I should explain that.
I keep having random urges to maim people.
Example one:
I was sitting beside my roomie, having a conversation, and I caught myself about to put my cigarette out on the side of his neck.
Because his expression of pain, confusion and betrayal would be funny.
I caught myself, I said. I did not complete the act.
Example two:
Was opening mail at the office. Caught myself about to impale my boss' hand and secure it to my desk with the letter opener.
Same reason as above, I think, only, hey, the letter opener is sword shaped. I wanted to see if it worked.
There are a few more examples, but I'll leave it at them.
It's not that I think these acts would be wrong, mind you. I see no reason not to do them, other than the consequences would inconvenience me.
I understand most other people think these things would be "bad." That is why I decided to see a doc about it.
So.
Some of my choices for antipsychotics:
Stelazine: It'll do the trick but may cause PERMANENT TWITCHING called Tardive Dyskinesia.
Risperdal: Same as above.
Mellaril: Heat stroke and seizures. How fun.
Haldol: Tardive Dyskinesia and/or Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome are distinct possibilities. NMS is a potentially fatal symptom complex sometimes referred to as Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome (NMS) has been reported in association with antipsychotic drugs. Clinical manifestations of NMS are hyperpyrexia, muscle rigidity, altered mental status (including catatonic signs) and evidence of autonomic instability (irregular pulse or blood pressure, tachycardia, diaphoresis, and cardiac dysrhythmias). Additional signs may include elevated creatine phosphokinase, myoglobinuria (rhabdomyolysis) and acute renal failure.
There is also one that could possibly make me lactate.
I vote for alternative methods or maiming people.
So far, our alternative methods have been:
1. Stepping up (no pun intended) my exercise. I get up early and go walking an hour or two every morning.
2. Radically altering my diet. No caffiene, no carbonated beverages, alcohol in extreme moderation (not so big an alteration there), lowering my sugar intake, and changing to a mostly vegetarian diet. We are hoping this last may have a beneficial effect on my agression levels.
3. My doctor, gods bless the man, actualy suggested I masturbate on a regular basis, whether or not I am getting nookie. =)
In the past few weeks I've been following the above, I've noticed I have fewer ... episodes? of wanting to carve my fellow humans.
Hopefully the alternative methods will continue to work.
I'd really like to avoid catatonia, twitches, coma, lactation and seizures. And jail.
*sigh*
If I see one more active soulmates thread at the same time I am going to shriek.
It would be different if it had been at least a few days since one of the other active three fell off the front page, but DAMN!
FOUR ACTIVE THREADS AT THE SAME TIME?!
It's a little excessive.
There is a gentleman, in the original and truest sense of the word, with whom I have been speaking.
I am honestly considering learning a freindship with him.
I don't initiate or allow myself to be drawn into real friendships very often.
People are simply not constant, myself included.
But he is smart and makes me laugh and think.
I enjoy it when people stimulate my brain. It makes me realize why I am working so hard to control some of my more atavistic urges, because some people are worth allowing to continue breathing.
So, yay him.
Read a thread on this. I couldn't believe I had never read this in its entirety ... so here it is.
*****************************************************
The Black Veil
*THE BLACK VEIL
The Black Veil, also known as the "13 Rules of the Community" was composed by Father Todd of House Sahjaza, Michelle Belanger of House Kheperu and COVICA as an voluntary standard of common sense, etiquette and ideals for the greater vampyre/vampire community.
Although copyright 1997-2001 by Father Todd and Michelle Belanger, the Black Veil is an open licensed text available for reproduction on related websites or in print for organizations and individuals who wish to promote it's concepts and ideals. All that is asked is that the Black Veil not be changed, amended or modified in ANY way and include the text and links detailed between the asterisks * here.
1. DISCRETION
This lifestyle is private and sacred. Respect it as such. Use discretion in who you reveal yourself to, and make certain that your motives are to truly communicate about our culture and to engender understanding. By no means should you talk to others about yourself and our community when your motives are for selfish reasons such as self-promotion, sensationalism, and attention-getting.
Do not hide from your nature, but never show it off to the those who won't understand.
2. DIVERSITY
Our paths are many, even though the journey we are on is essentially the same. No single one of us has all the answers to who and what we are. Respect everyone's personal views and practices. We cannot let petty differences of ideology prevent us from maintaining a unified community; there are enough who would attack us from the outside.
Our diversity is our strength. Let our differences in viewpoint enrich us but never divide us upon ourselves.
3. SAFETY
Use sense when indulging your nature. Do not flaunt what you are in public places. Feed in private and make certain your donors will be discrete about what happens between you. Donors who create rumors and gossip about us are more harm than they're worth. If you engage in blood-letting, put safety and caution above all other things. Blood-born diseases are a very real thing, and we cannot risk endangering ourselves or others through irresponsibility. Screen donors carefully, making certain they are in good health both mentally and physically.
Never overindulge or get careless. The safety of the entire community rests upon each member's caution.
4. CONTROL
We cannot and should not deny the darkness within. Yet we should not allow it to control us. If our beast or shadow or darkside is given too much sway, it clouds our judgment, making us a danger even to those we love. Never indulge in pointless violence. Never bring willful harm to those who sustain you. Never feed only for the sake of feeding, and never give over to mindless bloodlust. We are not monsters: we are capable of rational thought and self-control.
Celebrate the darkness and let it empower you, but never let it enslave your will.
5. LIFESTYLE
Live your life as an example to others in the community. We are privileged to be what we are, but power should be accompanied by responsibility and dignity. Explore and make use of your vampire nature, but keep it in balance with material demands. Remember: we may be vampires, but we are still a part of this world. We must live lives like everyone else here, holding jobs, keeping homes, and getting along with our neighbors. Being what we are is not an excuse to not participate in this reality.
Rather, it is an obligation to make it a better place for us to be.
6. FAMILY
We are, all of us, a family, and like all families, various members will not always get along. However, respect the greater community when having your disputes. Do not let your individual problems bring emotional strife to the family as a whole. Settle your differences quietly among one another, only seeking out an elder's aid in mediation when no other solution seems possible. Never bring your private disputes into public places and never draw other family members into the issue by forcing them to take sides.Like any normal family, we should always make an effort to present a stable and unified face to the rest of the world even when things are not perfect between us.
7. HAVENS
Our havens are safeplaces where everyone in the community can come to socialize. There are also often public places where we are likely to encounter people who don't understand our ways. We should respect the patrons of these places as we should also respect the owners of the establishments and always be discrete in our behavior. We should never bring private disputes into a haven. We should never initiate violence in a haven. And we should never do or bring anything illegal into a haven, as this reflects badly upon the community as a whole.The haven is the hub of the whole community, and we should respect it as such, supporting it without business and working to improve its name in the scene so that we can always call it home.
8. TERRITORY
The community is extensive and diverse. Every city has a different way of doing things, and a different hierarchy of rule. When entering a new city, you should familiarize yourself with the local community. Seek out the local havens. Learn what households have sway here. Get in touch with key members of the community, learn who is who, and show proper respect where it is due. You should not expect to impose your old way of doing things on this new scene. Rather you should adapt to their rules and be glad of their acceptance. Always be on your best behavior when coming to a new city either to visit or to stay. We are all cautious and territorial by nature, and only by making the most positive impression possible will you be accepted and respected in a new community.
9. RESPONSIBILITY
This lifestyle is not for everyone. Take care in who you choose to bring into it. Those who are mentally or emotionally unstable have no place among us. They are dangerous and unreliable and may betray us in the future. Make certain that those you choose to bring in are mature enough for this burden. Teach them control and discretion, and make certain that they respect our ways. You will be responsible for their actions, and their behavior in the community will be reflected back to you.
10. ELDERS
There are certain members of our community who have established themselves as just and responsible leaders. These are the people who helped establish local communities, who organize havens, and who work to coordinate the networking of the scene. While their word does not have to be law, they should nevertheless be respected. They have greater experience than many others, and usually greater wisdom. Seek these elders out to settle your disputes, to give you guidance and instruction, and to help you establish yourself in the local scene.
Appreciate the elders for all they have given you: if it was not for their dedication, the community would not exist as it does now.
11. DONORS
Without those who offer themselves body and soul to us, we would be nothing. We cannot be other than what we are, but it is the donors who sustain our nature. For this service, they should be respected. Never mistreat your donors, physically or emotionally. They are not to be manipulated or leeched off of for more than what they freely offer. Never take them for granted. Appreciate them for the companionship and acceptance which they offer us, which so many others would refuse.
This above all: appreciate the gift of their life. That communion is sacred. Never fail to treat it as such.
12. LEADERSHIP
When you choose to take a position of authority in the community, remember that you do not lead for yourself alone. Leadership is a responsibility, not a privilege. A good leader must set an example for everyone through his actions and behavior. His motives should be selfless and pure, and he should put the interests of the whole community before his own.
The best leaders are those who serve to better the community and whose person and behavior gives no one -- even those outside of the community -- a reason to criticize them.
13. IDEALS
Being a vampire is not just about feeding upon life. That is what we do, but not necessarily what we are. It is our place to represent darkness in a world blinded by light. We are about being different and accepting that difference as something that empowers us and makes us unique. We are about accepting the dark within ourselves and embracing that darkness to make us whole beings. We are about celebrating the thresholds: body and spirit, pleasure and pain, death and life. Our lives should be lived as a message to the world about the beauty of accepting the whole self, of living without guilt and without shame, and celebrating the unique and beautiful essence of every single soul.
Sociopath You are 71% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 85% Brutal, and 71% Arrogant. |
You are the Sociopath! As a result of your cold, calculating rationality, your introversion (and ability to keep quiet), your brutality, and your arrogance, you would make a very cunning serial killer. You care very little for the feelings of others, possibly because you are not a very emotional person. You are also very calculating and intelligent, making you a perfect criminal mastermind. Also, you are a very arrogant person, tending to see yourself as better than others, providing you a strong ability to perceive others as weak little animals, thus making it easier to kill them. In short, your personality defect is the fact that you could easily be a sociopath, because you are calculating, unemotional, brutal, and arrogant. Please don't kill me for writing mean things about you!
1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive. 2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted. 3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle. 4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.
Compatibility:
|
Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid |
Ok. I found this VERY amusing.
Vladislavs' comment in my profile, since he got a premium membership:
"GREETINGS....... HERE IS A 3 TO MATCH YOUR RATING TO MY PROFILE"
My message to him:
LOL
"Here is a 3 to match the rating you gave my profile"
Did ya ever stop to think you might not have done very much with the profile at the time I had rated it, and asking me to re-rate? Instead of being snarky?
And why would you think anyone else's rating really matters to me?
Silly.
If you want me to re-rate, let me know. Since ya got snarky, unless you ask me to re-rate, it will stand.
****
LOL
HIS response, was to put in my portfolio:
"FUCK OFF YOU FAT BITCH!!"
*snrk*
Childish people are funny. =D It sounded like he meant bitch was a bad thing.
***
Additional edit:
And now his comments have disappeared. =) BUt he did keep a rating there - it's now a 1.
Why does this make me giggle so?
Because he assumes the screen name of a truly famous sociopath but his teeth are blunted? He thinks low rates and sniping snarky comments actually ... ooo ... make any kind of wave?
I am having fun poking fun at him.
=)
Is it petty of me that I want him to seethe at my indifference? That seeing the vein in the middle of his forehead throb as he irritates himself towards a stroke would make me giggle?
Probably.
*shrug*
Have I mentioned medication may be an option for me? lol
***
Signed,
The Crazy Lady
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