PriestessxKarei's Vampire Journal

PriestessxKarei's Journal

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5 entries this month

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Sometimes, there just aren't enough rocks.
20:58 Aug 12 2011
Times Read: 465

Have you ever regretted how you were born? Think careful. I'm not asking if you've ever regretted being born, just how you were born. Were you born with a birth defect? Did you inherit some negative trait from your family? Were you born and grew up to be beautiful just to be hounded by sex deprived me all the time or born not so beautiful and spent so much time longing to find someone who could love you for whats inside?

The world is a harsh place. I know this better than others. I have my own demons I fight. I regret how I was born because how I was born has hurt so many people. Temper, my inability to totally Master my emotions. I've always been tall for a girl and more masculine. Just my genetic's, but I've always felt I looked pretty. No, my issue has been mental and I seem to destroy anything good thing that comes my way.

I have come to realize that there are those that prefer the darkness and shadows of solitude. They like their life private and have little need for companionship beyond their own little circle of friends.

Me? I miss my Court and House. I miss serving as a Priestess and healer for those that needed me. I miss having a strong partner by my side to help hold me up when my own strength fails. I move along to be sure. I have no choice, but deep in my heart I know what I desire.

I'm a fighter, a lover, a Priestess of the Light and Shadow all at once. I right wrongs and triumph over evil one day then actually cause the wrongs another. People tell me to embrace all of myself or I shall never know peace. How can you do that when one part of you goes against everything you believe in? When it throws spurs in your beautiful dreams?

Have you ever regretted how you were born? Have you ever wondered why this path has been chosen for you? Have you ever fought so long and so hard that once in a great while, even the embrace of death seems welcome?

May the Shadows protect you and the light fill you,

Priestess Karei na Gealai Samhain

COMMENTS

Oceanne
21:47 Aug 12 2011

Never once have I regretted how I was born.

Yes,I have fought long and hard..more than once.And yes,death embraced me.But I didnt want that yet,it wasnt my time.

So,here I am.

We all have our "crosses "to bear.I bare them willingly.

Do you?

BlackMetal888
23:22 Aug 12 2011

Nope!!

PriestessxKarei
00:46 Aug 13 2011

I have come to find that many times the solace of death seemed to comfort me, but it was all a ploy in my head. It was a way out of fighting a battle I had no idea how to win.

I loved myself once and then hated myself for a long time. I struggle to find balance within now that I have this darkness in me.

My cross is the reason I'm a Priestess. Who better to aid those with issues then one who knows the weight of one?

Blood and Chocolate
20:41 Aug 11 2011
Times Read: 479

It is an interesting thing to be called and Vampyr. What does it really mean? Movies and TV shows like to show us at our best and worst. Everyone loves the fairy tale and a lot of people want to be like us so badly, they resort to goth and old Victorian garb in an attempt to be like us.

But really, sometimes I'm remind of a quote I once heard.

"Did you ever notice how in the Bible, when ever God needed to punish someone, or make an example, or whenever God needed a killing, he sent an angel? Did you ever wonder what a creature like that must be like? A whole existence spent praising your God, but always with one wing dipped in blood. Would you ever really want to see an angel? "

I think the same can apply to many Vampirics. Think about it. By definition we are creatures that take from others. We take blood, or emotions, or the very life energy flowing from their spirit or soul. Some of us, are even capable of killing if pushed to far. There are vampires who strive for balance, some even for good, but many who practice the dark arts and worship dark gods.

Vampires prey on people. Many of them have no idea what its REALLY like to be one of us. TO feel that hunger and need. We have courts and we Covens and we have communities and in nearly every one, there is a person who desires to be like us. If they only knew how it changes you.

I have never, in all my years of researching the back ground of the Vampire\Vampyre\Vampyr even heard of an origin of light. We are usually cursed, possessed, banished from grace. I think it speaks a lot to how lost so many of the younger generation is to actually wish to seek out and desire to become a creature like that.

I know if I had ever been given the choice between delighting in Blood or Chocolate....I would choose the latter.

Priestess Karei

COMMENTS

Oceanne
21:07 Aug 11 2011

So,how is a vampire different than a regular person?

PriestessxKarei
21:27 Aug 11 2011

I suppose if you look at it a certain way, there really isn't any other then Vampires usually must feed from others and regular folks just seem to do it for their own selfish again such as power, spite, revenger.

I guess honestly, the entire human race is nothing but parasites. Good point

Oceanne
00:57 Aug 12 2011

I think we are too..it is a shame too.

And now to find a Mentor...
20:12 Aug 07 2011
Times Read: 492

This should be fun....I'm an established person, firm in belief, former House Lead and Duchess of the Highest Court in that House....of course being a natural jaded, lost and bitter Bitch isn't going to help matters either.

I'm so screwed.

COMMENTS

Why are Vampires nearly always portrayed as evil?
20:04 Aug 07 2011
Times Read: 494

I don't get it. I think its more of a testament of how much influence the goth culture and fiction of Vampire lore has seeped into our history. It makes me sick to see people that only wish to embrace the dark part of our nature when that is only a sum of what we are. I personal hate being a Vampiric. I loathe it, though there is nothing I can do for it.

I just wish there were more Houses and Courts that embraced balance. I understand what I am is rare and I only know of one other like me and thats only because he was the one who changed me as we fought over a three year period. I hear people talk of lonliness....but I wonder how many really know what it means.

Priestess Karei

Lady of Arundel

COMMENTS

New beginnings and a Banana
09:42 Aug 07 2011
Times Read: 506

So here I am......

Hard to believe a few days ago I was a Duchess in charge of the strong and noble Vampiric court: Cuirt na Gealai Samhain, formally known as Le Mason nuit Puissante. Yet here I am....Mistress of a broken House, ruler of an empty castle and utterly....alone.

It had to happen. There was no other choice. Sometimes its better to let your beloved home sleep, then let it live and grow into something you don't want it to be. Laziness....sheer selfishness and laziness were the weapons that mortally wounded my home. I should have never have trust our old Queen into our ranks. I should have known that useless, poor excuse for a Vampire that 'I' Sired would be good for nothing. Talk...all talk....oh look, theres that Banana I've been meaning to eat all day......

So with the Court closed, I am reduced to my most basic titles, those earned through Bloodline and ordination. Lady Karei of Arundel and Priestess Karei.

Perhaps this is my punishment for trying to embrace this vampiric side of myself. I hate it, you know. HATE IT. I was happy as I was. My otherkin True Self was rare, brilliant and amazing. I could bask in its light and fought so many battles in the name of light against online predators. I fought to protect the young teenagers who were in a group I was also in from the Leader of said group. I kept them from being tricked into his RL home...a man of 30+ enticing kids of 13-16.

What did I get for my trouble? 3 years of all out war, drama and in the end he got my most loyal friend to his side. Bastard. Misusing his gifts for sexual gain. Then the community said I was the Villain somehow for causing so much fighting.....HE WAS A PEDOPHILE!! *growls* So I turned my back on them and walked away with a little parting gift from that Bastard. I was a Vampiric now...tainted by his darkness...

I can't change what happened, but I can't ignore that a part of me is now Vampiric. Not anymore.

I embraced it, worked my way up and yet here I sit now...in the dust....alone. So what does a knocked down Priestess with a fair amount of power do when she's like this......eat a Banana.

Priestess Karei

Lady of Arundel