.
VR
PhoenicianDream's Journal


PhoenicianDream's Journal

THIS JOURNAL IS ON 139 FAVORITE JOURNAL LISTS

Honor: 25    [ Give / Take ]

PROFILE




6 entries this month
 

o.O Aaaahahahahahahahaha!

16:08 Dec 27 2007
Times Read: 857


WHAT WHAT???



LOL Damnit Angel I'm never going to get this stupid thing out of my head!




COMMENTS

-



 

Stupid people make me laugh.... a lot.

01:51 Dec 24 2007
Times Read: 869


lmao.. I'll never look at a bicycle pump the same.







COMMENTS

-



 

HAZMAT

17:16 Dec 18 2007
Times Read: 882


Aaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha! :D Thanks ayw... I needed the laugh :P



Hazardous Materials Information Sheet



Woman



Element : Woman

Symbol : Wo

Discoverer : Adam

Atomic Mass : Accepted at 53.6 Kg but known to vary from 40-200kg.

Occurrences : Large quantities in urban shopping areas.



Physical Properties :



1. Surface usually covered by paint.

2. Boils at nothing , freezes for no known reason.

3. Melts if given special treatment.

4. Bitter if incorrectly handled.

5. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.

6. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.



Chemical Properties :



1. Has great affinity for gold and a range of precious stones.

2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.

3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.

4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.

5. MOST Powerful money reducing agent known to man.



Common Uses :



1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.

2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.

3. Very effective cleaning agent.



Tests :



1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.

2. Turns green when placed next to a better specimen.



Hazards :



1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.

2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact with each other, if this happens there is an atomic reaction in which the user becomes physically damaged.





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Man



Element: Man

Symbol: Ma

Discoverer: Some woman called god

Atomic Mass: From Mr Bean to Arnold Schwarzenegger

Occurrences: Found in large quantities around the element whose symbol is Wo.



Physical Properties:



1. Rants at nothing; swears for no known reason.

2. Found in various states from sober to unconscious.

3. Rises if strokedmassagedkissed in the correct places.

4. Sulks if incorrectly handled.

5. Surface usually covered in hair.

6. Controlled by utensil between legs.

7. Can loose hair rapidly where needed i.e head, and gain it else where.



Chemical Properties :



1. Activity increases when deprived of alcohol.

2. Most GULLIBLE money agent known to women.

3. May explode spontaneously if 3-in a bed is mentioned.

4. Needs sex in great quantities.

5. Has great affinity for beer, a wide range of women, sex more sex and more beer and oh yeah woman.



Common Uses :



1. Can be great aid to getting what you want.

2. Very affective rutting agent.

3. Highly ornamental especially if rich.

4. Can be helpful when decorating, but beware has no colour sense.

5. Worth keeping if can last longer the 2 mins when aroused.



Tests :



1. Turns white when CSA mentioned.

2. Can't distinguish between 1" and 10".

3. Goes limp when placed next to better specimen.

4. Struts when found in natural state.



Hazards :



1. Illegal to posses more than one, but due to lack of intelligence several can be maintained on each day of week.

2. Easily led when with fellow elements.

3. Extremely volatile when mixed with booze and clubs.

COMMENTS

-



 

More Funnies

22:59 Dec 16 2007
Times Read: 891


Here's some more humor sent from my mother. o.0



Vampire Rave - The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory - http://www/VampireRave.com

Mind you my parents have been married thirty years next spring. heheheh









CHINESE PROVERBS

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run in front of car get tired.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

*~*~*~*~*~! *~*~*~*~*

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

COMMENTS

-



 

Male Chauvinism

23:35 Dec 04 2007
Times Read: 923


This was sent to me by atyourwindow. ;P It tickles me in my special spot. Heheheheh





It's a Man's World





How many men does it take to open a beer?

- None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.



Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

- Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.



Why do women have smaller feet than men?

- It allows them to stand closer to the sink.



How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

- She starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."



How do you fix a woman's watch?

- It doesn't matter. There is a clock on the oven.



Why do men break wind more than women?

- Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.



If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

- The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in.



What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

- A woman that won't do what she's told.



I married Miss Right.

- I just didn't know her first name was Always.



I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months!

- I don't like to interrupt her.



Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by up to 90%.

- It's called wedding cake.



Marriage is a three ring circus:

- Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.



My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"

- I said, "Dust!"



In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.

- Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.



Why do men die before their wives?

- They want to.



A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading "Wife Wanted."

- The next day he received a hundred letters saying "You can have mine."

COMMENTS

-



 

Holiday cheer

00:51 Dec 03 2007
Times Read: 933


Happy holidays. If I have to have this shit stuck in my head all month.... so should you.



Enjoy.












COMMENTS

-






COMPANY
REQUEST HELP
CONTACT US
SITEMAP
REPORT A BUG
UPDATES
LEGAL
TERMS OF SERVICE
PRIVACY POLICY
DMCA POLICY
REAL VAMPIRES LOVE VAMPIRE RAVE
© 2004 - 2024 Vampire Rave
All Rights Reserved.
Vampire Rave is a member of 
Page generated in 0.0957 seconds.
X
Username:

Password:
I agree to Vampire Rave's Privacy Policy.
I agree to Vampire Rave's Terms of Service.
I agree to Vampire Rave's DMCA Policy.
I agree to Vampire Rave's use of Cookies.
•  SIGN UP •  GET PASSWORD •  GET USERNAME  •
X