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I feel like I ma lost. I mean, I want to be in darkness but it feels like the times is gone, my time is gone, there's no point ( it's the last thought in my mind though), the spells will not work, i can't do magic, the spells will to work, the demons will not come, what if i called another or something and then, i will say to myself that i am going idiot and it's all me that is thin king all this rubbish and may be my fear is getting more than my desire.. so, i pit away my fear and now i am back to all that but still, i feel lost, 3 things. One is the spells will work, they will not come and may be i will get tricked and may be I will not be here. I have to get away from here or so like this world or my family....