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His nails dug into my flesh ripping it from the muscle. The feeling was incredible. I never knew that something could feel better than the razor blade I took down my arm last week. (More than one I might add.) The blood flowed down my back, and the pain that radiated thoughout my body was beyond anything I could have imagined.

He growled in my ear as he unleashed the beast within. He ravaged my back for almost ten minutes when he decided Ihad, had enough. I begged for more, but he refused saying he was didn't want to hurt me all at once. He promised me when my wounds healed he would be happy to do it again.

That night I cried, not because of the pain, but because of him rejecting my request. I craved the physical pain as a hungry person craved food. He held me in his arms. He caressed my hair trying to comfort me. It wasn't long until I fell into a deep euphoric sleep.

I rested well that night. My dreams were sweet and restful. The nightmares had disappeared replaced with a better place where I felt safe. I knew from now on, at least for a while, I didn't need to fear sleep, but welcome it. In one session he showed me what could be, and hopefully always will.

I woke the next more, for the first time in a while, refreshed and ready to start my day. I went into the bathroom and looked into the full length mirror at my wounds. I smiled seeing the marks made, and the blood that still stained my skin. I silently wished that scars would remain, after they had healed, so it would be a constant reminder of that first night with him.

Memories stored in the mind are great within themselves, but physical reminders of experiences would be better. The mind sometimes fade the other would always remain, even if the brain had forgotten how they had gotten there. Sometimes we need a reminder like that when you become emotionally numb, and want to feel something.

It wasn't long before he woke up. He came up and gently kissed me on the neck. For the first time in a very long time I felt content with anyone other than the pain I would inflict upon myself.