The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I'm so tired of these thoughts keeping me up...

It's past 2am and I was to rest, but there are too many thoughts in my head...

Last night, I was just keeping my nocturnal self busy when I get a message from a guy I'd only met the day before, through facebook and not face-to-face.

He seems nice and all, but . . .

Anyway, he was trying to convince me to go out on a 3am walk but I declined, although he then became more insistent.

After weaving together a few solid excuses, he dropped the topic, but then proceeded to ask about pics.

Of course I ignored him after that because of how creepy he was being, but it did leave me feeling extremely uncomfortable and unnerved and . . still is . . .

After a random message from my friend Mercury (he's always getting me into peculiar situations), I now have a student regarding my Wiccan craft.

She's only just started to get back into learning about magick amd Merc informed me that I'd be a good Teacher for her, since I'm the only person he knows that is well-studied on the topic.

She knows the very basics of protection wards, so I'm very glad.

She also seems keen to explore uncommon branches too, I see a lot of potential in her and now . .



I understand the pride a Teacher feels for a keen student.

The Midnight toll has past chimed and no delight is to be found...

How tasteless and bland.

While the moon turns away in her hollow ebony state, come forth and share your company with me.

Ignite a spark of chaos and let it blister through the night, setting boredom ablaze.

So come, curious soul.

Come.

Well, time to catch up on five years worth of podcasts-

The episodes are only 20 or so minutes long, but the peculiar nature of the podcasts make it wirth listening to.

Not sure how this happened, but my chest and ribs are aching and it's incredibly painful to move...

Unfortunately, breathing hurts too-

I don't know what I've done to achieve such pain but it's awful.

COMMENTS

-

---

LadyFogWreathedMoon
21:06 Oct 26 2016

That sounds horrendous. I feel for you and hope you feel much better soon.

---

POST COMMENT

Well, my Mom's had a few too many glasses of wine (a few too many bottles more like) and is blaring out music at 1am.

I struggle with sleeping normally, but this is ridiculous.



[ She sighs deeply and rubs her exhaustion heavy eyes ]



I don't expect to be sleeping any time soon, so I hope I can find something to entertain me until sunrise.

Even in this lethargic state of Melancholy, I refuse to let it get the better of me.

I AM strong.

I am NOT weak.

I can get over this and put my energy into getting better, because I am too stubborn to stay down in this fight. I'll get back up every time and I'll stand my ground.

Nearly 18, I've hardly even begun my life... so I sure as hell ain't going to throw away whatever years I have left over some chronic sadness.

I refuse to fall.

I just . . feel so tired and drained.

All the time.

Even after 8+ hours of sleep, I just want to curl up under my covers and stay like that forever.

The Melancholy usually makes me feel this way, but never at such intensity . . .

It's been a week since I started taking anti-depressant tablets . . .

So I can't feel 'sad' in my typical manner, in a way.

When I'm suppose to feel sad, I just feel empty instead.

Numb.

I suppose that isn't too bad though.



Life has really worn me out . . .

By now, I can disappear from my friends' mind simply by going silent. I walk with them but avoid their awareness, I can move from one place to another without being noticed.



And all of this is achieved in silence.



I suppose it's nice, y'know . . . to just disappear.

To hide within my friends' shadows.



It's not new, however. I've always been able to disappear from a person's attention; whether by being quiet, staying still, appearing emotionless or simply softening my breaths.

It's a natural ability, I guess.

And it works on everybody . . .



Except him.

Emotions are weird.

Feelings are strange.

Thoughts are overwhelming.



I need more sleep.

So, Samhain is approaching and so far, I have had a severe lack of ideas on how to arrange my alter in honor of the dead.

I always make an effort to create something, but this year I've struggled, so if anybody has any tips or ideas on what I can do for a Samhain Alter, feel free to message me your thoughts!

Thank you for taking the time to read this, blessed be.

)O(

It would be nice to keep up the whole 'Intellectual vocabulary' thing like I use to, but the mass majority of my time is spent being careful on what to say and trying to be mysterious is getting pretty boring.

So yeah. [ She shrugs slightly ]

Just an update for the company of dear souls I have collected.



Due to the increase of street violence and 'clown' activity in my hometown, I am attending combat/self-defense lessons every Wednesday, so that I may offer my younger siblings some form of protection if an unwelcome situation occurs.



Since each session will take place on Wednesdays, I shall not be active Tuesday nights, as I will need to rest up.



Anyway, this is all I wished to share with you all.

Blessed be, dear souls.

The Paper Melody - Then, The Sky Opened Up And Swallowed Then Whole.



(Fooled you once, Fooled you twice,

Now this city...)



Vague were their eyes,

As if withholding little secrets.

Fixed upon their need to quench a thirst.

"Just one drink's enough for me,

But I can't speak for the shadow beneath me."





Creeping,

Crawling,

Desperately...





Make, Make me believe,

That I am a fountain, leave me dry.

Well I'll show you empty, I'll show you empty,

Take all you need from me.

I'll bring the Famine!





They took her eyes for the-

Beauty she sees in all things.

Vials of tears worn proudly around their necks.

Memories of loved ones lost,

And the girl that got away,

And he's left with nothing.

Everyone is left with nothing!





Creeping,

Crawling,

Desperately...





Show me all of your darkness, your secrets!

"Don't you know there's no escaping me?"

You are the fountain, I'll make you believe,

Make you believe.





Make, Make me believe,

That I am a fountain, leave me dry.

Well I'll show you empty, I'll show you empty,

Take all you need from me.

I'll bring the Famine!





Wash your greedy hands with me!

Well, I'll show you empty, I'll show you empty,

Take all you need from me.

I'll bring the Famine!





(Fooled you once, Fooled you twice

Now this city...)

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the sky is falling."





I've created a monster!

Rage overflowing, you're done taking from me.

As the Earth pulls you under-

I'll show you empty when you are buried!





Left with nothing.

Watch them flee...





Make, Make me believe,

That I am a fountain, leave me dry,

Well I'll show you empty, I'll show you empty,

Take all you need from me.

I'll bring the Famine!





Wash your greedy hands with me!

Well, I'll show you empty, I'll show you empty,

Take all you need from me.



I'll bring the Famine!!

The act of taking honor is an amusing little thing, is it not?

We witness the result, while the cause of such loss enjoys their anonymity and petty success.

What a foolish kind of satisfaction a simple soul may enjoy these days, I almost pity them.

Almost.

COMMENTS

-

---

SimpleMan
08:02 Oct 13 2016

In my opinion if you are going to take honor. You should have the guts to show your name.

---

KieaCakes
18:14 Oct 13 2016

Yup. What he said. ^

They've no problem leaving names when they give it. If they're such amazing keyboard warriors a little honor taken back and a virtual bitch slap shouldn't make a difference. I think they all just want to say they're more popular than the other.

---

POST COMMENT

It seems that some souls are yet to learn.

I suppose I should feel pity for their naivety, but as somebody who has been on and off this site for a fair few years, I truly understand that some lessons are best learnt through experience.

Where to begin . .

As this site cradles an abundance of creatures and spiritually attuned beings, I believe my own announcement (and self discovery) has been somewhat overdue.



And yet, why apply time to those who are timeless.



In a simple notion, I am an Old Soul.

From deep meditation and personal experiences, including conversations with a spiritualist healer as well as my own Medium Grandmother, there is the theme of Nobility and High Title etched into the very threads of my soul, as it drifts from vessel to vessel.

I do not believe myself to be superior at all, as to assume such importance of myself is vain and disrespectful to those who deserve high-title respect . . however, the key terms of 'Guard' and 'Sacrifice' reoccurs every time.



While I am comfortable and accepting of being an Old Soul, I cannot deny a few things . .



I have had the pleasure of another's blood upon my tongue and the frail damage of exposure to sunlight for too long.

Of feeding from another soul's energy and taking what I needed at will.

While nobody was harmed, the mere act of chasing a fleeting figure had sent a thrilling shock through my body, increasing my adrenaline so I may run faster, turn sharper . .

Hunt.



Perhaps these are just memorised instincts and habits from a past life.

Who knows.



Who dares to find out.

Merry meet . .

I must apologise, for this decision was suddenly made upon an exhausted mind and a personal desire for self-isolation, to render my mind into a state of serenity, so my thoughts and emotions are not a hectic rush of confusion.



I will be taking a couple days leave, occasionally logging in to check for messages that I can keep in mind to answer upon return. However, replies should be expected after I state my return by Kismet or Journal, perhaps on the 5th or 6th of October.



I apologise again for my unexpected retreat, I just . . need some time to myself.

Thank you for reading, dear souls.

Blessed be. )O(