The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

GUY'S RULES



The Guy's Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down finally - the guy's side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty darn accurate.) We always hear "The Rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints DO NOT work! Strong hints DO NOT WORK! OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.





All credit for the above information came from Wolfspirits.

Please do not worry about me. I am going to be offline for a little while. I don't know for how long. My Master has taken my pc from me and I don't know when I will get it back. I am currently at the library using their computer so I could let my friends know what was going on with me. I don't want any of you to worry. Yeah I am in trouble with my Master. It was over something stupid. I knew better, but I just couldn't help myself. LOL But it is all good. I am ok. I have just had my pc taken from me and I have been punished in other ways as well. I will talk to all of you again soon. My time is almost up and I am going to have to get off of here. Talk to you all soon. I will try to check my messages everyday. So leave me a message and I will get back in touch with you. I will miss you all. Lots of hugs for you all.



Love,

Raven

I would like to take this time to apologize to all my friends. I have not been on much lately. I have had alot of things going on with me. My Master is making plans for us for this weekend and I have had alot of work to do to prepare for it. I have also had alot of work that I have had to get done. I took on a secretary job for my lodge. I am having to learn a new system and it is frustrating. I have been spending most of my spare time there trying to figure it out. It is starting to come together now. Again, I am sorry I have not been here for you guys and you know who you are. I have missed all of you and I can't wait until we can talk again. I should start being on more now. I hopw we get to talk soon.

What do hummingbirds have that no other animal has?



Message me for the answer.

What is the loudest animal on Earth?





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How much water does a camal's hump hold?









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How do basketball players stay cool?







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What did the martian say to the rose bush?



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I just got a call from my lawyer. He told me that he was waiting on test results of why the chicken I ate Friday night gave me food poisioning. He said that all he knew for sure was that the chicken was undercooked. The tests should be back in a few more days.



I am doing ok now. I am no longer sick, but I am so sore from being sick. I feel like I have some broked ribs although I know I don't. I hope my body starts feeling better soon and gets over being sore. It hurts to move.



I will keep updating what is going on with this.

I had another dream last night. It was a good dream. Different, but good. SO here goes.



I was sitting out in my yard. It was turning dusk. This guy came up into my yard from the front. He asked me if my name was Raven. I said yes. He said good I found the right house. He introduced himself, but I can't remember his name. IT is like it is blocked. Anyway, he asked me if he could sit with me and talk. I said sure. We were talking about mudane stuff when all of a sudden he kissed me. I looked at him and asked him why he did it. He said he didn't know, he just felt like he needed to do it. Then he casually started touching me. On the arm, on the hand, you know what I am talking about. Anyway, his touches turned into caresses. Man his hands were so soft. It was almost completely dark. When he grabbed me and sat me in his lap and started kissing me. He was running his hands up and down my back. Then he started kissing on my neck. Then he whispered, Come with me. So we stood up and I followed him. We flew off into the air. It was so beautiful. Seeing the world from above it. We landed at this beautiful estate. It was huge. We went inside and I was so surprised at what I saw. He looked at me and I became very nervous. He told me that nothing would happen that I didn't want to happen. I agreeed. I took his hand and he walked me down this hallway. We walked to the last door on the right. He opened the door and inside was a bunch of whips, paddles, floggers, and things like that. There were two chains hanging from the ceiling and two places on the floor. He walked me over to them. He started kissing on me and as he was kissing me, he put one hand in the cuffs and then the other. Then he locked both legs into the ones on the floor. Then he gagged me and blindfolded me. He was going to restrict my hearing, but he wanted me to hear what he was saying. He started kissing on my neck, down my shoulder, across my chest to my breast. Then he started sucking and teasing my nipple. I could almost feel my knees go weak. Then he moved to the other one. And did the same thing. He use his fingers to stroke my nipples and tease them. While he was doing that, he started talking to me in my ear. I don't know what it was, but my knees buckled. I was just hanging there. Then he started nibbling on my neck. Not quite biting. Then he moved his hands down my stomach to my legs. He moved his hands down my legs, around my legs, and grabbed my butt. When he grabbed my butt, he bit me. Not hard, but not soft either. I instantly started dripping pussy juices. He kinda snickered and said, that is what I wanted. He moved his hands up to my pussy and started playing with it, rubbing on it. Man it was so great. It felt so good. Then he spread my pussy lips apart and started rubbing on my clit. I was so wet. He grabbed a paddle and started paddling me as he was rubbing my clit. He would hit my ass, then rub my clit. He did this until I was getting ready to cum and then he stopped. He started licking up and down my neck. He would nibble on my neck as well. Then he moved away from me. I felt so lost without him close to me. Then I felt a new set of hands. They weren't his. I don't know who was there. They were being very quiet. But the hands were so soft. Then I felt a second set of hands on my body. It was pure torture. All they were doing was rubbing over my body. Not really touching any specific spot. Then one set of hands started concentrating on my breast and nipples. The other ones started rubbing and playing with my pussy, then my clit. Then I felt one body move. And the one that moved started licking on my pussy and clit. The other one was still playing with my breast and nipples. Then I felt this sharp pain across my ass. I was spanked with what felt like a riding crop. The more I tried to get away from it, the more times I was hit with it. Then it stopped. All the while, there was someone playing with my pussy and clit. Licking and rubbing on it. Then I was bent over as far as I could go and I felt him enter me. When he entered me, it didn't take long and I was ready to cum. He told me to cum and I did. Then I felt him have his orgasism. While he was having his orgasism, he bit my neck again. This time he drew blood. I could feel him suck the blood. The more blood he sucked, the more he orgasismed and the more I orgasismed. Then he moved. The person in front of me moved. He undid my ankles and then my arms. I collapsed in his arms. He picked me up and moved me to the bed. He removed my gag and blindfold. He was sitting beside me on the bed. He was stroking my face and hair as you would a long time lover. Then she walked up to the foot of the bed. She asked me how I liked what they did to me. All I could do was smile at her with this lazy smile. She told him to take me home and tuck me into bed. He told her that he would. But before he could pick me up, she moved in between my legs. She bit me there. I knew she drew blood because I could feel it. I felt her suck at the blood. After what seemed like forever, she stopped. She looked at me and said, just a little something to remember us by. We will see you again. You were fun to play with. Then he picked me up and took me home. he tucked me into bed. He told me he would see me again soon. That I should get some rest. He told me to have sweet dreams.



I woke up and I immediately looked and I didn't have any spots where they had bitten me and sucked my blood.



It was a wonderful, sexy dream. I enjoyed it very much.

What do astronauts like on their sandwiches?