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I'm AFK in Whitby until Tuesday. Update when I return.

For some reason everyone loves my legs except me. Daisy is actually jealous of them. I wonder what it is that others see and I don't.

Update tomorrow. Too tired now.

I've just been hanging out in the kitchen with Philippa. We watched The Day After Tomorrow again. For the third time in two days. Don't ask. Then she put an episode of Skins on. I figured I'd stay in and watch it since people kept going on about it. I was not impressed. It just seemed like a teen soap opera to me. Maybe it was. That would explain my dislike of it.



Oh well, I should be off to bed. I will actually get up and go into town this time.

Okay, so I'm an airhead. It's not like you didn't already know that. There's a few things about uni that I forgot to mention in my update. So here we go...



I haven't seen (or heard) the peacock yet. But I'm pretty sure Damien didn't sneak over and eat him. I haven't seen Dudley the cat yet either so I think he might be indoors for the winter. Either that or I just haven't seen him on my rare adventures outside.



I'm in a double flat again so it's still three doors to unlock before I can collapse on my bed. Just inside the second door is a single step. I haven't tripped up it or fallen down it yet but i just know I'm going to kill myself on it sooner or later.



I want to call the uni on discrimination. Last year they put a bible in the kitchen. This year they put on in the kitchen and in every bedroom. I threw mine in the wardrobe but surely that's forcing your beliefs on other people. I'm annoyed now that I didn't pack my Satanic and Witch's bibles.

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BLOODLIFE
18:57 Oct 21 2008

Bibles in rooms/dorms are there for the same reason as they are in most hotels ... it's incase you die away from home.

Good luck with the course. Oh and no dying ... not even your hair!

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Welcome to something new. I'm going to share an insult with you each day. Use them wisely.



I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make and exception.

- Groucho Marx

I promised you an update, didn't I? There's one minor problem with that. I can't remember what I've said here and what I posted on LJ. And I'm too lazy to go back and look. So I guess I'll give you a bit of a summary and then possibly just copy some LJ entries over to here.



The end of the summer flew by. I don't really remember that much about the passing weeks. Just that they were spent with my friends and that I really miss them now I'm not spending every day with them.



The final few weeks of riding were good. We got to show up the liveries a lot. First there was the week with Teddy when we did the best individual ridden performance. Then the following week Tula, the baby of the ride, jumped strange looking fences first time when the more experienced horses refused or ran out. Darren brought his horse up that week and he's absolutely gorgeous. Megan disagrees because she doesn't like chestnuts.



On my second last week Chloe had put her name down for Tula. I was ready to kill her. I ended up riding the black cob. He didn't have a name for over a month but is now called J.C., short for Jackie Chan. Our ride was calling him Banjo and I think that would have been preferable. Either way, he's a lovely looking little horse and nice to ride. He's really responsive and jumps well. After the ride, Tom apparently said to my mum that I rode really well. Compliments from Tom are always great.



I was up at the yard early on my final week and got my name down for Tula. I took her tack up to the barn and then just hung out with the horses for a while, patting them and talking to them, before saddling up Tula. The ride went well and Tula did some lovely jumps and transitions. She was a bit full of herself at the start of the ride and kept breaking into canter but she settled down after a while. Unlike Fred who bucked and spooked and took off. Megan literally ended up galloping him around the school. Which really didn't help her sore ankle.



At the end of the ride Megan asked me to get on Fred to tire him out so I left Tula with my mum and mounted up. From the ground. That pleased me because it means I can now get on a 16.2hh without a mounting block if necessary. Much to Megan's surprise, Fred was an absolute angel. He didn't do anything naughty and didn't even race away after the jumps like he usually does. She was soon telling him to buck me off. Thankfully he didn't listen.



Before leaving the yard I washed Tula's tail and was shocked to see how white it naturally is. If I ever get to buy her the first thing I'm going to do is give her a proper groom. And a bath if the weather permits it. She soaked me by flicking her tail. I swear she did it on purpose. Then I had to say farewell to her and the other horse's and head for home, stopping off to say goodbye to Damien on the way. I succeeded in not crying either time.



The journey to uni was pretty uneventful. The crossing on the ferry was fairly smooth and we only encountered one traffic jam, due to an accident. It was around 4pm when we arrived. The following few hours were taken up by filling in forms, unloading the car and unpacking belongings. We had Chinese when we were done and then I returned to my usual clumsiness.



During the unpacking I'd managed to fall off the chair and after dinner I stood on a rusty safety pin and drove it into my foot. At first it didn't really hurt but then it was agony. I have a high tolerance for pain but I was in tears. In the end it had to be pulled out. Thankfully I do have a valid tetanus shot.



Monday was a busy day. We went to the Co-op to buy fresh and frozen food and then I had to dash off to my induction which had a lecture tacked on to the end of it so it lasted over an hour and a half. Less then half an hour later I was off to my second lecture where we ended up having to do group work. There's eleven people in my group and I thought they'd never shut up about soap operas. Lyn came over and I thought she was going to tell us to work. Instead she joined in the Hollyoaks debate. Eventually we did get some work done.



Another half hour break took us to the third lecture of the day and I was shattered by that point. Thankfully it was only an hour. Some people had another two hours after it. I couldn't have handled that.



This year presents the chance for much confusion. Sentences so far have included "Are you not doing Drugs?" and "I have Rehab this afternoon". The reason? Modules includes ones on drugs and on rehabilitation, both for horses. It's all perfectly innocent but just sounds so wrong.



My Monday lectures end at 3pm and my next one after that is at 2.30pm on a Thursday. I'm sure people are envious but I am supposed to spend about 300 hours on my dissertation. Thursdays and Fridays lectures went as lectures do when you don't feel well. Far too slowly. Lyn insisted on being far too technical in Biomechanics. I'm actually hoping she goes off sick again this year.



Genetics was a cakewalk for me since I did it at A-level but we've had to go back to basics for most people. A lot of them don't seem to have heard to chromosomes... Gareth is away this Friday and the one a fortnight after it. I'm away in Whitby on the Friday in between which means I'll only have that lecture once before our assignment is due in. That's a scary thought but it's not as thought they teach us anything for the assignments anyway.



The weekend was passed with books, DVDs and the internet. I was supposed to go out with Kirsty for a fancy dress night but I was just too sick. I'm only just starting to recover now.



So it's Tuesday of my second week. I had planned to go into the city today but I couldn't sleep last night. Mainly because people were being too noisy outside. I think I'll go in tomorrow instead. Although I might go out to the Co-op tonight. At least that would get me off campus since it has been over a week now since I last went further than lectures.



So I guess that's an update on my life for you. I know it's very boring. I'll try and find something more exciting to write about next time.

Sometimes you just watch a bad night get worse. I'm completely alone now. There is nowhere to turn, no one I can go to for help. What is there left when your best friends are no longer on your side and the tears won't come? I can't help staring at the tablets... the knife... all the things that could become a noose... People deserve better than me. If I'm gone, maybe they can get it.

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xRobin3x
04:47 Oct 19 2008

:/



need a chat message... mine's open :)



(other words, need a new friend? :) )

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Aphrala
13:49 Oct 20 2008

come back home hun, we're still here. we'll always be here

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I've had a lot of bother with people on Facebook in the past. A while ago I wiped my entire friends list and started again. The other day I realised James had never re-added me so out of curiosity I sent him a friend request earlier. He then sent me a message saying, simply, "fuck off". How nice. Not.



I still have no idea what I did and it's really pissing me off. He isn't doing this to anyone else. He and Philippa are getting along just fine and the way he responded tonight has actually made me feel physically sick. I'm hurt and I'm angry. After everything I did for him, he's treating me like this.



All the nights I sat up and made sure he got home from work safely. Or walked down there so he wouldn't have to come back alone. All the little things as well. Things like sharing my freezer space with him. And helping him carry shopping back from the Co-Op. There are so many things I could list. And he's acting like they're nothing. I guess I'm nothing as well then.

Update coming when I have the energy/time/health/whenever I can be bothered/all of the above*



*delete as applicable



There will be one, I promise.

I leave for university first thing in the morning. I have so much to write where updates are concerned but I think that will have to wait until I'm back in England. I'm not looking forward to this...

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Sinora
21:26 Oct 11 2008

I'm so pleased your taking this step, please don't let your fears get the better of you....enjoy it.

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I'm having a bad day. It hasn't really been a bad day but it's one of my 'bad days'. Will someone please kill me now? I don't even know why I'm still trying.

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Sinora
19:56 Oct 08 2008

*Hugs*

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I levelled up. I'm a Destroyer now :)

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Aphrala
03:05 Oct 05 2008

awesome you is awesome

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I'm feeling quite pleased with myself. I fixed our computer on my own. I guess I can mend things as well as break them.