The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Fan-Bloody-Tastic
20:07 Jun 30 2007
Times Read: 746

Oh my god. Doctor Who was fantastic. What can I say? I loved it. But it's not on again until Christmas! DVDs here we come.

I'm So Excited, I Just Can't Hide It
18:02 Jun 30 2007
Times Read: 747

ONE HOUR LEFT UNTIL DOCTOR WHO!

Inexpensive Insults
13:21 Jun 29 2007
Times Read: 748

Some of you may have already seen the IKEA advertisement on their US site. They claim to offer inexpensive furnishings and, being a student and fond of bargains, it was a shop I had planned to go to in the near future. Not anymore.



This advertisement is what changed my mind.



Miss the offensive part?



Take a closer look.



See it? If not, maybe you got distracted by the strange word or bright colours.



Let's look again.



Now you see it, right?



Creepy? Yes, I admit, we may be seen as that. We may even encourage it. But to be classed as a bad influence just because we dress differently, like unusual things or listen to socially unacceptable music, that's just not fair. So listen up IKEA, change your attitude or lose your customers.

So Cut My Wrists And Black My Eyes So I Can Fall Asleep Tonight Or Die
14:03 Jun 27 2007
Times Read: 754


Hawthorne Heights - Ohio Is For Lovers



Hey there,

I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all.

Where you are and how you feel.

With these lights off as these wheels

keep rolling on and on. (and on and on and on...)

Slow things down or speed them up.

Not enough or way too much. (and on and on and on...)

How are you when I'm gone?



[Chorus:]

And I can't make it on my own.

(And I can't make it on my own.)

Because my heart is in Ohio.

So cut my wrists and black my eyes.

(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)

So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.

Because you kill me.

You know you do, you kill me well.

You like it too, and I can tell.

You never stop until my final breath is gone.



Spare me just three last words.

"I love you" is all she heard.

I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.

[x2]



[Chorus:]

And I can't make it on my own.

(And I can't make it on my own.)

Because my heart is in Ohio.

So cut my wrists and black my eyes.

(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)

So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.

Because you kill me.

You know you do, you kill me well.

You like it too, and I can tell.

You never stop until my final breath is gone.



You know you do, you kill me well.

You like it too, and I can tell.

You never stop until my final breath is gone.



(YOU...KILL...ME...WELL)

So cut my wrists and black my eyes.

My final breath is gone

So I can fall asleep tonight



[Chorus:]

And I can't make it on my own.

(And I can't make it on my own.)

Because my heart is in Ohio.

So cut my wrists and black my eyes.

(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)

So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.

Because you kill me.

You know you do, you kill me well.

You like it too, and I can tell.

You never stop until my final breath is gone.



(YOU...KILL...ME...WELL)

You know you do, you kill me well.

You like it too, and I can tell.

You never stop until my final breath is gone.

[to fade]

This Razor Blade Was Meant For Me
14:00 Jun 27 2007
Times Read: 755


Aiden - We Sleep Forever



She walks the line into her deathbed rings

I say she's all alone

Begging for forgiveness

I won't teach her to lie or make a plan

That clairvoyant stare and grin

God won't forgive me

for this I know

and tragedy unfolds tonight

So sever my skin apart

Take this sadness and close your eyes, love



(Whoa) Hey, call the angels.

(Whoa-o) This razor blade was meant for me

(Whoa) Hey, call the angels.

(Whoa-o) We'll mutilate insanity



She cuts the blade although it's much too dull

I say she's all alone

Fighting for redemption

I know little pain, a little lust

I lose myself at night to feel the rush

of tearing my skin apart

Now take this sadness and close your eyes, love



(Whoa) Hey, call the angels.

(Whoa-o) This razor blade was meant for me

(Whoa) Hey, call the angels.

(Whoa-o) We'll mutilate insanity



Go deeper, I feel it

I see your ghost appear

Go deeper, I see it

I feel your ghost appear

I will say goodbye tonight

We'll sleep forever

Hold on, hold on tonight love

We'll sleep forever

Hold on, hold on tonight love

We'll sleep forever

Hold on, hold on tonight love

Close your eyes



(Whoa) Hey, call the angels.

(Whoa-o) This razor blade was meant for me

(Whoa) Hey, call the angels.

(Whoa-o) We'll mutilate insanity

[x2]

So Take Care Of What You Love
13:57 Jun 27 2007
Times Read: 756


Aiden - Die Romantic



You can illustrate your life in romance.

But I can show you something so much more than words,

In my hands.

It's not your best intention now to burn your friends,

This is your last night, this is your last chance.

In my hands



(Die romantic, romantic)

This is the nightmare we fall asleep.

(Die romantic, romantic)

This is the nightmare we die complete.

(Die romantic, romantic)

Tonight's the night, and it's all we need now

To die romantic



I sat and watched your heartbeat fade with every breath.

I watched your lips turn blue, your eyes went cold and all,

with all the rest.

I felt the panic and tried to breathe.

Is this happening?

I've fucking had it.

Well, God, save me, please.

'Cause I don't think she'll make it through the night.



(Die romantic, romantic)

This is the nightmare we fall asleep.

(Die romantic, romantic)

This is the nightmare we die complete.

(Die romantic, romantic)

Tonight's the night, and it's all we need now

To die romantic

[x2]



Your last words to me "tonight's the night" meant redemption was only found in books.

Your last words to me "tonight's the night" meant redemption was harder than it looks.

So take care of what you love

and all this stuff are remnants of a life in shattered glass,

it's all I have to ask.



I (I) miss (miss) you (you)!

I (I) miss (miss) you (you)!



You can illustrate your death in romance.

I can show you something so much more than words,

In my hands.

I felt the dead-end price you paid for everyday.

This is your last night,

Suicide kept tight,

You're gone tonight.



(Die romantic, romantic)

This is the nightmare we fall asleep.

(Die romantic, romantic)

This is the nightmare we die complete.

(Die romantic, romantic)

Tonight's the night, and it's all we need now

To die romantic

[x2]



Die romantic, die romantic, die romantic,

Die romantic, die romantic, die romantic, tonight...

You Can't Fix Everything That's Broken
13:39 Jun 27 2007
Times Read: 757

I don't want to be here. I want to go back to England. Why do you think it didn't help when you kept saying You'll be home soon. You just don't get it. This isn't my home anymore. It was, but that's in the past. There's nothing here for me now. I've lost eight pets since starting university. I still have my cat, three others and a dog but that's a lot of animals to loose in under a year. I haven't been near a horse in over a month and I don't even know if Murphy is still at the yard. Megan's changed since getting Fred on loan. Not completely but she's not quite the same as she was. Tom better teach us all summer. If not, there won't be much point riding.



I missed people here but I've hardly seen my Dad or David. It doesn't matter to the latter if I'm here but I know everyone else wanted me back for the summer. I'd rather still be living in England. If I was there I could be working with horses. As it is, I'm supposed to phone some guy about getting a job in his shop. Mum's is making me phone him even though she knows I hate making calls. Maybe she thinks it helps but it doesn't. I don't want to talk to anyone on the phone and I don't want to work in a fucking shop all summer.



Philippa's invited me to visit but I don't know if I'll be able to get time off or even if I can afford the flights. I'm supposed to be getting money together for Whitby, not to mention seeing people here off the summer. I've given everyone from school the impression that I wasn't coming back because I'm not sure if I want to see them. He was the only one that knew I would be back and he started chatting to me the night before I was due to come back. Then I told him I was staying and extra week and now it seems that he doesn't want to talk to me. What is there for me here?



I've hardly stopped crying for the last two hours and I know what Mum would say if she wasn't working. Well, she already said some of it when I spoke to her earlier.



Keep your chin up. It'll be okay.



How exactly will it be okay?





It'll just take you a few days to adjust.



I don't want to adjust. I want to go back to where I was and what I was doing.





You'll see them in October.



It's only June. How am I supposed to be okay with not seeing my friends until October when I normally spend almost twenty-four hours a day with them?





Well you're here now so you'll just have to get used to it.



I don't want to get used to it because it'll all have to change again in October.





It's okay to cry.



Thank goodness for that then...





You'll make yourself sick if you keep crying.



I don't care if I make myself sick. I want to cry. And scream. And throw things. And then I'd just get told to





Calm down and go an get something to eat.



Food does not solve everything. I don't want to see if my blood sugar levels are too low. I just want someone to talk to.



Make up your fucking mind. How else am I supposed to cope? Especially if I'm not allowed to cut.



Yes, I did say cut. I'm not some attention seeking little emo kid. It's been my coping mechanism for nine years, although in the past few months I restarted after four years without doing it. Yes, I'm fucked up. No, I'm not proud of what I do. But it helps take the pain away and at least the blade understands. You'll probably read this and judge me. If you do, don't message me telling me to grow up.

I'm emotional but I'm not Emo.



I have pink hair but I'm not Punk.



I have baggy trousers but I'm not a Skater.



I dress in black but I'm not purely Goth.



I cut but I'm not Attention-Seeking.



I am just Me.

Flight Response
22:45 Jun 25 2007
Times Read: 759

I got back to Northern Ireland last night. I want to go back to university now.

So, Is This The End For Us My Friends
08:06 Jun 23 2007
Times Read: 760

I'm moving back home tomorrow. I've finished uni for the summer but I really don't want to go back. Yet there are some things at home I'm looking forward to. I'm so confused. And I've hardly slept in almost two weeks.

Just A Thought
02:01 Jun 23 2007
Times Read: 761

I don't think I use the word 'commodities' enough.

Pagan Born
00:31 Jun 21 2007
Times Read: 763

It's officially the summer Solstice. Have a good one everyone.

Idealised Version Of Me
04:54 Jun 16 2007
Times Read: 772

The Joys Of Bad Weather
17:51 Jun 15 2007
Times Read: 784

James and I are sitting in the kitchen in dry clothes now. It's kind of a funny story. We went to the campus shop to buy Fathers Day cards and got a little wet on the way back.



Today was really sunny when Philippa left but then we had the third huge storm in two weeks. We were watching the lightning and listening to the thunder for ages and getting very excited. When the torrential rain eased off we decided to head to the shop to get cards so we could send them in the last post. It was drizzling when we left and we called into reception to check our post. It got a little heavier on the way to the shop and Barbara was giving us strange looks. We found what we wanted and went to pay for them. That's when the power went off.



We stood around watching the rain get heavier while the girl serving tried to contact her boss. In the end she had to do the maths by hand. Well, actually I had to do it for her. We paid in exact change and then left the shop. It took a few moments of looking outside before we plunged into the downpour. We were drenched in seconds and we literally dripping when we got back to the flat. It was only a two minute walk.



Hence the fact we had to change into dry clothing. Still, it was absolutely fantastic. :D

This Is The End
16:15 Jun 15 2007
Times Read: 785

Philippa left a while ago. I guess this really is the end. It was hard not to cry.

Drink Up, Me Hearties, Yo Ho
04:32 Jun 11 2007
Times Read: 792

The following are the some of the alcoholic drinks served in The Pit And Pendulum in Nottingham. The Seven Deadly Sins are cocktails while the Sadistic Shooters are shots. (Strange that…) These are only the ingredients, not the recipes. Enjoy.

The Seven Deadly Sins

Sloth

Finlandia vodka, Kahlua, Baileys, Amaretto, milk, cream



Gluttony

Finlandia vodka, Archers, orange juice, cranberry juice



Greed

Finlandia vodka, Bacardi, Triple Sec, Gordon’s gin, lemon juice, cola



Wrath

Jack Daniel’s, Amaretto, cola



Lust

Finlandia vodka, Malibu, cranberry juice



Pride

Bacardi, Archers, Bols blue curacao, grenadine, lemonade



Envy

Bols mint, Bols white cacao, milk, cream





Sadistic Shooters

Squashed Frog

Midori, Advocaat, Grenadine



Scorchio

Antica Sambuca, Jose Cuervo Tequila, Tabasco



Slippery Tipple

Antica Sambuca, Baileys, Grenadine



Cowboy

Butterscotch Schnapps, Baileys, Finlandia vodka



After Eight

Bols white cacao, Bols mint, Baileys



b52

Kahlua, Baileys, Cointreau



b53

Kahlua, Baileys, Finlandia vodka



b54

Kahlua, Baileys, Amaretto



BMW

Baileys, Mailibu, Jack Daniel’s



Peaches & Cream

Archers, Baileys, Grenadine,



Union Jack

Antica Sambuca, Bols blue curacao, Grenadine

There's Something I Think You Need To Know...
01:52 Jun 10 2007
Times Read: 796

“Aah...don't even think about gettin' inside

Voices in me head...ooh, voices

I got scratches, all over my arms

One for each day, since I fell apart.”



-Footsteps, Pearl Jam





“Cut my life into pieces

I've reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing

Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding

Would it be wrong, would it be right

If I took my life tonight, chances are that I might

Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide.”



-Last Resort, Papa Roach





“They'll just cut our wrists like

Cheap coupons and say that death

Was on sale today.”



-The Fight Song, Marilyn Manson





“Memories consume

Like opening the wound

I'm picking me apart again

You all assume

I'm safe here in my room

Unless I try to start again.”



-Breaking the Habit, Linkin Park

Falling Tears
00:27 Jun 08 2007
Times Read: 799

I've been crying a lot. I guess I was lucky. They didn't seem to notice.

One Ticket To Oblivion Please. Single, Not Return
00:03 Jun 08 2007
Times Read: 801

You do not know how much I wish I drank right now. I wish I could get wasted, find oblivion and go right out the other side and never wake up again.

It's Captain Depressive And Her Subordinates, The Suicidal Tendencies
23:56 Jun 07 2007
Times Read: 802

I'm a little down now. I don't know why. I was fine earlier but I guess things have just gotten to me. Philippa and James are kind of hyper tonight. It's amusing. I'd probably join in but the apathy has taken over. They might read this. So Hi J and P if you do.



Song lyrics in a minute. I've been playing relevant ones all night and it hurts a little when people don't notice. I don't talk well so I sometimes try to say things without speaking. I don't think that works very well either.



Time for song lyrics now.

One Hundred Stories – Alkaline Trio

You're in the next room sleeping and I'm shouting out a song for you

I shouldn't wake you over the furnace, but I should swear to someone you'd have loved every note

So dream a good one tonight

I'll listen to the bad ones when they come

Get up in my ear 'till I hear every word

Every turn of your tongue, I will tighten my grip

No one could tell even if I fell 100 stories straight down, down, down

No one could tell even if I fell 100 stories down



I was getting bored with hurting myself

If you fall down enough, well soon enough, you will find hell

It can't be as… as pretty as we hoped it would be

It's not even warm here, not even ten degrees



This bed is too big to sleep in, and I'm dying just to feel you breathe

You couldn't see across the ocean, but I was turning over 'till the vampires sleep

So dream a good one tonight

I'll listen to the bad ones when they come

Get up in my ear 'till I hear every word

Every turn of your tongue, I will tighten my grip

No one could tell even if I fell 100 stories straight down, down, down

No one could tell even if I fell 100 stories down



I was getting bored with hurting myself

If you fall down enough, well soon enough, you will find hell

It can't be as… as pretty as we hoped it would be

It's not even warm here, not even ten degrees



Dream a good one tonight

Dream a good one tonight

Dream a good one tonight

Dream a good one tonight



I was getting bored with hurting myself

So dream a good one tonight

I was getting bored with hurting myself

So dream a good one tonight

I was getting bored with hurting myself

So dream a good one tonight

I was getting bored with hurting myself



Angels With Dirty Faces – Sum 41

I need this to get me through

can't resist, don't want to

believe it I know it's true

can't beat it, don't want to try



A perfect hell!



It's more to me than you ever will know

down here where the rest of us fell

waste away nothing left to show

while I'm in this perfect hell



obsession has begun

possessed by destruction

how did I get so low

believe me no one knows

sometimes I can't hold on

and no one can help me



now it's got a hold of me

I don't think I can make it through this

now it's got a hold of me

the less I do the more it makes no sense



I'm walking pollution who's drained by delusions

on the verge of destruction I cave in to abduction

thin blood I'm bleeding my pulse won't stop racing

just as my heart explodes



no chance that I could win

too hard to not give in

I just don't feel the same

cause I'm the one to blame

sometimes I can't hold on

and no one can help me



now it's got a hold of me

I don't think I can make it through this

now it's got a hold of me

the less I do the more it makes no sense



I need this to be myself

it feels like I need some help

it's too late to save myself

or it's just in my head



now it's got a hold of me

I don't think I can make it through this

now it's got a hold of me

the less I do the more it makes no sense



now it's got a hold of me

I don't think I can make it through this

now it's got a hold of me

the less I do the more it makes no sense



Beauty Fiend – My Ruin

yes it's true

i've got demons inside me

and sometimes they need to speak

my dark places make me feel ugly

my lips are glossed but my heart is weak

i'm diseased

as seen on tv

please forgive me

for not being pretty or sexy

but god never blessed me

here's what you抣l find next time you undress me

scars

wounds

i'm bruised

watch me bleed

i'm your beauty

watch me bleed

beauty fiend

once again

without perfect teeth

i begin the dream as i sleep

soon i've sinned

my skin is still thick

my mouth as always is brutally honest

at my calmest

i'm tired of explaining how it feels

to be exploited and rated number one, two or seventeen

fuck what they print in those damn magazines

scars

wounds

i'm used

watch me bleed

i'm no beauty

watch me bleed

beauty queen

watch me bleed

i'm your beauty

watch me bleed

beauty fiend

stuck inside this mask of mine

there's no place for me to hide

won't you please come suck me dry

don't touch me

don't fucking touch me

don't touch me

why can't you see beyond my skin

size

my shape

my ass

my tits

i am not your pretty face

i'm just a girl

the girl you love to hate

watch me bleed

i'm no beauty

watch me bleed

beauty queen

watch me bleed

i'm the beauty

watch me bleed

beauty fiend

why can't you see beyond my skin

size

my shape

my ass

my tits

i am not your pretty face

i'm just a girl

the girl you love to hate

stuck inside this mask of mine

there's no place for me to hide

won't you please come suck me dry

don't

don't you fucking touch me

pig



Bed Of Razors – Children Of Bodom

I see the candle light burning in your

eyes, flaring up my eyes in flames

On this pitch-black summer night...

of passion and pain

The razor caressed my flesh

and my arms turned red, I feel a vast desire

Years of pain are flowing down my arms.

Sweet, red, warm stream you drink, make me released

Give me your hand, let me make you feel the ease,

in the bed of razors we bleed together...

I feel the fire burning in my heart,

I see it sparkling in your eyes

The blaze you're feeding more and more

The razor caressed your flesh and your arms turned red.

I feel your vast desire

Tearing pain is flowing down your arms.

Sweet, red, warm stream I drink to make you released

Holding your arms, cherish this composure,

in the bed of razors we sleep together, forever...



Borders And Shading – In Flames

You Took a knife and carve it in

Want to see your faults

As a part of your pretty skin

Everyone has a tragedy

I want you to wear yours in pain



Oblivion can no longer shade you

Reminded by the tattered tissue



Bleak silence

Errors stigmatized in you

A weak worn out friend

There's nothing left for me



Again and again

Your face reminds me of a bleak future

Despite the absence of hope

I give you this sacrifice



You're so far, behind

Be my hero

Drift away

Save yourself

Don't end up zero

Cause I look the other way



I will crawl into your vault

Pass snakes and old rotten thoughts

Leaving a hotbed of virulence

Your world inside slowly redesigned



Again and again

Your face reminds me of a bleak future

Despite the absence of hope

I give you this sacrifice



You're so far, behind

Be my hero

Drift away

Save yourself

Don't end up zero

Cause I look the other way



Again and again

Your face reminds me of a bleak future

Despite the absence of hope

I give you this sacrifice



You're so far, behind

Be my hero

Drift away

Save yourself

Don't end up zero

Cause I look the other way



You're so far, behind

Be my hero

Drift away

Save yourself

Don't end up zero

Cause I look the other way (Save yourself)



Breaking The Habit – Linkin Park

Memories consume

Like opening the wound

I'm picking me apart again

You all assume

I'm safe here in my room

Unless I try to start again



I don't want to be the one

The battles always choose

'Cause inside I realize

That I'm the one confused



I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I know it's not alright

So I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit

Tonight



Clutching my cure

I tightly lock the door

I try to catch my breath again

I hurt much more

Than anytime before

I had no options left again



I dont want to be the one

The battles always choose

'Cause inside I realize

That I'm the one confused



I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I'll never be alright

So, I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit

Tonight



I'll paint it on the walls

'Cause I'm the one at fault

I'll never fight again

And this is how it ends



I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

But now I have some clarity

to show you what I mean

I don't know how I got this way

I'll never be alright

So, I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit

Tonight



Burning Inside - Ministry

will these dreams still follow me

out of dark obscurity?

can't you see it up in the sky

as it kicks you in the face and sucks you dry

you never had the answers

and now you tell me the facts of life

i really couldn't be bothered with you

get out of my face and watch me die

burning inside! burning inside!



absolution and a frozen room

are the dreams of men below

i try to grab it but the touch is hot

the mirror collapses, but the image came not

i'm scared of the darkness in the light

i scare myself because i know i'm right

i see the evil in your savage eye

as it cuts right through the sky

burning inside! burning inside!



calling a mantra with a blade in the skin

for the demons within

i feel the pain is the death and decay

but the lesson never fades away

too little shadows, turn away

you throw the man through the window pane

another slave and a victim of fate

another lesson in hate

burning inside! burning inside!



I think that’s enough for now. I’d do more but I’m just too tired.

Bitchy Entry About James
16:26 Jun 06 2007
Times Read: 805

James broke the cheesecake.

*sarcasm* Grrr.*end of sarcasm*

And blocked me on messenger.

*sarcasm* Grrr.*end of sarcasm*



Nope, not really bitching about James. Can you tell?

Sitting In My Room With A Razor To My Wrist
16:18 Jun 06 2007
Times Read: 806

At this moment in time I can honestly say that I think there are only two of my flatmates I don't hate.



Also, I have my second written exam tomorrow and have not yet looked at my notes. I'm predicting answers based on non-existent questions and have decided I'm answering numbers one and five despite not having seen the actual questions.



I am so very fucked right now. I hate most of my life at the minute and most of the people in it. Especially those that I thought loved me and then turned around and ripped out my heart.