The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I have worked with at risk youth for over 4 years now. I have seen some kids succeed and thrive and overcome all the negative and traumatizing things they have endured. I have seen many more fall through the cracks and/or fall back into the vicious cycle of abuse and neglect. I can handle that all that for the most part. But what upsets me the most, what tugs at my heart the most....is when I am actively working with a kiddo and he or she has all the potential, all the dreams, all things going for him or her...and he or she throws it away.He or she rather have people hate them and look down on them than encourage them or lift them up. A girl wants to have a baby just to be loved but no matter what I say or other counselors or staff say to empower her, it is simply not enough. All she says is "shut the fuck up Miss" or "Mister, I will have my dad shoot you in the head". Or its the boy who lashes out when he doesn't get his way and self harms cause he can't be where he wants to be. No matter how many times I remind him of all the good in his life....nothing compares to that moment when he was told "no, you cannot get on the computer right now, homework first". He rips all homework up and wants to give up on everything...on life....
All the kids I work with have a special place in my heart....I realize I cannot help everyone, but damn it! I try!!! SO when the higher ups prevent me from doing my job and the system enables the negative behaviors.....my hands feel tied. It breaks my heart. The system is not perfect by no means....but fuck...I don't want to harden my heart. I don't want to be jaded. I don't want to give up on any kiddos....
But today was hard...SMH SO VERY HARD. We are only as strong as our weakest link. And if that link says "fuck it, let them do whatever" and that link is enabling the negativity...it ,makes my job that much harder. I have to pick and choose my battles....I cannot ignore 10+ other kids to just focus on this one and try to save her and fight against the weak link.