Everything is Desperation01:45 Nov 25 2009
Times Read: 658
You lie in bed with your body broken,
waiting for the ceiling to fall,
while your father cleans up the mess
and leaves for work.
You scream and shout and throw things,
break glasses,break dishes,
break skin veins heart,
but you never ever cry,
because crying is desperation
and everything is desperation
and you are not like everything else.
“Where did you get the bruise?”
“Fell down the stairs.” (was punched in the face.)
“Where did you get the split lip?”
“Hit myself opening a cabinet.” (he bit my lip when I screamed.)
“Where did you get the sprained wrist?”
“Slipped in the shower.” (was thrown into a wall.)
“Where did you get the broken heart?”
“My boyfriend broke up with me.” (my father touched me.)
Someday they will figure it out,
Someday they will realize that you aren’t
falling down the stairs
or hitting yourself with cabinets
or slipping in showers,
and that day is approaching much too slowly and far too fast.
What will you do when they know know KNOW
your deep dark secret,
what will they say and think?
Will they help you or abandon you?
Will it be better if they hate you,
pity you,
or leave you to die?
Indifference is the best painkiller
in the whole damn world,
but indifference is a sin against humanity –
it kills and rapes and murders,
it leaves debris and muted tears in its wake,
and nobody ever really cares
if you jumped off the bridge,
the roof,
or the cliff.
They just like to pretend, so they wouldn’t feel guilty.
Don’t die, but don’t leave a mess if you really want to.
We tried
you did nothing to help me
we tried
but you didn’t do anything
we tried
but I still got hurt
but I didn’t cry, never cry, crying is desperation
and no matter what I am still me
still an individual and he cannot take that from me
we tried.
Well, you fucking lost.
Insert coins, try again.
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