The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

*TRIGGER WARNING*



I've come here to write. I know I have't done it in a long time. I used to write so much here and then I just sort of... trailed off.



But I feel like I need to write here now, to spew forth words that probably won't be read. I feel like my head is going to explode with thoughts and feelings. I feel like everyone is stick of listening to me stressing about the same things over and over again. To be honest, I'm stick of listening to myself. I just want it to stop.



I haven't cut in years now. For a long time there was no need. I had the support, family, friends, the endless boxes of pills. They're all still there. I still have all that support. For a long time I didn't think I needed the pills any more. I had a creative job. Life seemed to be going the way I wanted but now I feel like I've been seeing things through rose tinted glasses.



I'm still in the same job but that's the problem. It's not as perfect as I thought it was. The thought of going in makes me weepy and with one disaster after another I end up wanting to hurt myself before I'm even half way through the day. I can't do this any more.