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My small Circle of Friends - I love and appreciate you!!!
21:13 Nov 26 2017 Times Read: 424
As one grows older - circle of friends will get smaller. You will realize who is real and who is not. Those that are not true or loyal will eventually leave. It may hurt at first, but you must realize it is for the best. When times are hard for you - you will lose even more friends. But relax, they were not real friends to begin with.
I think I am down to 6 REAL friends. And I am okay with that. We check in on each other randomly, sometimes daily. Without saying a word, they know I hurt or that I am stressed and will help in any way they can. I appreciate all of you. You all are my life line and I am blessed to have you in my life.
real friends, I think I have just one that lives in my area, and many other ppl I call friends are more like acquaintances. In all reality, my spouse has been there for me at all times so he is truly my best friend.
I only keep 3 close friends.....1 fairly new and the other 2 I have had for years. Those 2 know when to bring the shovel lol
So many thoughts....only growth remains.
01:09 Nov 23 2017 Times Read: 431
I love and hate my profession. Mental Health is not an easy path....to have it has a career and then come home to it....Yes I took this on knowing full well the possible outcomes. But just because I understand and know the logic and know the symptoms and know the triggers - this does not mean that the behaviors are alright. Yes I feel alone, yes I realize I am not as strong as I should be, yes I am full of flaws....yes I fuck up too. But for years, you left me to deal with everything on my own....now I have to take care of myself and our kids. You have been set free. Rediscover yourself, heal yourself...all I want is for you to be mentally & physically healthy and happy.
So, this is for you - so that you know I understand and still care no matter what happens in life.
And this next song....this is just so you know that I do understand you...not just on a psychological or trauma level...but much deeper....I have always seen you - the real you.
I understand this feeling youre going through I really do minus the kids
16:01 Nov 15 2017 Times Read: 451
Things just get darker, more complicated. I am finding yet more people that I call "friend" leaving me in my dire time of need. Cool. Rather only have a handful of friends than those who use me or are fake.
3 job interviews this week....busy week.
Ran out of gas twice so far....I have to go to another job interview this afternoon, I will most likely run out of gas again. FML SMH
I will be keeping 4 of my profiles :RayneAsylum, SweetInsanity, KeepersoftheAsylum, and one other.
The following are up for grabs or will be deleted by tonight:
untamedmalice - given to John to be gifted again
littlegeisha - given to John to be gifted again
hauntingyou - given away to Marci
beccababygirl - given away to Marci
sweetmalice - given away to Anton
I will only be on to check messages from time to time.
As some of you may know, I have been finding my way through a divorce. We have come across another crossroad. He finds it odd that I am at peace while tears of a broken heart fall down his face. But as he spoke his those words, I cannot help but feel a weight lifted. Of all that is going on right now...all that has gone wrong....this gives me relief to hear him say he will leave and I can have my own life. I cannot explain this, but it is relief. I know that no matter what he and I will remain friends, as we started out friends. I worry about him though, on his own...will he fall back into old habits and become a hermit or another faceless person in San Antonio? He doesn't even want the house. He said that he would stay until I get a new job and got caught up on bills. Once I have done that, he will move out and I will be free. We just have to wait for certain financial things to pass, then the divorce will be final.
I can breathe a bit better now.
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