WHen I was stumbling on the rocks of life
who was there to help me rise?
When I was falling through the endless night
who was there to hear my cries?
I think back on those lonely things
and know it wasn't you
Because as much as I needed lifting
you always seemed to need it to.
I was there for you to lean upon
when times were getting tough
but you couldn't seem to bolster me
when my life had gotten rough.
I can not seem to understand
how life had turned this way,
for looking in your vacant eyes
there is nothing I can say.
FOr once you were the mother
and once I was the child
once I had niavete,
oh how once I smiled.
Now I am an emtpy husk
searching for my tears
becoming your carbon copy
is the greatest of all my fears
But I'll learn to turn my back away
even though you need me now
Perhaps you'll see the light this time
to understand somehow.
I say to you goodbye
For you are no longer my mother,
I say to you farewell
SO that I may love another.
I sit with empty eyes,
pieces of my soul falling down from the ebony sky,
a wash of red lava tears streaming down my face.
Cursed is this soul that I walk in,
tired are the feet that god has given me
trudging across of this life
wasted in the glory of repentance.
My throat is shriveled from screaming out to the unknown
my eyes have shrunken into the back of my skull,
peering out at those
with the courage to gaze in at me.
So many days have gone,
that days are nights and those that are to come
have already gone past
those that are past are distant dreams.
There are those that would scream
there are those that would pound their feet on distance sands
there are those that would whisper into the ears of another.
I have wasted my breath for too long,
my unripe shoulders are burdened
stones of age grind between my young bones,
My body and soul have grown old without me.
This weight,
this is the weight that all feel.
The thing that none dare speak its name.
Such a small thing.
A tortured thing,
bound and dragged through endless times and memories.
When the rain falls down from the endless sky,
I’ll wake to visions of auroras and sparkling twilight moons.
I’ll wake to things behind my mind.
Deep down things
red hot things.
Burning with heat to turn the face of the jealous sun.
To wake in that other place,
to leave behind wasted tears,
to leave behind broken hearts
and twisted dreams.
Perhaps in that other life
perhaps in that other place.
Angels wait to hold me,
Loved ones call to me,
Happiness waits like a shining star in the distance.
So close, and yet so far away.
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