Mary, Mary...
03:16 Aug 22 2008
Times Read: 728
"Mary...Mary...quite...contrary. Mary...Mary...quite...contrary" the voices of young children sang. The song seemed to fill the playground with an omnious sound. The girls dressed in white danced around Mary in a circle, with her in the middle, as the teachers watched without concern. As the singing continued there seemed to be an echo forming inside her head causing pain. Tears ran down young Mary's cheeks and still they sang without consequence from the teachers keeping watch nearby.
With a jolt Mary woke up in a cold sweat. She sat up in her bed with the song echoing in her mind. She looked over at the clock which read six a.m. After ten years she still couldn't escape the torment she went through at the age of six.
She had always been different from the other kids in her school. She dressed in black clothes, dark eyeliner, and either red or black lipstick. Others dressed the same, but her hair was naturally black not dyed with colors like red, purple, or blue streaks. She also didn't have a lot of piercings. Her ears were the only pierced part on her slender body. It was never a fad for her as with others. She also didn't complain a lot about life or her parents. She didn't cut, or mutilate herself in anyway, and she didn't smoke, do drugs, or even drink. She didn't try to hang out with the "goths" as they put it. She didn't want to be associated with that crowd. She was different from them although she didn't look it.
She climbed out of bed. She chose a long, black skirt and a black and brown shirt with bell sleeves. She looked in the mirror long enough to apply her make up and to brush her hair. Satisfied she sat back on her bed. She put on a pair of black socks and slipped her low cut boots over her feet. She went down stairs.
When she entered the kitchen her mother was making breakfast. "Did you get your homework done?" she asked.
"I did it last night." Mary answered honestly.
"I'm making some blueberry oatmeal if you want some." she said.
"No thanks, mom. I need to head to school." she said picking up her backpack and walked out the door.
As she strolled down the street she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned quickly, her long hair hitting her on her cheek, and saw her friend Kassie standing there. "You must have been really zoned out." Kassie said.
"What do you mean?"
"I called your name three times and you never looked back. Is something bothering you?"
"No. I was just thinking of the dream I had last night."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really."
When they got to school the two friends said their farewells and headed into two different directions. Although Kassie had been her best friend for the last five years Mary always wondered why, but never asked.
Kassie was on of the rich girls in the school. She always wore designer clothes and kept her short wavy hair neatly brushed. Like Mary Kassie didn't hang around with the other rich kids at the school. She thought they were snobbish and the two of them would make comments about them when they were alone.
Later that day as Mary walked to her last class of the day Kassie ran up to her. "Did you hear?" she asked with worry.
"You know you're the only one that really talks to me. Hear what?"
"One of the "goth" kids slit her wrists in the girl's room. There was blood everywhere and..."
"Is she going to be okay?" Mary asked cutting her friend off.
"She's dead. There was no note or anything, from what I've been told. She just went in the girl's room and did it. The razor blade was laying right by her body when she was found. They took her body away a few minutes ago. Some of the kids are saying that it's typical that one of them would do such a thing."
"That's horrible. Why would anyone say that?" she asked knowing the answer.
"They are telling the students to go home, because of the investigation." Kassie said.
The two walked to Mary's locker to retrieve her homework before leaving the school. She couldn't believe that some one would actually commit suicide during school. It was something she never expected from anyone.
The two friends walked home in silence. A few blocks away a dark blue car stopped. It was Kassie's father. "Kassie, get in. The school called and I want you to come home. Mary, do you need a ride home? I'm sure your mother is worried."
"No. I want to walk home. It's only a couple of blocks more. Thank you for the offer." Mary responded politely.
"Be safe." he said as he drove off. Mary waved at her friend.
Her mother was waiting for her when she got home. "Is everything okay?" she asked. "The school called and told me what had happened. I was so worried. I thought it might have been you."
"I am fine. How could you think it was me? I've never been suicidal a day in my life." Mary asked feeling worse than she had before.
"I don't know. When a parent gets a call like that I think most worry it could be their child. I'm sorry. Do you have homework?"
"I'm going to my room to do it now."
"Are you sure you should be alone at a time like this?" her mother asked concerned.
"I'm fine, mom. Really."
"Did you know the girl?"
"No, I ddin't. I don't know most of the people at that school. Kassie is the only friend I hang out with. Can I go to my room and do my homework? I would like to get it done before dinner." Mary said ajusting her backpack.
"Sure. I will call you when dinner is ready."
"Thanks, mom." she said heading up the stairs.
She was glad when she shut the door. She set her backpack, which felt heavier than usual, on the bed. She sat down and took her books out of her bag. She only had homework in one class. Her favorite class which is Biology. She was wanting to major in it in college.
She read the chapter and easily answered the questions at the end. She decided to read the couple chapters and answered those questions. She figured get done ahead of time and all she would have to worry about the rest of her classes.
She knew school was going to be different tomorrow. There will be a lot of talk about the girl. The principal might even have an assembly to let the students know that they can talk to any of the staff members if they need to.
During dinner Mary ate her food silently. Her mother glanced at her, but didn't say a word. She knew if Mary wanted to talk she would and wasn't going to push the matter.
Mary washed her plate and put in the drainer as she has done every night since she was twelve. She knew she was old enough to do most things on her own even at that age.
She told her mother good night and went to her room. She walked up the stairs with the death still her thoughts.
She turned on her computer. After checking her email she went to her web page and posted a blog. It read:
We had a tragedy at our school today. A girl committed suicide in the girl's bathroom. Although I didn't know the girl I still feel a sense of loss. I couldn't imagine what she was thinking when she did it. It was as if she had given up and decided that suicide was her only way out. What could have happened for her to do such an awful thing? I can't even imagine what her parents are feeling now other than a sense of loss. Have parents ever thought their child would kill themselves? Probably not. How could any parent even think of loosing a child? I know I couldn't deal with it. I would probably go insane if I had a child who did something like that. I don't plan on being a mother for a long time, but I couldn't imagine if this was to happen. Of course the school called and my mother was concerned as any other. She asked me questions. I answered them. I am not looking forward to school tomorrow. The atmosphere isn't going to be the same. I know the students will be talking and probably the staff. My only question was why she was dead before anyone found her. I'm sure people had been in and out of that restroom most of the day. If there is an assembly tomorrow I will ask.
When she was finished she felt a little better getting all of that off her chest. She didn't like telling her mom how she really felt because she would worry even more and she didn't want that. She turned off the computer and went to bed.
The next morning she woke up with a terrible feeling. She dreaded going to school. She didn't want to hear what the students and staff would be saying about the death.
When she got to school it was business as usual. She didn't hear anyone talking about the girl. It was as if nothing had happened. She looked for Kassie. Mary found her waiting for her at her locker.
"Have you heard anyone talking about yesterday?" Mary asked.
"No. It's strange it's as if nothing happened. My neighbors didn't even talk about it. It might be that no body wants to talk about it."
"Maybe they don't care."
"Why do you care so much? You didn't even know her." Kassie asked looking at her friend as they walked down the hall.
"Don't you? I mean it's not every day some one takes their own life in our school or any other school as a matter of fact."
"Oh...did your mother ask you a bunch of questions about it yesterday?" Kassie asked.
"A lot. She even thought it could have been me?" Mary said.
"You? That's ridiculous. How could she think that?"
"I don't know, but she did."
"We better get to class before we're late. The last thing I need is detention. My parents would be pissed." Kassie said walking away.
"I'll talk to you after school."
The day went by slowly. She waited the whole time for someone to say something, but no one did. Rumors spread like wildfire through the school. You would think there would have been some surrounding what happened, but no one mentioned it. Mary found it unbelievable. It was as if no one missed her.
Kassie was waiting in her usual spot, by Mary's locker. "It was so wierd. After what you said this morning I couldn't concentrate in any of my classes." Kassie said.
"Did you ask any one about it?"
"No. Did you?"
"No. I wanted to, but I guess I thought some one would say something. Even the rumor queen, Rani, didn't say anything and I thought for sure she would be the first one to." Mary said making sure Rani wasn't around to hear what she had said not that she really cared.
"I know. It's just hard to believe."
Once again the friends walked partly home together. When they got to their usual corner where they part ways Mary was surprised Kassie's father wasn't waiting for her after what happened yesterday.
"Well, I got to get home. I have tons of homework tonight." Kassie said giving her friend a quick hug. Mary hugged her back and whispered her goodbye.
Her mother wasn't home when Mary arrived home. She was probably still at work. She checked the answering maching for messages. Finding none she grabbed a glass of water and went to her room.
She quickly got on her computer to see if she had any comments on her blog. She didn't even though she had twenty hits since last night. She decided to post another.
Today there was no mention of the girl's suicide. It was as if it didn't happen. I begin to wonder if anyone really cared. I mean some one kills themselves you would think some one would say something. I wanted to, but I really didn't have anyone I was close enough to bring it up other than my friend Kassie. She felt it was strange no one was talking about it. Not the students. Not the staff. It was like any other day. What happened to the days when people cared about others?
Suddenly Mary heard the front door shut. She knew her mother was home. She quickly shut the computer off and went down to greet her.
"How was school?" she asked.
"It was fine." Mary said keeping her answer short.
"Sorry, I had to work late today. You know how it is when paper work builds up. Maybe you don't. You've always made sure your homework was done on time." her mother said smiling. "I better start dinner. I don't want you to starve."
"I can cook, mom. You just don't want me to."
"I know. You're only a kid once. You will soon be out on your own. Who will I care for then? Let me do this for a little longer, okay?"
"Okay, mom." Mary said smiling to herself.
"Is your homework done?"
"Yep. I read a head and did it last night."
"You can watch television until dinner is done." her mother said walking into the kitchen.
Mary sat down on the couch wondering why her mother didn't mention yesterday. She turned on the television. Finding nothing on she turned it off and retreated to her room. She turned on her stormy relaxation cd and laid back on her bed.
The playground was void of all people. Not one child stood in the grass. Mary found herself standing by a swing the blew gently in the breeze. She sat down on it and allowed her foot to move her.
The silence seemed almost deafening. She had never seen it so empty. There was normally two or three children playing even after school hours. She wasn't sure what to think.
Suddenly Mary heard a sound behind her. She looked and, of course, no one was there. Mary thought she was being paranoid. She heard it again. It sounded like pebbles being kicked across asphalt. There was two problems. For one the playground didn't have gravel, and the other the wasn't a black top. The parking lot was on the other side of the school. She wouldn't have heard it from that far off.
Mary opened her eyes with a knock at her door. She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep.
"Mary, are you alright?" her mother asked through the door.
"I'm fine, mom. I must have fallen asleep that's all." she replied rubbing her eyes.
"Dinner's done."
"I'll be down in a minute."
"Don't be too long. You don't want it to get cold."
Seconds later he mother's footsteps were heard retreating down the hall.
Once again dinner was eaten in silence. Mary couldn't shake the dream. The haunting emptiness of it bothered her. Like a robot she cleared her dishes and washed them.
As soon as she entered her room her phone rang. Kassie was on the other end. "Are you watching the news?" she asked almost in a panic.
"No. Why?" Mary asked with concern for her friend.
"There had been another suicide at the school. The janitor found her body around four this afternoon. Same as before. She found found in the girl's room and she had slit her wrists. The razor was found by the body." It's the same scenario, but different girl."
"Who was it?"
"It was Rani. Can you believe it? Rani killed herself."
"Why would she? She had so much going for her. She was heading to college next year" Mary said suddenly feeling back for all the mean things they had said behind her back. "People will be talking about this tomorrow. She was too popular not to."
"The sad part, other than her being dead, a few students are going to be glad she did it. To make things worse, I think I may be one of them. I'm am such a horrible person." Kassie said breaking down.
"Kassie, calm down. You're not a horrible person. Why don't you relax in a warm bath and listen to that relaxation cd I gave you. The one with the ocean waves crashing on the beach. You just need to calm down and don't worry about anything. We can deal with things tomorrow together." Mary said trying to comfort her friend.
"Okay. I will." Kassie didn't even say goodbye before hanging up.
The next morning when Mary woke up her mother had already left for work. She grabbed and apple and headed for school.
When she arrived Kassie was standing outside or at her locker as she usually does. She was getting worried, especially since she was so upset last night.
She began walking down the hall to her first class when she felt a light tap on her shoulder. It was Kassie. Mary hugged her in a tight embrace.
"Don't ever do that to me again." she said.
"Sorry. My alarm didn't go off this morning." Kassie said taking a step back. "What's wrong with you today?"
"I was just getting worried about you. I thought maybe your parents made you stay home after everything that's happened." Mary said regaining her composure.
"Wouldn't do any good to stay home. It won't make it go away. Besides I would only think about it all day and that wouldn't do any good either."
"You're right." Mary agreed as they parted ways.
The school day went so slow she thought she was trapped in a never ending slow motion scene in a movie, and there was no escape.
As with yesterday there was no mention of Rani's suicide. It was as if she had been forgotten.
Mary thought, for a moment, that she was in a dream and the suicides never really happened. Maybe she only imagined them as morbid as that was. She couldn't believe she would want anyone dead, but in a dream anything is possible.
"Are you alright?" Kassie asked pulling Mary out of her trance.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Mary asked with slight confusion.
"You've been staring at your locker for the past five minutes." she said with a smile.
"What? How did I get here?" she asked out loud.
"You walked." Kassie said sarcastically. "Hurry up. School's out and I've got to get home. Mom is baking a chicken tonight. I told her I would help."
"I didn't know you could cook." Mary commented with the same sarcasm.
"Let's go." she said with a laugh.
"I noticed no one talked about what happened with Rani. You would think that Rani's death would have been the topic of the day." Mary said on the walk home.
"I know what you mean. It's like everyone is oblivious to everything lately. Two suicides in two days and nothing is said. My family hadn't talked about it since the first time it happened, and the next day it seemed forgotten." Kassie said thinking about it.
"Neither has my mother. It's as if they are being told to forget by some higher power." Mary said.
"That's ridiculous. What higher power?"
"I don't know, but there has to be some reason no one is talking about it. Think about it. Two suicides, and one was even on the news and not a word is spoken. Don't you find that wierd?"
"Yes, I do, but I've decided not to dwell on it. At least not to the extent I'm inventing theories about mind control and such." Kassie replied exasperated with her coming up with theories to deal with the ordeal.
Kassie's mother was waiting for her at the usual corner where the two friends part ways. "I'll see you tomorrow." Kassie shouted out the car window. Mary just waved at her friend.
Mary's mother was once again working late. She decided to make dinner. She made a salad with fetaccini with alfredo sauce. Mary was setting the table when her mother walked through the door. Mary had the food on the table just as she walked into the dining room.
"Dinner looks great." her mother said in a grateful tone.
"Thanks. I thought I would make dinner since you've had to work late the past couple of days." Mary said with a smile.
The two of them sat down at the table. "How was your day?" she asked her mother not wanting another silent night at the table.
"Fine. How was school?"
"Same thing different day." she replied keeping her thoughts to herself.
In her room she decided to go to her website and post her thoughts there.
Could there be any such thing as mind control? One of the most popular students committed suicide at school yesterday. It was even on the news. Once again, today, no one said anything. Our parents didn't even mention it. It was as if nothing had happened. This is why I ask the question of mind control. Could some higher power be forcing people into forgetting or at the very least keep people silent about what's been going on? You would think parents would have more concern for their children when something tragic had happened. What is it going to take for everyone to open their eyes and see something is going on and take action before it happens again. Maybe then all of us could prevent it from happening again. Some one needs to speak out for those who can't.
Mary eneder her blog. She checked to see if there were any comments on the previous ones. There were none. She decided not even look at the counter. She didn't care as long as some one was reading it. She turned off the computer and went to bed.
The next morning, at school, there was an off limits sign on the girl's room door. There was no explanation just a sign, on white paper, taped to the chipping surface. Mary just rolled her eyes.
"Can you believe this?" she asked Kassie who was standing next to her.
"It's not like anyone is going to pay attention to it, especially since the only other girl's bathroom is all the way on the third floor." Kassie remarked.
"Is that all?"
"What do you want me to say?" Kassie asked hoping her friend wouldn't bring up her crazy theories.
"Never mind." Mary sighed. "I will see you after school."
The friends parted ways without another word. Mary looked around at the other students making their way down the hall. They didn't look reprogrammed. They acted the same as they did everyday. The only difference was the silence. Any other day there would have been a lot of chatter, but the past few days there was nothing.
Mary didn't realize the day was over until she ended up at her locker. She knew she had been under a lot of stress, but she didn't know how bad it was until now. She didn't remember going to any of her classes, much less how she had gotten to her locker.
When she opened the slender metal door a piece of paper fell onto the floor at Mary's feet. Kassie picked it up and began reading it.
"What does it say?" Mary asked.
"It says to go the the girl's room." Kassie said with a bewildered look on her face.
"It does not." Mary said taking the note from her.
The note said exactly what her friend said it did. Mary knew which one the note was talking about. The walked down the hall together.
The two friends stood outside of the door in silence. The had had been torn down. Mary didn't want to go inside. She had a feeling what she would find. She didn't want to see death. There had been so much of it lately.
She slowly opened the door...
Mary's mother had decided to take the day off from work. She had been concerned with her little girl's detachment lately. She seemed to be under a lot of pressure the past few days.
She opened her daughter's door. Nothing seemed a miss so she left feeling silly about invading Mary's sanctuary.
Inside the girl's room was another girl lying on the floor. Her wrists had been slit like the other two. Blood pooled around her body like a crimson pond. Mary couldn't see the girl's face. Her long black hair covered it. Suddenly the girl slowly moved her head, the ends of her hair falling into the bloody puddle. Mary looked away not wanting to look at her.
"Kassie!" Mary shouted wanting her friend to witness what she was seeing. Kassie rushed with several other students behind her.
What she saw shocked her. Mary was lying on the floor in the pool of blood. She noticed she had slit her wrists.
"Why did she call your name?" a girl asked.
"I don't know." Kassie responded as she watched Mary take her last breath.
"It's not like the two of you were friends."
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