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My past haunts me, the future scares me , and the present unpredictable.

When constantly focused on the bad, I made a turn around, I like to think of it as the “ Reversal Effect”. And lucky me, I’ve somehow been blessed with the ability to see things from both viewpoints. Must have something to do with my zodiac sign. I’m a Gemini. And I can definitely confirm that most of the characteristics that is claimed to fit Gemini’s , is indeed the truth. Before I even got into all the zodiac signs and horoscope stuff I notice that I’ve always had those characteristics since birth.

But anyway, even though things may seem bad , acknowledge the good part of it. Because whatever the bad may be , there is always something good to grasp out of it. That’s part of the balance concept of life. So I take the bad with the good, and it helps in hard times.

Life goes on.
Facts: I might not be in the best position right now, but as a survival technique I just to make the best of a bad situation. I’m not perfect by far, and I do care what other people think of me, and I do care not just about what’s going on in the city I live in or the country but I’m interested in what’s happening all over the world. I’ve been to narrow minded. But I’m trying to tap in. I’m not even joking. I’m sad for myself because of certain things I would never talk about , but on a better note , I see opportunity in every situation, good or bad , and approach it as if it were a complicated algebra problem. Goal: learn more about myself/ meditate. 2. Learn to be quiet/ when you stop talking you can start listening- key to mastering communication. 3. Do the impossible/ whatever that may be.

Progression: started my book of shadows. I’ve learned enough so far to begin practicing on motionless meditation which is esstential to creating affective magic. That’s just the first step and only practice, for me. I started on my Year and a day study to become Wiccan on August the 24th bit I’ve been studying long before that so I have a good idea on what I’m getting myself into. So far everything is falling into place, hope it stays that way. I know it will. On a positive note I know things will turn out good for me , no matter what.
Blessed be.

As troubles of everyday life close in on me, I noticed a slight change. Not a change in my troubles, but a change I’m myself.

First, I realized that my emotions towards a certain situation were slowly starting to vanish . At first it was almost unbearable and unbelievable. From then until now, I definitely feel a minor change ,so far as my attitude towards things going on in my life , that I cannot control.

Second thing. Every single day I’m faced with several challenges. Usually I respond to things poorly. I can admit , at one time I was a sensitive person. Sometimes the littlest things would effect me so deep. Now most of the time I can bite my tounge and keep it pushing, but people will push your buttons and you know how that goes.

Little by little I’m gaining control over some of my weaknesses instead of them controlling me. It’s not easy. But practice makes perfect.

COMMENTS

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LORDMOGY
16:56 Aug 24 2018

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RD
16:54 Aug 27 2018

Thank you

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It’s 1:20Am. Tapping in. I don’t have much to say right now. I am studying consistently, as much as possible. Dealing with an addiction is a pain in the ass, but even worse, giving it control, can have detrimental consequences. So I must ask myself, “ Are you trying to do, or get done?”

Just checking in. I woke up late today. I swear I'm naturally a nocturnal person, I stay up all night sometimes for several days then sleep all day and get up in the late afternoon. It's cool though I like it. I've always been this way, but when I was younger I couldn't figure it out. Anyways hope everyone had a good day and stay blessed.

I am a firm believer of the world I was told did not exist. Little did I know, I am part of that world, and always have been. The most important things about life were hidden from me, reason being, unknown. The majority of my life I have been alone. I had no teacher, and received no love or support. I could not say with absolute certainty, ”I got a family that loves me”. It was rough growing up, I won't deny that. Everything I've been through, all the trials and tribulations I've encountered, has somehow made me stronger, more determined, and more eager to learn. In my younger days I was desperate to be part of something to feel loved, to feel wanted. It's a scary feeling when no one cares or loves you. I don't know what love is, I've never seen or felt it before.

I had to figure things out on my own. And for me that always meant learning the hard way. I am who I am though. I don't fully know myself yet, nor do I know my purpose in life, but everyday I learn a little more. I've made a few self-discoveries, but I still have much more to uncover, not just about myself, but life in general.

I recognize the dark side of life. I'm all too familiar with the dark side, I actually have a deep interest of that side, and always have since I was just a baby.

I want to see what the other side is like. I want to have self- mastery. I am determined to find myself.

My state of mind: NEVER GIVE UP

I didn't come this far just to give up. No matter how bad look or get. No matter how many near death experiences I encounter, no matter what anyone says, never give up on yourself and having a fair chance at life. It's a struggle every single day, but I try my hardest to do the right thing, never disrespect or offend anyone, keep my composure, and jeep a smile on my face. Things get better with time. And knowledge is definitely power.

COMMENTS

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SinfulMelody
09:41 Aug 22 2018

well written

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RD
09:19 Aug 23 2018

Thank you

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Everyday I do something to better my situation. I'm not going to say I regret my past, I'll just say I wish I made better choices. I was given some good game. I was discussing gang- banging with an older friend of mines and he opened my eyes up a little with his statement, he told me, ” it’s not a gang, it’s an organization, and there is no room for mistakes. I thought damn, it's a little late in the game to be telling me that, but then again, better now then never.

Although tomorrow is not promised to me, I still try to make the best out of the present. I'm grateful for this website and I expect to get the most out of it if possible.

Im currently practicing Wicca as a Solitary and I've learned a lot so far.

It's crazy because my whole life I had been searching for something like Wicca, to have a deeper insight and to be able to explore my natural abilities, and just to find out more about myself. Self-Discovery. Anyway I'm happy I finally found a religion at least. I hope to get closer with the goddesses and god's so I can have a better life. Self -Made.

I'm starting my year and day today to become Wiccan. So far I've written a statement of why I wish to study the craft, I wrote a self dedication, and I'm starting on my Book of Shadows. If anyone has any tips for a beginner please enlighten me. Thank you. Other then that I'm trying to get attuned with my God and Goddess and start circle casting to get some experience!

COMMENTS

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Mindie
10:13 Aug 16 2018

Have you studied sigils yet?

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RD
18:32 Aug 16 2018

Yeah. I found a website called SigilDaily.com. I'm curious why do you ask? Do what type if power can they bring?

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Thank you for accepting my request. I am happy to be part of this online group. I also hope to make some connections and new friends. I’m eager to learn more about myself and life in general. I plan on getting the most out of the this . Once again thank you. I also start my year and a day Wicca path I just wrote my self dedication . I feel like I’m on the right path. I just tell myself everyday, Never give up.