Once I lived in darkness
fumbling and falling into misery.
Once I found a solace
In satanic mystery.
Sold my soul for glory and fame
Turned to the Devil
And slowly became
More than human,
Less than man.
I have been born into a faery family in this turning of the wheel
As have I done in so many turnings past
Yet the gifts of my ancestors
were never enough
For an 18 year old me.
I chose unlife.
I chose near death.
I chose to understand the length and the breadth
Of being outside the normal dreaming
The average seeming
Existences of the regular joes
The rats in their mazes walking in stupor and daze.
What I slowly became
I quickly began to feel distinct distain for.
Even as the turning and the change became
Totally apparent
To me.
Through my will to be
and my need to feed
I solidified my darkness into crystylline inner being.
Innerness of total
Darknesses.
At first I laughed and reveled in the feelings and overwhealming urges,
Of lust,
Hunger,
And need.
Even as I felt my eyeteeth extending beneath my grimacing lips
I wanted what I had dreamed of so dearly.
Give my self to the Lord of Lies
That I may see through vampire eyes.
Years past until all I was feeling
Drained me of my life.
My dreaming became darkness.
My actions in those dreams impacted
Upon my waking reality
Until both became one
In two places.
I feed on energy
Life force
Sunlight
And rain.
I live without support
In my ritual daily.
I turned from Satan long ago.
Spat in his face
Screaming obscenities to the winds.
" You are nothing to me. You are the Lie!"
" You are everything to me. " was His reply.
I ran.
Ran from the night
Into the arms of the Lords of Light.
Given a name,
Given a future,
Given a slooooow cure.
Baptised in oil from the Otherworld
Light itself melted the dark crystal I'd become.
Baptised in fire I self destruct
Connect
With source
Return
With more questions than answers
And a universe burning beneath my skin.
In ritual dreams I learned priestly things
From those benevolent few
Kindred of many
Dark beings.
I have walked the halls of hell in dreaming.
Seen the fields of Elysium gleaming.
Tended to the roots of the long dead tree of all trees
Standing it's place in abyssal wastes.
I have watched the armies of heroes fight to the death of them all
Throughout an abyssal day,
Seen there bodies rot and decay
In a single night of that place
Only to watch them Rise again
To fight and die another day.
I've wandered the cavernous tunnels of the Underworld
Meeting and greeting many strange forms of unlife
Only to fall prey to my own curiosity.
Open oblivion's gates did I
Stupidly.
Willingly.
(the lock was made by me too many turnings past to remeber the details of it's Eldar creation.)
Idiot me walked into the trap of all ages.
In oblivion I dwelt for many Real-Time years,
Such time extended within my personal reality.
In there NOTHING is right.
Nothing is alive.
All is death animated
Or light utterly corrupted.
Drink with pleasure of the Vine.
Call to witness the Divine
Alter alcohol into the Blood of God.
Taste the sweet realisation that immortality need not be a cursed thing
Nor that a curse can never be lifted
Once imperfectly dreamed.
Swear no fealty to a Christ upon a Roman Cross
(although disciples ate of his flesh in baked goods)
Ask only of Her who is named Wisdom to guide you,
Lift you
And feed you True Blood Divine.
Once of Faery, always of Faery
Related by Picti and Sidhe.
Descendent of Kings
Highest of Yngling and Irish High under the hill so green.
My ancestors lived in the tombs of their ancestors,
Were the bridge between worlds for whole cultures.
Some lay in Norwegian barrows untouched...
Others disturbed
ransacked of wealth,
Turned into exhibits for the masses to marvel at the mystery of it all.....
Fuckers.
How would they like it for me to unearth their grandmothers and grandfathers?
To steal the swords and shields of ceremony?
To disturb those who really are Elders of the Dragon lines,
Vampires militant and royal in their own rite?
I claim no titles,
No lofty deeds.
All I say here is between you and me.
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