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I'm so disappointed in myself. I'm so fucking conceeded.



I was always disappointed in Tanner, for letting me down. Yes, I know that I let him down too. But I don't think I ever had... a specific reason in my own point of view.



I was so disappointed in him because I wasn't happy. He was the one to make me happy, and he just... didn't.

I'm so disappointed in myself because he wasn't happy. I was the one to make him happy, and I just... didn't.



I... knew this all along. I recognized this. It just so happens that... I know can place myself in his shoes. Although they are quite a bit bigger than mine.



I was always sooo grateful that it happened in the first place. But so mad at the same time. I think... little by little, I'm letting the anger go.



He likes Michelle now. Not me. He's over me.

Everything about me, is over.

And that's what I asked for all along.





Nate reminded me today that past boyfriends have checked out other girls and said "she's hot" right in front of me. I forgot Tanner ever did that. I only remembered Gary did that, lol.

I guess, Nate got me thinking. He made me realize that I forgot so much that I told myself not to forget.

Damn my memory.



No, this isn't the end of the tears. And no, I'm still not over him.

But I do feel as though I'm moving on. Onto what? Hell if I know! And... that's okay.



Because, nothing is as bad as it seems, ever.

I am Abbey.

I am human.

Ugh. I need to get over Tanner. Right now. It is needed.



Oh my God. Fuck Taylor! And I'm getting close to saying Aly, too.

Nate wants Aly, and I kinda want Taylor.

Guess who's going out now?

>=(

Taylor and I were supposed to go on a date too.

Fuck that.

I feel so bad for Nate. He's head over heels for that girl. She just doesn't get it. :(



I'm happy for Bonnie. Her and Cj are way cute. :) No, they aren't offcial. But close enough! haha. :)



Eh. Whatever. :)



I Hate Everyone.

I can actually say that I'm happy again. Hanging out with Daniel really put my mind at ease.

He made me so happy. I don't think he would understand that. lol.

Bonnie is happy again. :)

It rubs off I guess.

Pahah! That's what she said!



Anyway, don't get me wrong. My life isn't perfect yet. But all I'm saying is that, after everything, I knew I would be happy again. And my "happy again" is here, I guess.



I hung out with Tanner today. We were wrestling on his bed. Slowly getting closer and closer. But boy, were my shields up HIGH. There was no way that boy's lip were going to touch mine. No way, no how.

They didn't.

He leaned in, closer, closer.... almost there.

"Don't even!"

"don't even what??"

"Don't even try to kiss me!"

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to."

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to."

""

""

""

"".

That went on. Anyway, he just kinda, gave up.



He wasn't mad, at least he didn't show it. But he stopped touching me.

I was so happy.

I mean, like, smile to myself the whole time happy.

His ass looked so nice.

Anyway, I think I passed the test.

How many more are there to come? I dunno. But I'm ready now!



Who do I like now?

Daniel?

Tanner?

Taylor?



I still like Tanner. I do.

Taylor? Been there, done that. Not gonna happen again. But... maybe... just a little playing around...?

Daniel? I could see us being together, but I want to be single. And, he's kinda immature.

But, seeing as how we're in highschool,

EVERYONE IS.

:)



Shanika got a new haircut.

Dyke Spike.

Good look.